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One of many - looking for the way out of this hell

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by songohu33, May 21, 2019.

  1. songohu33

    songohu33 Fapstronaut

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    I'm 33, married.
    Stuck in PMO for around 23 years.
    I don't really know my energy potential. What could I do if only I could channel all energy... yes it's a big IF.
    It started with old porn on VHS - I call it softcore now. Watching porn and masturbation became my way to relax after stressful day. Though I don't actually do anyhing stressfull. It escalated to more and more hardcore stuff. I didn't miss sissy stuff as well. Unfortunatelly some fantasies I tried for real with a man. After getting married I stopped all extramarital encounters hopefully forever. But it's a fire that I can not stop. Fantasies keep coming back and I do it solo. The more I abstain from PMO the stronger is my desire to porn my life. Six full days streak is quite an achievement for me. Regular masturbation keep me out of sissy fetishes for longer periods. But after too many days of abstinence the urge can be so huge that I feel like hypnotized. This is what I am afraid of the most:
    - I know my prison - it's relatively safe but hopeless with no future.
    - Outside the prison the energy and tension inside my body keep growing with no limits. When I'm triggered I will fall back in my prison with tripled urge to perform the worst things :(
    I tried to get out of PMO many times with negative effect. I will do my best to abstain from this for as long as possible.
     
  2. Targaryenn

    Targaryenn Fapstronaut

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    Welcome to this great community!
    Keep up the good work. Stay away from pm!!
     

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