Observations after 700+ days of nofap

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Will27272, Feb 8, 2020.

  1. Will27272

    Will27272 Fapstronaut

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    I'm writing this as someone who hasn't used this website in well over a year, but after reflecting on the fact that I did once have a serious and near relationship ending addiction to porn, I figured I would make this post and share with you all what I've learned over the past 700 days..

    Some of this, I think, many of you won't want to hear, and for some people this may not be the most encouraging post, but I do hope it's sobering, and that it is taken in the spirit that it was intended.

    The main point that I want to make here, is that nofap is not a panacea. It will not cure you of all your ailments, you will not get super powers, you will not become irresistibly attractive to women, you will most likely not become the next Bill Gates because you stopped jerking off.

    You may feel these states temporarily, you may be more attractive to women than you previously were, but if you go into this thinking you're going to suddenly, and permanently enter into beast mode for the rest of your life and never again feel like the loser you've always felt like then you are setting yourself up for nothing but disappointment and relapse.


    What will happen, though, is you will develop self respect.

    When you look in the mirror, consciously or not, you won't be reminded of the depravity, the helplessness, the lack of control you feel. You'll be reminded of the fact that you are in control of your habits, and because you're in control of your habits, you have greater control over your life.

    With this subtle daily reminder, you will naturally start making better choices.

    As humans, we strive for a coherent concept of who we are and this concept is largely based around the choices we make, and our routines. Because of this need for consistency, if you are a porn addict, the choices you make can't not be affected by porn.

    If every time you look in the mirror you see a porn addict staring back at you, why would you work out? Why would you eat properly? Why would you make good decisions?

    Consciously, you might be thinking "man I know I gotta watch my weight but I really want that KFC right about now", but unconsciously you're acting on the notion that a piece of shit like you doesn't deserve to eat well.

    Not using porn replaces the self concept of "the piece of shit porn addict" with "the person who is in control of their decisions" and this is where the magic happens.

    Gradually, you will start to feel better, more energetic, more loving, more human. This is a compounding, but nonlinear process. The more good decisions you make, the more your sense of self respect increases, the better human being you will become. You will have low points, but you will get better at pulling yourself out of them.

    The problem I have with the 'superpower' ideal that many nascent nofappers (my former self included) is that it implies the following:

    1. You stop fapping

    2. You suffer through a 70-120 day withdrawal period

    3. You suddenly get hit with a lightening rod of energy, all of your problems will evaporate and you will live like a god among mere mortals for the rest of your life.


    Maybe this is the case for some people, but it certainly wasn't for me.

    I got the horrible withdrawal period, I stabilised and then my life got incrementally better over time.


    I understand that this may be disheartening for those of you who are hoping to go from zero to hero overnight. I remember trawling through these forums, looking through the success stories and the lists of amazing achievements people had made to inspire me, so I'm going to do the same, but I want it to be clear that these are things that I worked at, not simply a function of having NoFap superpowers.

    Before NoFap I was:

    * Overweight
    * Undisciplined
    * A smoker
    * In a sexless relationship
    * Barely passing at university
    * Unable to finish anything I started
    * A constant procrastinator
    * Unreliable
    * Directionless
    * Self loathing

    Now:

    * In excellent shape
    * Disciplined
    * A non-smoker
    * Enjoys regular, shame-free sex
    * Graduated university with a 20% increase in my average grades
    * I finish EVERYTHING that I start (unless I consciously choose not to)
    * Procrastinate far less than I ever have (I hesitate to say this because I should be working on my grad portfolio right now and not writing this article)
    * Reliable
    * I know what I want to do with my life
    * I love myself

    Along the way:

    * I Read well over 100 books after barely finishing a book in years
    * I Taught myself to code
    * Overcame a life-long fear of mathematics to find that I love it, and that I'm naturally good at it
    * Worked through a huge degree of the childhood trauma that led me to addiction in the first place

    I still have things to work on, but I could not have possibly come as far as I have without the self respect that came with taking control over my addiction. Given that I know I have come as far as I have, I know I can go further, and that I will continue to become a better person, everyday.

    I will never have superpowers, I will never be perfect, but I am, and will continue to be a better person than I was.

    And so can you!
     
    Last edited: Feb 8, 2020
  2. helpinghand4all

    helpinghand4all Fapstronaut

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    I am the true virgin incel fuck and let me tell you your nofap streak isn't deemed because you had "regular sex" on your streak.
     
