I'm writing this as someone who hasn't used this website in well over a year, but after reflecting on the fact that I did once have a serious and near relationship ending addiction to porn, I figured I would make this post and share with you all what I've learned over the past 700 days.. Some of this, I think, many of you won't want to hear, and for some people this may not be the most encouraging post, but I do hope it's sobering, and that it is taken in the spirit that it was intended. The main point that I want to make here, is that nofap is not a panacea. It will not cure you of all your ailments, you will not get super powers, you will not become irresistibly attractive to women, you will most likely not become the next Bill Gates because you stopped jerking off. You may feel these states temporarily, you may be more attractive to women than you previously were, but if you go into this thinking you're going to suddenly, and permanently enter into beast mode for the rest of your life and never again feel like the loser you've always felt like then you are setting yourself up for nothing but disappointment and relapse. What will happen, though, is you will develop self respect. When you look in the mirror, consciously or not, you won't be reminded of the depravity, the helplessness, the lack of control you feel. You'll be reminded of the fact that you are in control of your habits, and because you're in control of your habits, you have greater control over your life. With this subtle daily reminder, you will naturally start making better choices. As humans, we strive for a coherent concept of who we are and this concept is largely based around the choices we make, and our routines. Because of this need for consistency, if you are a porn addict, the choices you make can't not be affected by porn. If every time you look in the mirror you see a porn addict staring back at you, why would you work out? Why would you eat properly? Why would you make good decisions? Consciously, you might be thinking "man I know I gotta watch my weight but I really want that KFC right about now", but unconsciously you're acting on the notion that a piece of shit like you doesn't deserve to eat well. Not using porn replaces the self concept of "the piece of shit porn addict" with "the person who is in control of their decisions" and this is where the magic happens. Gradually, you will start to feel better, more energetic, more loving, more human. This is a compounding, but nonlinear process. The more good decisions you make, the more your sense of self respect increases, the better human being you will become. You will have low points, but you will get better at pulling yourself out of them. The problem I have with the 'superpower' ideal that many nascent nofappers (my former self included) is that it implies the following: 1. You stop fapping 2. You suffer through a 70-120 day withdrawal period 3. You suddenly get hit with a lightening rod of energy, all of your problems will evaporate and you will live like a god among mere mortals for the rest of your life. Maybe this is the case for some people, but it certainly wasn't for me. I got the horrible withdrawal period, I stabilised and then my life got incrementally better over time. I understand that this may be disheartening for those of you who are hoping to go from zero to hero overnight. I remember trawling through these forums, looking through the success stories and the lists of amazing achievements people had made to inspire me, so I'm going to do the same, but I want it to be clear that these are things that I worked at, not simply a function of having NoFap superpowers. Before NoFap I was: * Overweight * Undisciplined * A smoker * In a sexless relationship * Barely passing at university * Unable to finish anything I started * A constant procrastinator * Unreliable * Directionless * Self loathing Now: * In excellent shape * Disciplined * A non-smoker * Enjoys regular, shame-free sex * Graduated university with a 20% increase in my average grades * I finish EVERYTHING that I start (unless I consciously choose not to) * Procrastinate far less than I ever have (I hesitate to say this because I should be working on my grad portfolio right now and not writing this article) * Reliable * I know what I want to do with my life * I love myself Along the way: * I Read well over 100 books after barely finishing a book in years * I Taught myself to code * Overcame a life-long fear of mathematics to find that I love it, and that I'm naturally good at it * Worked through a huge degree of the childhood trauma that led me to addiction in the first place I still have things to work on, but I could not have possibly come as far as I have without the self respect that came with taking control over my addiction. Given that I know I have come as far as I have, I know I can go further, and that I will continue to become a better person, everyday. I will never have superpowers, I will never be perfect, but I am, and will continue to be a better person than I was. And so can you!