On decisiveness and life

[Deleted Account]

TL : DR: I wish I was more decisive.
Often I like to imagine myself as a fully engaged person. I'm wishing to be a man of Astronomy or a Musician, Hiker or an engineer, but I have a tendency to only test the water, never really diving hard into one topic.
I'm an INFP and we are known for our rich inner imagination but also for our lack of practical practice. My sister told me that she's think I'm a man who happy to be in the middle of everything, but I don't think this is true. It's like the times you wish to be at vacation while work but on vacation you feel guilty for not working hard enough. You are always frustrated no matter where you are standing.
I know I can choose what I love but I feel that if I'll learn about science and stuff I'll feel like an imposter (yes I'm familiar with the imposter syndrome).
Any tips on that?

 

[R2DToy]

I never heard of the imposter syndrome, so I just now looked it up and read some articles. It's almost obvious this is what holds you back.

I'm in the same boat, I started many, many projects on different subjects but rarely do I stick around with a topic and if I do I create short projects that are rarely finished. I feel like I could do almost anything - provided I am interested in that subject - and the things I try I succeed at.

Yet, I have a severe shortage of self-confidence, at least when it comes to social situations, so work/career wise this has become a serious issue.

I forgot where I'm heading with this, I guess I just wanted to tell you that I feel you.

Anyway, the guilt when on vacation example is familiar to me as well, I feel guilty when I don't work on my projects/ambitions. Why? Because I KNOW I could do and have so much more in life. I'm living the exact opposite life of my potential, all because of insecurity. You will start avoiding situations and hence oppertunities, increasingly tangling you into a web you're dying to get out off. This paralyzes you, and eventually you start losing hope and get frustrated.

I've come a long way recovering mentally from stuff that happened in my life, I'm still not there, I wonder if these issues will EVER be fixed, and thinking about that hurts inside. It's essential we get professional help. We need to admit that we (still) have issues and try to overcome them. But hey, I wish us good luck, being an adult is tough enough, you have to provide for yourself, ALL your needs, no one is caring is for us anymore. When you have a mental burden on top of that, it's extra difficult to live up to our full potential.


As for decisiveness.. Instead of looking deep into our heart and choose to do what we REALLY want to do, we are constantly looking at other people's 'achievements', thinking 'I want to do that as well', especially if you feel like you could actually achieve it as well. And then there's adult life.. bills, all kinds of relationships, bad luck, it's everyone for himself out there.

With that adult life thing, what I'm saying is you get stuck in that treadmill and are - at least in my case - looking for the fasted way out. Everytime you don't get results fast enough you move onto the next thing. Especially if you do work way below your capabilities, work can become extremely tiring and it just absorbs the life out of you.

So patience and focus is key. I heard someone say you need to create a routine. Work on something, if only for 10 minutes steadily every day. Got more energy, work more. Low energy, 10 minutes. It's about building a recurring pattern that will keep you focussed. My dad used to say that if you want to succeed you need to keep going. As bland as it sounds, it's vital to keep going at it. I'm currently trying to incorporate that 'recurring pattern' into my life.

 

[Deleted Account]

@R2DToy Thanks for sharing friend. Adulthood is really challenging. Especially at the beginning.

 

[Deleted Account]

TL : DR: I wish I was more decisive.
Often I like to imagine myself as a fully engaged person. I'm wishing to be a man of Astronomy or a Musician, Hiker or an engineer, but I have a tendency to only test the water, never really diving hard into one topic.
I'm an INFP and we are known for our rich inner imagination but also for our lack of practical practice. My sister told me that she's think I'm a man who happy to be in the middle of everything, but I don't think this is true. It's like the times you wish to be at vacation while work but on vacation you feel guilty for not working hard enough. You are always frustrated no matter where you are standing.
I know I can choose what I love but I feel that if I'll learn about science and stuff I'll feel like an imposter (yes I'm familiar with the imposter syndrome).
Any tips on that?

Design telescopes as a profession, take up music as a hobby, and once a year take a week to visit a national park.