  3. Will27272

    Will27272 Fapstronaut

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    According to?
     
    vxlccm likes this.
  4. Aragorn36

    Aragorn36 Fapstronaut

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    Isnt the definition of fapping masterbating to porn? So if he didnt then its valid. But whatever standard and rules the individual sets for themselves is far more important
     
  5. Aragorn36

    Aragorn36 Fapstronaut

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    Awesome job man. How did you deal with the intense craving moments?
     
    TambourineNThyme and Espi1971 like this.
  6. Will27272

    Will27272 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks mate.

    I had two methods, ideally I would just sit with the feeling of wanting to fap until it went away (it always did, eventually) if it was mild enough to ignore.

    If it was extreme, and the above was impossible, I would do any of the following:

    Take a cold shower
    Do as many pushups or situps as I could
    Go for a swim


    Some kind of swift, radical change to my state so that I'd forget the craving..

    Ideally, though, I think the first method is better.. You can't avoid feeling like you wanna fap forever, eventually you will just have to learn to feel the craving and let it pass (and this gets easier with time).
     
  7. Homo Deus

    Homo Deus Distinguished Fapstronaut

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  8. juniormelville

    juniormelville Fapstronaut

    Inspiring. I hope I can say the same things two years from now.
     
  9. porsche4life

    porsche4life Fapstronaut

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    I've noticed that when studying urges can hit the hardest because I'm sitting in one place, it doesn't happen during video games though which is weird. But I do some of the things you listed above and also go running.
     
  10. Kligor

    Kligor Fapstronaut

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    Congrats buddy keep going!
     
    TambourineNThyme and Espi1971 like this.
  11. Ricardo ASDS

    Ricardo ASDS Fapstronaut

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    [QUOTE = "Will27272, pós: 2423533, membro: 201609"] Eu estou escrevendo isso como alguém que não tem usado o site em mais de um ano, mas depois de refletir sobre o fato de que eu tinha uma vez ter um sério e perto relacionamento terminando o vício em pornografia, achei que faria esse post e compartilharia com vocês tudo o que aprendi nos últimos 700 dias ..

    Parte disso, eu acho, muitos de vocês não querem ouvir, e para algumas pessoas esse pode não ser o post mais encorajador, mas espero que seja sóbrio e que seja tomado no espírito pretendido.

    The main point that I want to make here, is that nofap is not a panacea. It will not cure you of all your ailments, you will not get super powers, you will not become irresistibly attractive to women, you will most likely not become the next Bill Gates because you stopped jerking off.

    You may feel these states temporarily, you may be more attractive to women than you previously were, but if you go into this thinking you're going to suddenly, and permanently enter into beast mode for the rest of your life and never again feel like the loser you've always felt like then you are setting yourself up for nothing but disappointment and relapse.


    What will happen, though, is you will develop self respect.

    When you look in the mirror, consciously or not, you won't be reminded of the depravity, the helplessness, the lack of control you feel. You'll be reminded of the fact that you are in control of your habits, and because you're in control of your habits, you have greater control over your life.

    With this subtle daily reminder, you will naturally start making better choices.

    As humans, we strive for a coherent concept of who we are and this concept is largely based around the choices we make, and our routines. Because of this need for consistency, if you are a porn addict, the choices you make can't not be affected by porn.

    If every time you look in the mirror you see a porn addict staring back at you, why would you work out? Why would you eat properly? Why would you make good decisions?

    Consciously, you might be thinking "man I know I gotta watch my weight but I really want that KFC right about now", but unconsciously you're acting on the notion that a piece of shit like you doesn't deserve to eat well.

    Not using porn replaces the self concept of "the piece of shit porn addict" with "the person who is in control of their decisions" and this is where the magic happens.

    Gradually, you will start to feel better, more energetic, more loving, more human. This is a compounding, but nonlinear process. The more good decisions you make, the more your sense of self respect increases, the better human being you will become. You will have low points, but you will get better at pulling yourself out of them.

    The problem I have with the 'superpower' ideal that many nascent nofappers (my former self included) is that it implies the following:

    1. You stop fapping

    2. You suffer through a 70-120 day withdrawal period

    3. You suddenly get hit with a lightening rod of energy, all of your problems will evaporate and you will live like a god among mere mortals for the rest of your life.


    Maybe this is the case for some people, but it certainly wasn't for me.

    I got the horrible withdrawal period, I stabilised and then my life got incrementally better over time.


