On Day Four...Again

When I first started NoFap, I went 111 days without masturbating/"edging" and porn (from Monday, 20 October 2014 - Sunday, 8 February 2015).

Since then, I have been relapsing – relapse after relapse and guilt after guilt – but now I am on Day 4 (I started on Wednesday, 8 April 2015). One thing I realised I have a "problem" with is that if I get an urge to masturbate and watch porn (for me masturbation is the bigger problem because they're both linked in a way), and I successfully get rid of the urge, after time passes by, I will then feel guilty that I had an urge to M and P and then I'd be really bothered. In the past, that type of thinking has led to my relapse and the problem is not the urge but the negative thoughts after of, "I have broken my streak because I had an urge to M and P. You've now broken your streak," which would be my thought after and then I'd end up really guilty. It's really silly but I just can't help but be paranoid. For example, in the middle of the night while I was trying to sleep my balls were irritating me so I had to scratch them so when I woke up I thought, "Right. You broke your streak because you scratched your balls," even though I didn't scratch them for pleasure or whatever. They only come mentally (in my mind), it's not as if I am actually physically masturbating or watching porn so why do I see the need to worry too much?

How do you suggest that I go about without the worry?

 

BTW, as a result of them annoying thougts, during the past I couldn't even go past one week without M or P all because of these annoying, stupid thoughts of, "I broke my streak" when I never (it's just mentally me thinking like that).

 

Thank you, EJ_7.