Still do kind of. So much so I can't even write out all the details of my issue. The shame is so powerful I can't be entirely forthright with you here anonymously. I think I could admit it all to a therapist but I have no plans on seeing one. I mean I have admitted it before to one and it made me cry. She didn't respond as nearly as bad I guess as I was thinking she might have or maybe not or I would not have told her those details. I am being filled with more hope today. Also humility but not in a toxic shame sort of sense just like less focus on whether or not I matter more than the person next to me anywhere in life.