Oh you touch my tralala

This title is just to get your attention ; )

Hello,

I relapsed, but not regret it. I'm 3 years on NoFap, it really got my life back on legs. But this year, I can't even achieve 30 days. It's hard for me. I'm making aims like 3, 7, 14, 21 days. Every aim I got reward (like fast food, going to pub or whatever). Since... 3 months or so, I'm feeling really bad when I'm not looking on porn or not masturbate. It's weird for me. My mood is bad, everyone is saying that I'm complaining on everything. So I decided to fap for 2 days and see how it will look like after 3 years of trying sobriety.
My day was perfect. Everyone was kind and smiling towards me. I got easy day at work, fast visit in dentist office and this day maybe not was perfect, but 90% better than rest, when I'm not fapping.
I don't want to say that NoFap is bad - No! I've finally have enough courage to talk with strangers and be myself. But I got this like year ago. This year 2015 is like fighting a losing battle. I haven't even moved a little towards reboot. All achievements I got are fading away.
Does someone had similar situation? How to get from this?

Greetings!

 

I'm tired. Like I'm not having enough energy to continue to function normally. I'm sitting before PC, reading stuff and laugh like idiot.
But it's not that bad. I can motivate myself to do something, if it's really necessary. When I'm tired and need to do something that will get me more tired, I think that I will sleep deeper. That's all.
I still can make eye-contact, smile, have motivation and think positively. It's nothing like 3 or 2 years ago.

Maybe I will add something.
I never had girlfriend or had many female friends. I'm getting very well with other employees in my office and many workplaces. But I'm feeling lonely. Really.
For the first time I felt this 2 years ago, but I found girl to be in "fwb" relationship. This gave me some thoughts about sex, romance, relations and bonds between people. I stopped "using" her and quit it. I was on wedding on last weekend. Everyone had accompanying person, but not me. I was one (not only). I had fun dancing with many girls, but - when I saw them cuddling, kissing and talking with beautiful expressions I felt pain. I felt so lonely, I had to go to toilet, close door for 20 minutes and wait till this pain go away. Because of it, I left wedding quick. It was painful experience for me. This gave me idea to get back to fapping too.