Once again I caught my husband masterbating to pornography. He had live cam footage of a couple having sex from two different angles on two different computer screens up ans had just finished himself off. He is a monster addict at this point. I am pretty sure I can no longer stay in this marriage with him. I have asked him to go to counseling and this time he has agreed to. I will have to see if he has any fallow through on it, but I am unsure if it will make a difference. He doesn’t see anything wrong with what he does . He doesn’t view it as wrong. Watching pornographic content and masterbating 2-4 times a day is excessive and addictive behavior he doesn’t acknowledge having. I no longer trust him at all in anyway. How can I be married to a man I no longer trust. He has lied so much hiding his behavior, gaslighting me to a degree and that is abhorrent behavior. I felt part of the love I have for him fall away when I caught him AGAIN. I would rather be poor and alone than stay in this marriage simply because I can’t afford to leave with out loosing a large portion to the quality of my life. That is what people do to you. They trick you in to seeing them for someone they are not and make you love them and invest in them and your life with them. They get you to a point that you can’t get out easily. To a point where you love them so much you emotionally feel like you can’t walk away. Suck you in and then pound your heart to DUST with selfish hurtful behavior. Singular thoughts in themselves and their needs or wants and fuck whoever is in their way. I just want out.