OMG this is horrible

Maybe conduct a list of reasons of why you are doing this / what you hope to strive for.
Always keep fighting. I'll be in watching this page if you want to talk!

 

You have to want to quit - I mean you have to really want to quit, and to really want to have to quit you need a solid reason as to why.

What happens on that 3rd day when you finally give in? If its always day 3 that you relapse what are you doing to prevent it? Do you get bored? Frustrated? Angry? Who are you surrounding yourself with? Are you working? What is your diet like? Start picking your life a part and eliminating anything that isn't helping your reboot. You have to recruit habits that are going to make your reboot easier. Cut sugar out, get out of your house, reach out to friends/family. Start being tactical not just about your reboot but about your life!

At this point the goal should be to get to Day 4. Forget 90+ days, and aim for day 4. Once you hit Day 4 you know in yourself that you can recover fully and that it can be done.

Finally there is no such thing as a 'pathetic life'. You either have one or you don't. But the beautiful thing about life is that you can build your own. At mid-30s you are at the perfect age to work through this addiction and build the life that you have always wanted. You have to understand that PMO is simply the boulder that is in the way. Once you recover from PMO, you can honestly recover from anything. It does not get harder than this addiction - start imagining what life will be like once you get through this thing.

 

Hey man, I feel you. I just relapsed as well. Let's not give up the fight.

 

Just talk to yourself and ask yourself is it ok ?

 

You have to want to quit and then take actions to protect yourself. A lot of early recovery is problem-solving. If i do this, I’m likely to act out. What else can I do? What do I need to let go of in my life to make it harder for me to act out? To want to be clean from PMO is to be willing to give up things you think you need.