OCD and Anxiety preventing a successful streak

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Weekendwarrior556, Sep 25, 2019.

  1. Weekendwarrior556

    Weekendwarrior556 New Fapstronaut

    This may be a long read, but hopefully someone else out there has experienced this and can help me. I’ve done some research and haven’t found any posts that have the same problem I do.

    My main problem, which has caused hundreds of relapses for me, is porn-induced OCD. Ive always been an organized person growing up, but PMO has turned me into some crazed OCD maniac. This is my cycle:

    1. Relapse (usually inside my underwear, bad habit i know. I have a different method of m’ing where i dont use spit/lube, i just reach in, do it dry and touch the most sensitive parts)
    2. Wash any clothes that may have touched the jizz
    3. Take shower until im “100% clean”

    This shit is running up the damn water bill and has for months. I will literally relapse, go through that cycle, then even though im “clean” and on a good streak will completely start over and do it all over again within 12-24 hours.

    The biggest problem I have, and im dealing with it right now as I type, is the fact that I keep remembering the *very last* porn video that i watched, up to the last milliseconds. And that I have to get out of the video *before* i cum, if the video is still going after ive already came, then i’m ‘tainted’ and it infiltrated the ’streak’ even if it was only for a split second.

    So right now, I’m on a perfect streak. I dont use social media whatsoever, don’t watch TV whatsoever, if theres a situation where a girl pops up on screen i just close my eyes or look away. But anyway - even though I’m on a perfect streak right now, worked out last night, I just can’t stop thinking about that *very last* video that I watched. Theres a part of me that thinks that will actually effect the future, but deep down I know it won’t.

    I know that once I start re-wiring my brain to real life women, anything on a screen won’t bother you at all, like it doesn’t trigger you anymore. But for the last 24 hours or so that last porn vid keeps popping up in my head, my brain wants to use that as an excuse, and im feeling depressed about it now. Sometimes that in and of itself causes headaches. I wish I had that little tool from Men in Black where you can wipe certain parts of your memory. I would make it to where i can’t remember the last P video i watched. Other than that, my streak is totally fine. I just wish i could forget that last video.
    Jonny1992 likes this.
  2. Despicable me

    Despicable me Fapstronaut

    Your problems are porn Induced, cant you see that? Quit porn for two weeks, and your monthly water bill will be noticeably smaller. Let that last scene run as long as it runs, dont make any New scenes. I know we are ill, but come on, just two weeks, then you can idulge in porn. And then you understand how good you felt yourself in the end of two weeks. After that relapse you know allready what you need to do. Wish you strenght to endure for two weeks.
    Deleted Account likes this.
  3. Jonny1992

    Jonny1992 Fapstronaut

    you behave like me! How cute! What helped me? Cardi training. To strengthen endurance.
    Monday Running
    Tuesday Soft walk
    Wednesday Running
    Thursday Softwalk
    Friday Running
    Saturday Soft walk
    Sunday Softwalk!

    about 45 minutes till an hour!
    Despicable me likes this.
  4. 19student

    19student Fapstronaut

    it's completely OK that you keep remembering some scenes from the last P that you watched.

    i have this problem too. i remember all my favorite porn and actually it's part of my memories. when i'm not busy or i'm bored and i have nothing to do it popped up in front of my eyes. and if I don't do anything I would definitely break my streak.

    it's very painful and annoying. I completely understand you.

    Loneliness is the worst thing for a person like you and me. so i hope this advices help you:

    1. Don't be alone at all.
    2. Don't close your room's door AT ALL.
    3. if it's possible, don't sleep alone.
    4. plan your every minutes of time. (divide a day into 24 section and define a task to do in each one.)
    5. finally, find out when and where this Thoughts appear and try to change that situation to block them. Certainly, there is a relation between your life style and your situation with that P Scenes.

    when this Thoughts appears I leave my home quickly and go to a library. and sometimes I visit my friends or my cousins. I do something to entertain myself and forget as fast as possible.

    I hope you can make it.

    be strong.;)
    Weekendwarrior556 likes this.

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