On day 10

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by rah2790, Sep 13, 2019.

  1. rah2790

    rah2790 Fapstronaut

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    I've posted a few times in other places, but realized that I never came here to introduce myself.
    I'm 34, married, with 3 kids. My PA didnt start until my mid 20s, after me and my wife had our first kid. I had of course seen porn and had M in past, but it was sporadic, and never really a problem. After our first kid my wifes sex drive went down, life got in the way, and I turned to PMO to fill the gap. Fast foward 8 or 9 years, two more kids later. P had by this point basically made me sex crazy, leading to fights with my wife about her not wanting sex. This turned out to be a good thing for a couple reasons. First, it led to multiple really good conversations with her about our sex life and how we both wanted more out of it. She got off birth control (I've had a vasectomy), which definitely helped her libido, I spend more time making her feel like I want her, putting her in the mood, stuff like that. Second, it made me take an honest look at what PMO was doing to me. It turned my wife, my bestfriend and soulmate, the love of my life, in to little more then a sex object. I became obsessed with it. I started seeing signs that it was harder for me to keep erect during sex, and that death grip had stolen a good amount of my sensitivity, making sex barely feel good at all. So a few months ago I came to this page and joined, but didnt share or post at all. I tried to white knuckle it alone. That didnt work, I went a week or two at a time, would start to see positive results then just quit. I realized that I may need the help that this community brings to really make it thru. As it sits I'm on my 10th day, and am already seeing some results. Yesterday was the first time me and my wife had sex since I started this current streak, and my erection was definitely better, and I could already feel more down there during it. I dont want to go back which is why I'm here. Lastly, my wife never really minded me watching porn or M. She doesn't feel betrayed or anything like that. We have a really solid marriage, so she pretty much knows everything. I just told her I'm gonna stop PMO cause its messing with my brain, and my ability to function down there, and she said go for it, sounds like a good thing. Sorry for the long post, hope you all have a good day. Any advise any of you long time guys have I'm all ears.
     
  2. Tiger uppercut!

    Tiger uppercut! Moderator Assistant
    Staff Member Moderator Assistant

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    My Journal
    Hello and welcome! :)

    We are glad to have you as a part of our community. Here are some quick links to get you started.

    Getting Started Guide | How to Use the NoFap Forums | Panic Button | Day Counter | Rebooting Resources | Forum Rules | Glossary

    If you wish to keep a journal of your progress you can do so in the appropriate section found here

    You can also take part in one of the many challenges available. It can be a tremendous help. Challenges

    Also, there are groups you can also join if you wish to do so. You can browse through them here. Groups

    There are plenty of wonderful, friendly and knowledgeable people here to help you along on your journey to a life free of PMO. I wish you nothing but the best!
     
    rafael33 likes this.
  3. rafael33

    rafael33 Fapstronaut

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    Welcome to the Nofap community.
    The NO PM journey is not easy but worth the effort.
    The community will support you.

    Maybe you want to make some commitment - not to the community but to yourself.
     
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  4. rah2790

    rah2790 Fapstronaut

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    What do you mean by commitment? Like a time frame?
     
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  5. rafael33

    rafael33 Fapstronaut

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    Exactly. Sometimes it’s helpful to set a goal, like 14-days or 90-days-streak.
     
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  6. rah2790

    rah2790 Fapstronaut

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    I may give that a shot...I'm just scared if I do that instead of just saying I'm done with PMO I'll just be watching the days until I can do it again.
     
    Coffee Candy likes this.
  7. runner0424

    runner0424 Fapstronaut

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    Great job!! Our stories are similar on age, married, and same amount of kids. I dealt with porn before marriage. I’m on day 9 and had gone 6 months before that. Keep up good work!
     
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  8. rah2790

    rah2790 Fapstronaut

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    Good work on the 9 days brother...I think what has helped me is I didnt start until my mid 20s...so wasnt doing all that fo a still developing brain. Or that might not matter at all, I'm not a doctor lol. Thanks for the nice words, and keep it up
     
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  9. twistedshadows23

    twistedshadows23 Fapstronaut

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    Yea theres some wisdom to that mindset man. You don't have to set a timeframe.
     
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  10. rah2790

    rah2790 Fapstronaut

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    I've tried a time frame before...and what I said is exactly what happened...I waited my two weeks then bam...go on a binge
     
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  11. runner0424

    runner0424 Fapstronaut

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    Yea, the whole timeframe might be wrong mindset. Maybe just think of it as completely change of lifestyle. Good thoughts.
     
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  12. runner0424

    runner0424 Fapstronaut

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    I also think what has helped me is to try to eliminate all triggers. I have been reading a lot in Bible and listening to sermons. Running has also helped me.
     
  13. rah2790

    rah2790 Fapstronaut

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    As a Christian this as helped me as well
     
    Coffee Candy likes this.
  14. Coffee Candy

    Coffee Candy Moderator Assistant Staff Member Moderator Assistant

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    Heyyy welcome to the NoFap forum : ) It's nice to see you here fighting the good fight alongside us!

    Here is just some advice:

    First and foremost please take a look at each section in the forum, there might be something(s) you may find of big help to you. Feel free to post there :+)

    Then secondly I just strongly advise you to be active on your profile(as there quite a few active people in the profile section). Please start by choosing an avatar and then make daily status posts to show you're active and needing support/encouragement. They've also got a neat little feature that shows freshly posted statuses for all users to see. People will find your profile and give you encouragement/support.

    People (are beginning to) love communicating in the profile section..(it should be and is )mostly spportive talk but it doesn't hurt to deviate from supportive talk. It would be great to have you join in and support others in the threads, profiles, and journal, we could always use your help and in return you shall receive some as well!

    Thirdly, You should also highly consider creating a public journal and write about your days in more depth for us members to follow along your journey and offer support to you by way of posting in your journal.

    Last but not least: Good luck on your journey here, make sure to really give it a try with all your heart!
     

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