On the question of marveling at the female physique

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by hopefullynotfappin, Jun 16, 2015.

  1. hopefullynotfappin

    hopefullynotfappin Fapstronaut

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    Since P had never truly been a daily thing for me, although describing it as weekly or biweekly over the last couple years would be accurate, I usually have rather good control over whether or not my thoughts are of a sexual nature when looking at a girl or a picture thereof. Like all other heterosexual guys however, I still find the female physique, especially the face of an attractive woman, a beautiful thing to behold. My question is, if thoughts remain nonsexual, is it ever a bad thing (feel free to elaborate on personal definitions of "bad") to admire such beauty? Cause it seems no worse than, say, marveling at a Lamborghini, or taking in the magnificence of the Grand Canyon, except that it appeals to a much more forceful and base attraction.

    [EDIT:] Upon rereading the above, I noticed how the last sentence was worded. The problem usually encountered when admiring women is objectification, and by the comparisons made it would certainly seem like that's what I do. I think in a way it might be true, sometimes I allow myself to get lost in admiration of a certain person's physical beauty, but it doesn't seem like this should be an inherently bad thing. However, I wanted to clarify that I don't view women as impersonal objects such as cars or land formations. In fact I often actively wonder what they're like as a person, especially if I have some romantic interest in them.
     
    Last edited: Jun 16, 2015
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  2. Knight Solaire

    Knight Solaire Fapstronaut

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    One of the goals of the Nofap challenge is to stop objectifying women. It's actually kind of unclear whether you are objectifying or not to me. You do not mention ogling their "parts" for a sexual nature, nor do you make it sound like you want to fuck every walking female.

    I would make the assumption that it seems like as long as you do not ogle and think sexual thoughts about these women you may be on the right track. Just keep it above the shoulders buddy. Anything that you would be looking at below that is ogling and objectifying.
     
    Last edited: Jun 16, 2015
  3. hopefullynotfappin

    hopefullynotfappin Fapstronaut

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    My thoughts exactly.
     
  4. Limeaid

    Limeaid Guest

    Admiring beauty is the best part of life! I am a woman and I don't see anything wrong with thinking a woman is beautiful or admiring a face. Objectification comes in when we debase a person as a tool for sexual gratification in our minds or stare and make the other person uncomfortable.
     
  5. Congrelous

    Congrelous Fapstronaut

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    I believe the sexual energy is the currency of the universe itself. There is a sexual component to beauty, even to cognition and perception.

    In the simplest terms - magnetism, attraction and repulsion.

    I think the difference between healthy and unhealthy appreciation of the female body is the extremity of clinging.

    Compulsive masturbation is an example of this. Degradation of your own inherent beauty as an object perceived by others, in the illusory pursuit of the "other" inherent beauty of an object perceived.

    Everything in reality strives to seek balance, and given free will, we have the freedom to push ourselves out of balance if we are ignorant of this law.
     
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  6. Limeaid

    Limeaid Guest

    It is interesting that you say admiring a woman like you would a car (although you did clarify which I appreciate) They use women a LOT for this reason. They use female beauty to sell many many things. There isn't a more valued commodity than a beautiful woman. This is pure objectification though. Using her as an object devoid of humanity to be gawked at like in a zoo!
     
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  7. Congrelous

    Congrelous Fapstronaut

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    It's just nature. As the most recent YBOP video states, monkeys will trade bananas for images of female monkey bottoms.

    :leshrug:

    The only thing that separates us from animal consciousness is knowledge.
     
  8. MattRN

    MattRN Fapstronaut

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    I believe this is a healthy response.
    We as men are suppose to notice women. Just not objectify them.
     
  9. Icyweb

    Icyweb Fapstronaut

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    It's a tricky line to walk. I would say above the shoulders is fine, but below that would need to be taken on a case by case basis. I can unintentionally look at a woman's stomach or legs, but if I focus on them, even with the intent to appreciate her beauty purely, I start to lust.
    And I would avoid looking up pictures to admire. If you see one, enjoy it for a second, and then go about your life. Otherwise you will slowly slide back into porn.
    I would really only suggest admiring above the shoulders though. It's just too easy to slip. A good way of determining what's too far, is ask yourself how you would feel if someone was looking at your daughter, sister, or mother that way. If your reaction is anything less than perfectly okay with it, you need to stop looking.
    You can stare at the grand canyon or a nice car for a long time in anyway you like, because there is no temptation to lust after it, (at least I don't think there is) with women, you need to be the boss of your own eyes, and direct them where they belong.
     
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  10. MattRN

    MattRN Fapstronaut

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    The momentary look and acknowledgement I do not feel is bad. Even the second of lust is normal. It is when we go beyond this that it starts to become a problem.
     
  11. hopefullynotfappin

    hopefullynotfappin Fapstronaut

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    Well what's normal is irrelevant. It's normal to masturbate daily.
     
  12. ds112358

    ds112358 Fapstronaut

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    Female (or male) beauty is something that attracts us, and in an ideal world, it is seen for what it really is. But think about it, when you look at a beautiful woman, and focus on her body, what are you really doing? Are you defining that woman by her body and her body only? People may think it is ok to do this, but it isn't. A woman (or any human being) is more than just the sum of her body parts. Her body is part of who she is. Her personality, her lifestyle, her thinking. Just like all of us, she has her own achievements, her own regrets, her own insecurities, her own feelings. The physical body is just an external glimpse at her true self. Yes, she may be beautiful, but this fact must be seen as part of the rest of her identity. If not, then it is simply called objectification.

    Also, someone once said that when you ogle at someone, you are taking something from them and giving nothing back.

    That's all from me.

    DS.
     

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