% of people who actually succeed on NoFap

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by potato bop, May 12, 2018.

  1. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    Yes, I think that it part of it. The other part of it is building a resilience to those triggers... because short of moving to a monastery you will always face things that would trigger you.
     
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  2. _Xavier_

    _Xavier_ Fapstronaut

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    I can certainly agree with that. Getting home from the gym and not caving can be a very big challenge! I am surprised that I am not facing a challenging wave of urges tonight. Goddamn this one woman was following me around and I think my dick was taking all the blood from my brain lmao.
     
  3. Jen@8675309

    [email protected] Distinguished Fapstronaut

    I've always viewed rebooting as temporary, and recovery as a lifetime endeavor. Just as alcoholics can abstain but never really be cured, they must remain vigilant forever. This is how I see my own life; I don't really think I'll ever reach a point where I can 'safely' return to porn and consume it 'normally'.
     
  4. Well said.
     
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  6. ivanhoe

    ivanhoe Fapstronaut

    Well figure out what that 6% did and make it 7%
    Figures like this are meant to discourage people, I suspect that's because there are powerful interests that want people to remain addicted.
    The tobacco industry has lost a lot of its power - its no longer favored by the global elite (they make their money from alcohol, pot and porn - tobacco was a 'vice' controlled by conservatives) - and we don't hear statistics like this - in fact most americans used to smoke and most dont' now.
     
  7. SanctionedUser001

    SanctionedUser001 Fapstronaut

    Dont believe in this 5 yrs or percentage.It is just like crap.BT 1 yr hardmode is sure.Plus do some exercise and meditation.Then u will see good result very soon...
     
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  8. struggleisreal

    struggleisreal Fapstronaut

    I don't care if it's 1%, I'll be among it. That's my attitude regarding this thing. One thing that I think is immensely helpful to the process of recovery/abstinence from PMO is that one can not simply think that abstaining from PMO is going to solve all their problems; one can not think that they are going to abstain from PMO and carry on in mediocrity and other vice and that they won't inevitably slide back into the mire of their PMO addiction either. PMO, at least for me, is just one stone in my prison cell of comfort zone behaviors that keep me from developing as a human being and actualizing my full potential. Man, being made in God's image, isn't meant to sit around and play video games for endless hours, watch tens of hours of movies/netflix/tv a week, or pursue triviality for the duration of his stay in this life. We were created to reflect God's glory. So if you have quit PMO but you still aren't pursuing the intrinsically valuable goals that your soul desires, expect relapse, expect disillusionment and depression to creep in slowly but surely. We need to pursue the development of our character, our emotional development, the development of our minds and bodies. We need to develop deep, meaningful relationships with others, a sense of purpose in our lives through community and in our work. We need to pursue mastery of a craft, whatever that vocation might be. We need to pursue excellence in all that we do, constantly stretching ourselves beyond our comfort zones each day, constantly seeking to be industrious and diligent to the pursuit of intrinsically meaningful goals. It's the pursuit of goals, more than the actual achievement that seems to bring happiness. When we experience flow-state through the pursuit of challenging, yet not overwhelming goals, we experience a sense of fulfillment and happiness. There is so much more that goes into this than simply quitting PMO. Quitting PMO should just be a natural byproduct of wanting to live in arete. To live with virtue and character, to live with self control. It's debasing to be impulsive and emotionally unstable.

    In the pursuit of self development and embarking on my hero's journey slaying PMO is only a stepping stone. If we fail, we get back up and we keep moving forward. I've failed dozens and dozens of times in my struggle with PMO, but incrementally I have made leaps and bounds in the overall development of my character, my mind, my body, my life by focusing on little improvements each day. This is still success to me. I am still so far from where I need to be and I still consume so much of my time in vanity and foolishness, but I am making progress, and I am absolutely convinced that in time I will be an altogether different person than I was 1 year, 2, 3, 5, 10 from now for the better. So many people don't even live their lives, they merely exist and that is all. My parents are a perfect example of people who just lived in their comfort zones their whole lives and are extremely emotionally and mentally underdeveloped for people of their age. I never want that to be me, I refuse to let it be me. I struggle as much as anyone else, I have tons of insecurities, tons of pathologies to rid myself of, but I'm committed to the process, which is a lifetime one.

    To succeed in nofap is just a microcosm of succeeding at one's life, one's hero's journey. 'Success' in our lives will take different shape for all of us as we pursue our intrinsically valuable goals, aspirations, desires, but there are principles that govern this universe that are applicable to all our circumstance. We won't succeed until we begin to look at the bigger context of our life and how PMO as a vice fits in with the rest of that picture. It doesn't mean we won't have relapses/resets, but we need to learn from our failures, grow by them, and continue to pursue greatness. We need to face our fears, face the challenges of life that beset us, we need to slay our dragons, and become well rounded beings.
     
