On Ch*stity Devices . . . and porn blockers

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by +TenPercent, Jun 16, 2022.

Are you in favor of using a chastity device to curb the M part of your (or your partners) addiction?

  1. Male / Addict - Yes. Or willing to if it would help my partner feel better.

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  2. Male / Addict - Nope. No way.

    5 vote(s)
    83.3%
  3. Female / SO - Yes. I can see how that would help and/or I would feel better if he wore one.

    1 vote(s)
    16.7%
  4. Female / SO - Nope. I disagree with this concept. See my comments in the thread.

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  1. Controversial subject, I know . . .

    There is much discussion on NoFap about porn blockers. Some people use them on their own to help themselves stay off porn. Others use this software to help rebuild trust in a relationship and it seems like many SO's are in favour of their SA partners using some type of porn blocker / accountability software.

    Now to the question of hardware . . . Chastity Devices. Won't stop a PA or SA from looking at porn, but it will stop them from masturbating and/or engaging in sexual activity with other people. This could help curb a masturbation addiction and give some assurance to the SO.

    Thoughts?

    I'd love to hear from men and women on this topic. Anyone currently using one? Who would be willing to give it a try if their partner was on board?


    My response - Yes. I would be willing to use a chastity device if my partner wished.

    Currently, I have gone nearly a year and a half without porn (watched one 5 minute video in that time) and have never used porn blocking software but I would be willing to if my partner insisted on it. Might even install such software myself if I fall back into the porn addiction. And, I have used a chastity device. I find it helps when craving to masturbate get really intense! So far it has been of my own volition. And I rarely wear it more than once a week. The darn thing can get really uncomfortable!! But . . . I would agree to wear one more often, and give my girlfriend the key, if she insisted on it.
     
  2. happenstance

    happenstance Fapstronaut

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    Our counselor while he did give us information on it wasn't exactly very enthusiastic about it. Essentially what he said about porn blockers and accountability software is that both are a bandaid placed over a severed artery. You'll continue to bleed to death because it isn't a fix. It doesn't address the problem. Only a symptom of it. You have to get to the root of the problem. I see a chastity device as one that does the same thing. If you want to try it go ahead and let us know how it works out for you. Personally I believe that it would be just another bandaid. Additionally I could imagine how the thought of wearing one would seem a bit subservient to a master for which she holds the reins. It could possibly be a prelude to sexual fantasy and I don't think that's such a good idea for anyone who is experiencing sex addiction. Just my thoughts on the matter for what that is worth.
     
    +TenPercent likes this.
  3. Trobone

    Trobone Fapstronaut

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    You've written enough comments for me to guess that you like the idea of being locked up, so being in a device would be like real life porn to you. Also, it solves nothing in the long run as you're not even white knuckling it, you're a step below.

    in other words, no it's not a solution.
     
    Meshuga and Psalm27:1my light like this.
  4. ANewFocus

    ANewFocus Fapstronaut

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    What is the root of the problem?
     
  5. happenstance

    happenstance Fapstronaut

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    It is an internal wound.
     
  6. Meshuga

    Meshuga Fapstronaut

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    Porn blockers can help with impulse. For me, fantasy is the problem and it’s not like I can use a mind blocker. I do have ideas to think about instead of erotic fantasy whenever they crop up, which is kind of a blocker, but not exactly.

    I’m with @Trobone . A physical device sounds less like a quitting aid or peace of mind thing, and more like fetish behavior. That’s completely different from software on your device, so it’s a soft “yes” on blockers and a hard “no” on “chastity” devices.

    It’s basically different for everyone. Somehow, S/P/a specific fetish comes to represent something else that fills a deep need. Your sexual development is hijacked, your brain gets confused and thinks of P as filling that need. You can’t really break your addiction until you disabuse yourself of the deception that P is meeting your need, and also figure out what that need is and get it met in a healthy, normal way.

    It’s like a combo of caffeine and sugar. You use it for energy. You think you need it and you sort of do, because if you simply quit you’ll be a human slug. You have to teach yourself about what sugar abuse does to your body, learn it’s not the only way, and replace it with greens, proteins, carbs, actual food.

    On one level, P gives you dopamine and you absolutely need dopamine. If you don’t replace the cheap, easy, excessive, on-demand dopamine from P Roth something like exercise or meditation or whatever makes you happy, you’re pretty much guaranteed to struggle and frequently fail. But it’s not just dopamine. There’s usually some kind of psychological dependence. PMO is self-soothing, self-medication, and you have to figure out for yourself what it’s medicating for.
     
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