ocd/obssesional thoughts

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by zx125, Mar 26, 2021.

  1. zx125

    zx125 Fapstronaut

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    The reason my stopping of pmo was because I found that it was having a negative impact on my ocd. I found that it was causing me to have obsessional thoughts of 'what if I see something illegal while I am searching for pictures on the internet? These thoughts began when I saw the words 'girls and dogs',on a google search result. I didn't click on the website but the obsessional thought of having done something illegal stayed with me. Most recently I clicked on a website and saw the words 'Shemales', and while I clicked off and didn't see any images, this obsessional thought has arisen again. Since that last time, I have made the decision to stop using the internet to search for images to PMO to altogether.

    My question is have I done anything illegal or is it just an ocd/obsession? and has anyone else struggled with obsessional thoughts as a result of PMO?
     
  2. vercent99

    vercent99 Fapstronaut

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    I had a similar thing, I see those odd titles and out of curiousity I want to see what it is, but I know it's wrong so I still do not click on it. It is not that I would ever enjoy watching such content, but there's a little itchy feeling that wants to know what certain videos look like. As long as you don't click it, and you know it would be wrong if you did click, I'm sure you are fine.

    Also you didn't search nor click on anything illegal, so you didn't do anything illegal, don't worry.
     
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  3. zx125

    zx125 Fapstronaut

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    Hi,
    thanks for the reply,
     
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  4. InnerMan

    InnerMan Fapstronaut

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  5. QuiggyG

    QuiggyG Fapstronaut

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    Sounds typical of intrusive thought based OCD or even a level to a degree of POCD.

    As humans, it’s normal to have a sense of morbid curiosity for information or depictions of the almost absurd but also sadly the most abhorrent or foul things. Even if it makes us uncomfortable or uneasy, there is still a level of “interest” into these things from a perspective of trying to understand. The level of morbid curiosity is different with everyone however.
    This is probably why there’s a largest interest in crime stories, TV shows and what not are so popular. I’ve always been fascinated with the crime, and at times I’ve wanted to work as a policeman or study criminology. Sometimes I’ll binge documentaries on criminals, but I’ve stopped doing that because it severely can trigger my OCD. Although not the same as your dilemma, sometimes you feel “connected” or “related” in a way to that negative/bad behaviour, even if it’s intrinsically against your own beliefs.

    As for what you did, you did not view anything (I hope?), you haven’t done anything illegal. All you said you saw was a search suggestion (on Google, which is interesting because they normally better filter out their content searches then other search engines). Someone else probably searched for those terms, that’s how the algorithm works. As for “shemales”, that’s not illegal, that’s just another term for trans women.

    Relax dude, it’s a good choice you chose not to engage in PMO anymore. In someways, these OCD feelings could be a sign or a way to kick the habit. As for coping, I suggest you find a way to control the OCD and utilise any activity (that is particularly meaningful) to quell those intrusive thoughts. I know these thoughts make it tough, maybe see a therapist if it gets way out of control.
     
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  6. zx125

    zx125 Fapstronaut

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    Hi,
    thanks for the reply.
    This is what happened. When I was searching for pictures of women to pmo to, I saw a search result which said 'girls and dogs' but didn't click on it and closed down the web page. On a separate occasion, after clicking onto a website, I saw the word 'shemale' but closed down the web page and didn't see anything.

    On both occasions, I didn't see anything, but it triggered my ocd, so I am trying to use these experiences to stop pmo and stop using the internet to pmo.
     
    Last edited: Apr 6, 2021

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