    Last edited: Sep 1, 2018
  9. SanctionedUser001

    SanctionedUser001 Fapstronaut

    I liked it bro.A very good message to all:)
     
  10. struggleisreal

    struggleisreal Fapstronaut

    Thanks, it's somewhat disjointed and not as coherent as it could have been. It's mainly me rambling and venting on personal musings and reflections of information I have gathered in my own journey of self development lol. I guess the main point I was trying to make is that abstinence from PMO is important, is worth our time and effort, but it isn't the only thing we have to contend with.

    If we want to expect real, lasting, positive change to manifest in our lives, we need to focus first and foremost on the development of our character. Stephen Covey's 7 habits of highly effective people delves into this in far greater detail and clarity than I could ever hope to articulate, but our journey to rid ourselves of PMO addiction can't be built on superficial reasons, or extrinsic desires alone, like the desire for the 'super powers' or sexual transmutation to pursue other goals. Yes, there very well may be a lot of merit to those desires, but until the desire to stop PMO comes from the deepest inward parts of our soul to be greater than we are right now, to live in excellence, to be in control of lives, to have virtue, it's going to be a much more uphill battle than it needs to be.

    On the surface sexual gratification through our orgasm, whether it's with a partner or satisfied through porn can seem so important when you are deprived of it for a space of time, but I'm telling you, it won't satisfy the deepest parts of our souls, and in the end, leaves us only wanting. I have had sex with some extremely beautiful women in my life. I'm not trying to toot my own horn here, but my ex has the body of a model, she had natural, large breasts, and a big round butt, she was smoking hot 9/10. I would have sex with her 3 or 4 times a day when we were young and it never satisfied me, it was never enough, I was always left wanting more, needing more, it never satisfied me. When I was stressed out or wanting to flee from the challenges of life I would just smash her brains out and get my orgasm, get my dopamine rush, get my temporary escapism, but it never satisfied my soul. It was no different than when I was addicted to opiates and used them as a form of escapism, to quell my conscience, to blunt my internal misery. I lessened sexual intimacy to simply the gratification of a biological impulse, I treated it like a drug basically, a temporary dopamine hit. I was miserable as a person, because even though I had a very beautiful partner and all the sexual stimulation I could ever desire at the time, I wasn't pursuing the more important aspects of my life, like the development of my character through discipline, self awareness, and integrity to my conscience and God's word. I wasn't pursuing the development of my mind through education, academics, and the pursuit of wisdom in philosophy. I wasn't cultivating myself through artistic pursuit, or the development of mastery in any meaningful craft. I wasn't eating good, I wasn't sleeping properly, I wasn't exercising like I should have been, only to try and look good with my shirt off. All these things were compounding upon me and making me miserable, even though I had all the sexual gratification I could want. I was aimless, without goals and just constantly absorbing myself with entertainment and video games and junk like that and I was totally miserable.

    Sexuality has its place, it's good, in its proper context. It was meant to bring a man and a woman together in the closest of union, and it brings forth children to continue on after we leave this world through age, disease, accident etc. It brings a man and his wife together and creates a beautiful family nucleus of man, wife, and children. It brings so much joy and fulfillment to a man or woman's life in its proper context, but we get so delusional in what sex is for or even about, because of the depravity of our society around us, which cheapens, and distorts sexuality into this bizarre thing of being purely a biological need to disseminate genetics, or primarily for its pleasure and lust. If we have the wrong motives for wanting to quit PMO, if we think the desire for the super powers alone, or for transmutation of the sexual energy to the pursuit of other goals alone is going to be enough, I think we will inevitably fail, because the reason to stop won't be deep enough to overcome the desire for that pleasure when it really hits us hard in dark times.

    Life can be so much more than what most people ever actualize. We need to draw ourselves out of the matrix of entertainment, social media, and vanity in social status, rat racing behavior, pursuit of wealth and power that SO many people set their eyes on thinking they will find happiness in it. It's a lie man, it's all a fucking lie. Disconnect from the rat race and pursue meaningful goals to you, be yourself, don't conform to what you think people like, be who you were meant to be. Don't agree with people, or pretend to like things others like just to fit in. Be true to yourself and you'll be way happier for it. Pursue intrinsically valuable goals. A good name is rather to be desired than riches, have integrity. Pursue wisdom and understanding in philosophy and academics, pursue greatness in a craft, pursue being a good man. Live with integrity and don't sell your soul for some paycheque somewhere being a cog in a giant machine. Get out in nature, eat good food, meet amazing people who want to uplift others and have vision in their lives, surround yourself with positive people who want more out of life, go after goals that mean something to you, not for what they will bring socio economically, but for the satisfaction you get in their pursuit. Live with arete. If you're life is in a bad spot right now, don't wallow in self pity, change, be a man, take responsibility for your own destiny and do something about it. Who we are today is a result of the choices we made yesterday, but the good news is, through self awareness we have the power to change all that.
     
  11. Contentful T

    Contentful T Fapstronaut

    I think a study would be needed to come to such information. A user simply would not be able to do this on their own I would reckon.

    Edit: A success story does not guarantee future progress beyond it.
     
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