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One month into NoFap: my findings

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Orgone5, Apr 2, 2023.

  1. Orgone5

    Orgone5 Fapstronaut

    I did well for nearly a month, removing P altogether and reducing M by 1/10 of what used to be my routine, then I relapsed. I'll begin again, but meanwhile here are my findings:
    1. P, and all that's associated (sexting, fantasies, imagery etc.), is the big issue here. It's the real enemy, it poisons your mind and turns you into an ugly version of yourself. It's debatable whether M and O should be eliminated, reduced, transmuted, practiced mindfully etc., but P is just dangerous rubbish and should be eliminated altogether. There is no "it's just this one time" with P, unfortunately
    2. M as an addiction works because it covers unconforable feelings, i.e. anxiety, anger etc. As with any other addiction, when you get rid of it you seriously risk to replace it with another addiction. I did very well in terms of M the first 20 days, but started smoking every day instead than once a week, and when I cut off smoking I relapsed. So PMO should be seen as an element in an eco-system of addictions: it's better to abstain from PMO and all other addictions for 2 days than abstaining from PMO for a month and develop other addictions
    3. As with any other addiction, the only way to successfully eliminate PMO from your life is replace it with healthy habits. The problem, for me, is that healthy habits are also hard work, and althogh the hard work pays and it's worthwhile in the end, what you really miss from PMO is the sense of discharge, of losing yourself completely and releasing the tension. It's the Jack Torrence problem: "All work and no play" etc. Finding ways to dissipate that energy without relapsing has been hard for me: physical exercise does it in part, but sometimes I'm just too tired to go running for 5 miles. I do a lot of meditation and yoga but, again, there's no releasing of tension there. Obviously the solution would be to get to a point where you don't need the discharge of energy, or where you are so good at transmuting it that you can use it for something else, but that takes a lot of experience and skills and many people relapse before they can actually reach that point
    4. Obviously, you should always look at the root of your addiction with therapy, counselling or similar. I've been in therapy most of my adult life and it's been life-changing, but I know that changes take a very long time and breakthroughs are inconsistent, so while it's all worth it in the long run, you also need day-to-day strategies to avoid relapsing
    5. Having said that, don't worry if you relapse. Relapsing is not the real problem, and even binging (although it should be avoided when possible) is ok: it just makes it harder to restart, but sometimes it's actually better to reach the end of the pit and bounce back rather than trying to control the fall for weeks. It's the same as meditation: when you relaps, when you are lost in thought, just notice it and begin again. The problem isn't really relapsing, and I suspect that especially at the beginning relapsing is unavoidable: it's being aware of it, distancing yourself from the automatism. Just acknlowledge honestly that you have relapsed and begin again. Remember: you never go back to square one.
    Last edited: Apr 2, 2023
    BookNerd42, Tonytone and Abel100% like this.
  2. Abel100%

    Abel100% Fapstronaut

    Buen aporte...creo que la sustitución de pmo por otras adicciones es prueba de lo fuerte y difícil que es este mal hábito, Sigamos añadiendo Buenos hábitos , aunque sean pequeños, pero al final todo suma .....

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