    I understand that this may be disheartening for those of you who are hoping to go from zero to hero overnight. I remember trawling through these forums, looking through the success stories and the lists of amazing achievements people had made to inspire me, so I'm going to do the same, but I want it to be clear that these are things that I worked at, not simply a function of having NoFap superpowers.

    Before NoFap I was:

    * Overweight
    * Undisciplined
    * A smoker
    * In a sexless relationship
    * Barely passing at university
    * Unable to finish anything I started
    * A constant procrastinator
    * Unreliable
    * Directionless
    * Self loathing

    Now:

    * In excellent shape
    * Disciplined
    * A non-smoker
    * Enjoys regular, shame-free sex
    * Graduated university with a 20% increase in my average grades
    * I finish EVERYTHING that I start (unless I consciously choose not to)
    * Procrastine muito menos do que nunca (hesitei em dizer isso porque eu deveria estar trabalhando no meu portfólio de graduados agora e não escrevendo este artigo)
    * Confiável
    * Eu sei o que quero fazer da minha vida
    * Eu me amo

    Pelo caminho:

    * Eu li bem mais de 100 livros depois de mal terminar um livro em anos
    * Eu me ensinei a codificar
    * Superou o medo da matemática ao longo da vida e descobriu que eu a amo e que sou naturalmente boa nisso
    * Trabalhei com um grande grau de trauma na infância que me levou ao vício em primeiro lugar

    Eu ainda tenho coisas em que trabalhar, mas não poderia ter chegado tão longe quanto cheguei sem o respeito próprio que veio com o controle do meu vício. Como sei que cheguei tão longe quanto sei, sei que posso ir mais longe e que continuarei a me tornar uma pessoa melhor todos os dias.

    Nunca terei superpotências, nunca serei perfeita, mas sou e continuarei sendo uma pessoa melhor do que eu era.

    E você também pode!
    Muito bom cara!
    Parabéns!
     
  12. SuperLife

    SuperLife Fapstronaut

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    Wow very inspiring! I never believed in the superpower bs that a lot of people in this website claim to gain, but self-respect, and not looking at a porn addict every time you look at yourself in the mirror, that's something that I could believe in
     
  13. Di.Do.555

    Di.Do.555 Fapstronaut

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    Inspiring.
    Could you please share your flatline/ withdrawal experience?
     
    Espi1971 likes this.
  14. Will27272

    Will27272 Fapstronaut

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    Sure.

    I remember the first month cycling between high energy, high focus, anger, lethargy and depression. I didn't get as many cravings for porn as a lot of people (though I did get them), but my body was reacting powerfully to porn's absence. Then after a point I became more or less stable and then the recovery process began.

    For me, I didn't get the rock hard erections until basically the last few months (though I started masturbating when I was about 6-7 and I was 28 when I stopped so I'm an unusual case).
     
    TambourineNThyme and Di.Do.555 like this.
  15. Will27272

    Will27272 Fapstronaut

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    You can! Keep at it
     
  16. Innervision

    Innervision Fapstronaut

    Thanks for your sober and lucid post! Self-respect is something I think is so valuable that we could term it like a 'superpower' kind of thing, since it allow you to take responsibility for your choices and life. One little question, if I may: how was/is your relationship with alcohol consumption, regarding relapses? In my case, alcohol is by far the number 1 cause of losing control and engaging in several relapses. All the best!
     
    Espi1971 and vxlccm like this.
  17. SuperLife

    SuperLife Fapstronaut

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    Wait, that means it took you around 600 days of nofap to get rock hard erections?
     
  18. Will27272

    Will27272 Fapstronaut

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    Yep.

    I'm pretty sure that makes me a pretty major outlier, and I think I had additional shame surrounding sex which was separate (but related) to the porn addiction which would have meant that my process would be far longer than the average persons..

    Honestly though, if you're hoping to achieve specific results within a specific timeframe then you're playing the wrong game. The results will come when they come and there's nothing you can do about it except not give up.
     
  19. Will27272

    Will27272 Fapstronaut

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    I rarely drink more than 2-3 drinks in one sitting, and even if I do my partner is most likely around so I couldn't, even if I wanted to ha ha..
     
    Innervision likes this.
  20. llortaton

    llortaton Fapstronaut

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    My Journal
    You should speak for yourself, to be honest. Maybe you didn't feel the benefits as others did. Don't use the word "You", use "I" instead.
     

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