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on 19th Day of rebooting should I start having sex??

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by marcus_belbi, Aug 30, 2019.

  1. marcus_belbi

    marcus_belbi Fapstronaut

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    Hey,

    So I'm just gonna go on and chant a little bit about myself and how I feel after 19 days.
    It's like every problem that I've had before rebooting has been fixed and it's been only 19 days. I had close to scary depression, social anxiety , negative thoughts and many more issues.

    Now I am always happy and energetic all the time for no reason!
    Super energetic and social with people and enjoying it!
    Doing great with my studies ( I am a web developer who immigrated to the States and is looking for a web development Job ), So I have been managing my time perfectly and my studies are going great!
    I have become super observant as I don't need to pay attention and just know what's happening around me all the time.
    I am getting attention from a lot of girls.
    actually went out with a co-worker and got close to having sex but didn't actually even want to do it because I didn't want to lose this feeling.(So i am a PMO addict rather than a sex addict.) and I am getting attention from a lot of people at work who like me and even a co-worker which's been on and off with me but now she likes me so much again and giving me signals for I dunno what changed!

    Anyways my question now is how long should i wait till i can go back to having sex and not getting the chaser effect?

    P.S. note that the reason that i thing it is effecting me very good after 19 days is that I already done a reboot for 12 days then relapsed for 4 days before going back to reboot again and not only i learned that after 12 days the chaser effect was back but because of previous body recovery prolly my recovery went half way through so when i rebooted a second time after 4 days the recovery process was just easier.

    I would like to mention some notes that helped me to start having the recovery :

    1. studying the pamphlet that Nofap offers and learning more about my situation.
    2. paying attention to the fact and believing that these urges will someday go away and the first prolly week or so would be hard and the urges are not permanent!
    3. I have been writing my daily spending and summing it up every month on a notebook so I started putting a cross beside each date that i would go without PMO so by looking at the days that i went without fapping and even looking at the days before my relapses and knowing that i could come this far and going with many days without PMO not only it would keep me mindful and present it would make me proud realizing how far I've come.
    4. Have a goal for example after coming this far and being able to hold myself I now Have a goal to keep it going for 3 months and instead of thinking about how hard it is I only act and walk right now as if I am already done with 3 months and i feel proud every moment for it so (law of attraction works!) walk and act as if you've done it already and it will be done in no time!!!

    God bless Nofap community and I see a day where all of you who are reading this come and tell me that you were successful in no-PMO and are living your lives to the fullest!
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  2. Carbon Icon

    Carbon Icon Fapstronaut

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    Hey Marcus. Obviously sex can be a trigger leading back to PMO. Only you can decide if it is worth the risk at this point or not.

    How serious was your PMO addiction? If you are a well adjusted successful person who developed a bad PMO habit for a short time, perhaps you are ready to leave it behind for ever and move on with life. If you have a more serious addiction issue and/or have underlying trauma and pain to deal with, this could be a much longer term and complicated process. In either case I would hesitate to declare victory already at this early point.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  3. I would say go for it!

    In my experience, more sex = less porn for me (I'm married though, would always choose my wife over porn!)
     
  4. marcus_belbi

    marcus_belbi Fapstronaut

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    Well I have had it for prolly 15 years and it was serious as to i'd do it atleast once a day. But I know that I won't do it again if i don't want to.
    The only thing is that when ever I think about a specific scene on porn it is like it messes my brain up like yesterday i didn't even PMO but a thought of one of the porn scenes that I would M to passed my brain and it felt like it released a chemical in my brain and my brain's perfect functionality was down the toilet again without doing anything.
    And So my first Relapse after 12 days got back the chaser effect for me but this one so far I haven't given into.

    About the pain or trauma I honestly don't remember anything, I have just been doing it as long as I remember.

    But I can't stay like this forever I mean I have to start having sex eventually.
     
  5. marcus_belbi

    marcus_belbi Fapstronaut

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    Exactly! that would be the way for a person who's married and has sex available at all times.
    Not for a single dude whose dating somebody + relationships could end so I don't like relying on somebody and use them as an alternate to quitting PMO.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  6. Carbon Icon

    Carbon Icon Fapstronaut

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    Well, 15 years is a long time. I would say you have a long way to go in your recovery to make it a permanent lifestyle. Have you considered trying a 12 step program? I've started one and find it very helpful.

    As for sex, it's a risky move. It will be trigger for PMO but can also be a positive experience and relieve the sexual tension temporarily.
     
  7. marcus_belbi

    marcus_belbi Fapstronaut

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    12 step program?
    what is it?
     
  8. Carbon Icon

    Carbon Icon Fapstronaut

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  9. marcus_belbi

    marcus_belbi Fapstronaut

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    Carbon Icon likes this.

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