You can find the reason this all started. When I was a kid, I didn't have many friends. I had a few close ones, but after a while, they moved away. Sure, I found new friends here and there, but I stopped planning things with my friends. I stopped going out as much and started feeling alone. This is not where my addiction started, but it is why it continued. I use pornography to escape my feelings of loneliness, pain, depression, anxiety, etc. The only way to get better is to face my fears and make new friends, pursue sports and hobbies, and take much needed time away from the computer (other than work). I'm going to try again a different way, holy sh*t this is difficult.