on the verge of relapse...need help

Brother, the key to any battle is preparation, and beating an addiction, especially one as accessible as Porn/Masturbation requires much, much, much, and much preparation. What I mean is you need to prepare yourself with mental, physical, social, and emotional tools to beat this thing. Brother this not a heroin addiction where you have to get up go get your drug, prepare it, etc. This is not alcohol, where you have to go buy it. This is not fast food where you have to get in your car and drive to get it. Porn/Masturbation is right Fucking there in front of you 24/7...... It is so easy to get to and use. Knowing this, you have to prepare the resources you need to beat this thing 20 times a day if you have to. What I mean is there might be 2 times a day when you need your tools to beat this thing, there might be 20 times a day when you need them; but you need them with you at all times!

Prepare your resources. They can be as easy as getting up and removing yourself from the immediate environment; go have a glass of water, a coke, then tell yourself, I just walked away from the urge, how do I feel, what's my next move. That's a win, even if it's just for a quick 2 minutes, you have removed yourself from the "urge environment"...... Tools can be anything, go outside look at the sky, the sun, moon, stars, and ask yourself, I just moved away from the urge, what's my next move. I have read the power of prayer has helped many addicts get through addiction urges. They just asked to their higher power, why, why am I doing this to myself; why do I let the sensation of a quick high just totally fuck up and ruin my life to the point I don't think it's worth living. And brother I speak from experience. Many times I have told myself the same thing and at my lowest points even thought of acting out on it. But you must understand that you have a problem, and it's just not a problem, you are in a fight for your soul. A fight to be a man. Prepare yourself with tools. Make a list of the tools you will need to help you fight the urges and the urge environment. Brother again, you might have to use those tools 5,15,20, times a day; but you know what, when you add them all up, daily, weekly, and HOPEFULLY monthly, that's how winning is done. Piece by piece.

 

Go outside, look at the stars, and tell yourself I just walked away from an urge. Go have a drink of water a coke, juice, I just walked away from an urge. Throw cold water on yourself and say I just walked away from an urge. Come on this board just to write and say I just walked away from an urge. Go talk to anybody in any room if they are there, just stand there with them if you have to, sit there with them, and tell yourself I just walked away from an urge. Brother the tools are mundane and boring, but they are vital when beating this addiction on your own when there is nobody around, cause that's when we masturbate to porn, when there's nobody around....... Make a list of these tools, use them when the urges strike and you are in an urge environment. I can't stress the importance of being prepared to battle the urges that can get the best of you if you are not prepared.