On nofap over two years, lonliness is killing me.

498 days is a great streak. Congrats!! Sorry to hear about the loneliness. Is there some group you can join? I write short stories so I am in an online forum of writers. That helps with loneliness at times. I used to go to gym and doing cardio in group also felt good.

 

Girls aren't the fix for loneliness, COMMUNITY is. Unfortunately online isn't a completely substitute, and the truth is there is less community in a lot of places in the world now. That just means it's the REAL challenge though, beyond just logging abstinent time.

Still, if you got numbers from 20 girls you can apply that effort and degree of social skill to building friendships within the context of community. But that is just the beginning, although with that track record you are set up for a better beginning than many. There is more depth to community that you cannot replace with any individual, even the context of sexual partnership is limited.

 

Community and being around those that care and love you in the cure for loneliness. Being okay alone will create space for someone to love you.

 

Almost 500 days is huge. It is winter at your place I assume? Winter depression is a thing. Dont focus too much on getting a girl first. What can you do to make your life better for your own sake? I have a lot of suggestions but choose whatever fits your style.

- Go outside and look at the stars for 10 minutes every night.

- Take yourself to the movies

- Take yourself to a nice restaurant

-Visit a Spa

- Hit the gym

-Meditate

-Read an inspiring book (think and grow rich, the compound effect, power of now)

- Watch motivational movies on youtube

-Pick up some hobbies like martial arts, dancing, chess, hiking

 

The problem it seems you have is 'self loathing'. Of course you're not gonna find a girl if you dont even value yourself. How do you expect her to?
Get rid of this 'self loathing' nonsense. Appreciate who you are, respect yourself, be proud, stand tall.
You're looking towards the outside (the girl) for the answers. It doesn't work that way. The movies tell you this but it's all lies.
The transformation must come first, otherwise every relationship is doomed to fail.
You say you've fixed your shortcomings but have you? What about the self-deprecating one?

 

Hang in there. Can you look for productive ways to channel your sexual energies like bodybuilding, sports music, etc.? Look to Jesus. He is the best counselor and therapist. Give your heart to Him. It wont be an overnight process, as I can attest to, being a man with issues like porn, and loneliness, but seeking God will give you hope.

 

my name is Andrew and I'm an addict. Today is day 2481 not having to use any form of pornography or give in to any form of sex with partners other than my spouse among other things, not having to pm+.
It sounds like you hit the wall, in my book that's good as long as someone is around to tell you there is a solution. Scientific evidence shows hopelessness can kill but it's also the best start an addict like me can have and it sounds like you're like me because I've felt similar. Early on I felt like not acting out sucked, the way it makes most sense to me to say in retrospect is " my life was a wasteland and sex was the bright spot in it. If you take away the sex I am left living in a worse wasteland.". That's how I felt years ago, but it assumes "take away" when no one is trying to take things away from me they don't give a shit if I ruin my own life with selfishness about sex only if it impacts theirs and my addiction never did. That's an oversimplification but it's much easier than getting into all the nuances of how I affected others, another way to say a similar thing is I never had consequences or got found out.
Fact is sex feels good, and it's not obvious to us for a very long time that selfishness does not so if you mix the two it can take years to track down and diagnose. But I know hitting the wall when I see it, the trick is to rather than just remove things that seem problematic from life to find a substitute. People immediately think that means get a hobby, if that works for anyone here great but I like sex better than any hobby, I mean a substitute that is good enough to replace all the pm+ i used to do I can say that it is possible, I've been happier every year of the last six, not every day but definitely every year and even every month, maybe even every week. There's a way to do it happily, to even be happy about it, and it sounds from a hint in your op that you might have tried it or thought you tried it. I know a lot of people who have tried but not really dive in, and I don't mean this site, and it doesn't work halfway. We're between Scylla and charybdis, walking the razors edge. If we go with always wanting more we'll slowly feel more and more dead inside, and if we just say no through self will we'll slowly feel more and more like ending the struggle, tapping out. But there is a way between the two. I needed a mentor to show me because I didn't see a way it looked blocked. A big part of the joy of my life is a direct result of asking for instruction and then doing it even when I really don't want to, that has a built in antidote to pride . And that process of doing what I'm told, which I always hated all my life I was very willful and rebellious, also has a built in antidote to loneliness: I'm following someone who has already been down the same path.

 

500 days is a powerful streak. Don't you dare give in to loneliness. The emotional pain you'll experience after pmo will be far worse than loneliness because you'll say you lost your streak for nothing.

Love is hard to find and it just takes time and effort. When times like this happen try to see friends and family or a therapist. Focus on social hobbies or activities a couple times per week until your loneliness subsides and you can put more effort into direct dating and face any rejection healthily.

500 days inspires me. Keep going.