Once an addict....always?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Mr. McMarty, Jun 2, 2019.

  1. Once an addict....always? So I have been on a ten day no PMO and feel good. But I am aware of my triggers: Tv shows, smoking, drinking, some music. I have Godly friends who seem to have no problem watching the latest trash on TV drinking and smoking (we are reformed) Will I always have to be hyper-vigilant and will I always be tempted to use porn?
     
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  2. Depends on how long you have been a user of PMO and how frequently, I think. After being a frequent user for 25 years, I am six years into active recovery and still very vigilant (mindful of it every day). I am not actively tempted most days, but there are occasions when temptation arises -- and I know if I give it free rein in my mind it will soon reign in my mind. Just my own experience, though. I am sure yours will be somewhat different.

    It's not a sprint. It's a marathon! We are in it for the long haul. Glad to be on the path with you.
     
  3. I've used hard porn all my life. I think keeping my self from sin and temptation will be more real in my world than others. Glory to God
     
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  4. llortaton

    llortaton Fapstronaut

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    Been doing PMO for the past 9 months.
    Doing twice a week, normally.


    I don't believe that I'am highly addicted, it's just that my low self esteem is causing me to fail, and overthinking.



    I'm probably the person who has been doing PMO for least amount of time. And least often than others.


    Anyways, IM GOING TO QUIT!
     
  5. llortaton

    llortaton Fapstronaut

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    Hi, Tao.

    I just finished my first week, which was easy. I relapsed yesterday.

    Not because I'm addicted, but just because I got bored.
     
  6. Sounds like you need to develop a hobby. Especially with school out for the summer. And whatever your sources are for P, consider eliminating them 100%, whatever it takes.

    I continue to follow your story with interest. I have a feeling that an everyday greatness lies ahead for you, and I am curious to see when you will step into it. I hope you will not wait too long to stop idling with the folly of children and truly begin to *live*.
     
  7. llortaton

    llortaton Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, Tao. I haven't been addicted for long, but the only reason I PMO, is because I let it define who I'am. My whole personality, and my whole self image, my whole self esteem has completely changed from it.


    I let it define me. :(
     
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  8. your not alone brother
     
  9. I don't think it defines you, but it doesn't matter what I think, of course. It's what you think about yourself that will decide what you do and don't do. I have it on pretty good authority that you are very well thought of in certain quarters. I hope you will find your way through to seeing that for yourself, as well. It does make a difference.
     
    Lostneverland likes this.
  10. YES YOU ARE :)
     
  11. I think it depends on the person. For me, after about a week of being on a streak, the urges tend to start to fade a bit. That doesn't mean you shouldn't be vigilant though! Because you know what, it's during those times that strong urges can hit when you least expect it, and if you aren't ready for it, it can cause you to relapse very easily. In fact, that's the whole reason I'm here. I've relapsed one too many times that exact way, and decided I needed something a little more 'heavy-duty', if you will.

    So, just keep that in mind. Obviously, please do go out and live your life. Don't spend every waking minute obsessing about PMO, it's not going to work. The best thing to do is develop hobbies and other things to do that will distract you.
     
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  12. Kiz Whalifa

    Kiz Whalifa Fapstronaut

    No, the hypervigilance tends to dwindle into aloofness and ennui.
     
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  13. :emoji_confounded:
     
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  14. llortaton

    llortaton Fapstronaut

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    Yes, thank you sir Tao. I really do appreciate it.

    I've gotten to 7 days. My next goal is 20.
     
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  15. Awedouble

    Awedouble Fapstronaut

    I would say no, certainly that doesn't have to be the case.

    From my perspective impermanence is key just as a fact of life. Granted for some it may be no more than a day of abstinence, but even that duration is impermanent and may increase.

    But of course we're interested in a permanence of recovery. As a condition it is possible, so even if it is a condition that has to be actively maintained somehow and not just passively occur with no intervention. This gets into the point about hypervigilance. I think we need to make a distinction between aware and hypervigilant. It is possible to see the possibility of triggers a mile away, as a general possibility without the anxiety and exhaustion from the energy expenditure. Simply put .. you just don't go down that road so you don't have to like watch your back knowing it's a bad neighborhood.
     
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  16. Tryingto

    Tryingto Fapstronaut

    While of course this situation will vary from person to person, in my experience once a person has gone far enough down the rabbit hole to appropriately consider themselves addicted - 'far enough' perhaps defined as repeated engagement with this behaviour in spite of the substantial harm it causes in one's life - then yes, more often than not it is a lifelong malady requiring lifelong attention.

    I have resisted this sense for a very long time, but having looked at my own history with this addiction - even after long periods of strong sobriety, for instance, it seems to lay waiting for any chance to reignite - and having had numerous long-term sober folks tell me, 'It's always there', I am afraid the writing is on the wall. Yes, once an addict always an addict. But there is, remember, a very big difference between an active addict and a recovering one...
     
  17. diep

    diep Fapstronaut

    When you are sober for more than 90 days, urge can be easier to resist. I still experience temptation in my mind but the grip of it has less power than it used to be. You certainly have more freedom to choose but remember never to let your mind go to the dark side of porn.
     
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