This may be a long read, but hopefully someone else out there has experienced this and can help me. I’ve done some research and haven’t found any posts that have the same problem I do. My main problem, which has caused hundreds of relapses for me, is porn-induced OCD. Ive always been an organized person growing up, but PMO has turned me into some crazed OCD maniac. This is my cycle: 1. Relapse (usually inside my underwear, bad habit i know. I have a different method of m’ing where i dont use spit/lube, i just reach in, do it dry and touch the most sensitive parts) 2. Wash any clothes that may have touched the jizz 3. Take shower until im “100% clean” This shit is running up the damn water bill and has for months. I will literally relapse, go through that cycle, then even though im “clean” and on a good streak will completely start over and do it all over again within 12-24 hours. The biggest problem I have, and im dealing with it right now as I type, is the fact that I keep remembering the *very last* porn video that i watched, up to the last milliseconds. And that I have to get out of the video *before* i cum, if the video is still going after ive already came, then i’m ‘tainted’ and it infiltrated the ’streak’ even if it was only for a split second. So right now, I’m on a perfect streak. I dont use social media whatsoever, don’t watch TV whatsoever, if theres a situation where a girl pops up on screen i just close my eyes or look away. But anyway - even though I’m on a perfect streak right now, worked out last night, I just can’t stop thinking about that *very last* video that I watched. Theres a part of me that thinks that will actually effect the future, but deep down I know it won’t. I know that once I start re-wiring my brain to real life women, anything on a screen won’t bother you at all, like it doesn’t trigger you anymore. But for the last 24 hours or so that last porn vid keeps popping up in my head, my brain wants to use that as an excuse, and im feeling depressed about it now. Sometimes that in and of itself causes headaches. I wish I had that little tool from Men in Black where you can wipe certain parts of your memory. I would make it to where i can’t remember the last P video i watched. Other than that, my streak is totally fine. I just wish i could forget that last video.