One of the most best thread, if you are young read it. (Its not written by me) CREDITS to its writer

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Deleted Account, Nov 4, 2018.

  1. I would like to share some thoughts as an older guy on this nofap post. I have never posted anything on any website before but I really would like to say something now. Hopefully it won't sound like just some guy who wants to post his amazing insights that everyone has heard a thousand times before. I am 58 years old. A lot of the posters on this subject seem to be much younger than me. High school kids. College kids. I am amazed at some of the ideas and insights they come with when it comes to giving up fapping and porn and how important it is. It inspires me greatly. Now don't get me wrong. I'm a middle class guy living a middle class life. Married, two kids, 17 and 21 years old. I haven't failed by any stretch of the imagination. But I am haunted by all of the things I could have done. If I had had more interest in life and more ambition, and more focus. For so many years, when I was alone and could have spent the time doing something that would lead me to a more satisfying and in my mind more productive life, more likely than not I spent the time fantasizing and fapping accompanied by its subsequent hangover. If I had been smarter I would have gotten help, but I grew up thinking that I was smart enough and a man enough to be able to fix his own problems. When you grow up thinking you should be able to do everything yourself and it doesn't work, it leads to a hiding life. Fapping and porn are custom built for a hiding life.
    You feel as if everyone else is doing the right thing and living a proper life while you sit in a dark room going from image to image in search of the perfect one, fapping again and again thinking this one will be the last. You live in absolute fear of being found out for what you are. You can't look people in the eye because you just know that they'll be able to tell what a complete jack off you are.
    When you're alone though, for those few minutes at least you're King of the World. But then you have to wipe the cum off your stomach and suffer more hours of lethargy and hiding. Somehow you make through the days at work. You're presentable. You can get the minimum amount of work done so that people will think you're okay. But you lack drive. You lack ambition. Other people will come in and move up quickly, but you don't really want to. Years go by and you don't realize it but time is running out. I've had friends who have lived and died in less time than I have spent fantasizing my life away. Any venturing out of your shell and you find yourself running back to the safety of your dark room and your computer screen. Any stressful situation and you find yourself clamoring back to your computer screen. But the thing is, as you live this hiding kind of life, every situation becomes stressful. Normal conversations with people you meet become stressful. Every bill in the mail becomes stressful. Every crowded place becomes stressful. You just want to be left alone to lock yourself in your room and find the perfect woman who can't help herself from begging you to have the most incredible sex with her because she can see how unbelievably desireable you are. But then you feel sick all over again when you have to wipe the jizz off your stomach and you've wasted another pathetic day. But how did you get like this? Is it your fault? Can you really do anything about it? The fact is, it probably isn't your fault that this became your life. It happened before you realized what was going on. We are surrounded from the minute we get up in the morning until we go to bed way too late by an incredible amount of stimulation. Fast pulsing music, everywhere someone is telling us what we need to have, pictures of beautiful people living the most incredible lives that we should be living too. We're shown all of the things that other people have and if we don't get it too we'll never be as cool as they are. Tell me that isn't stressful. Our entire exsistence is marketed to us 24 hours a day, and most of it is tied somehow to sex,Evan if you don't see the sex, it's there underneath somewhere. Fot thousands of years, humans lived the majority of their lives more quietly, with their own thoughts, punctuated occassionally by brief moments of intense stimulation. Whether you were running from some wild animal hoping not to get eaten or having sex with one of the few partners available to you, for the most part you lived day to day slower and with very little stimulation. That is how humans evolved Now we are bombarded 24 hours a day, mostly by sex, and we are not built for it. Endless women at our fingertips just begging for our cum.
    It has made us, at least those of us who are spending their lives wiping jizz off their stomachs, in to drug addicts. Our brains have become addicted to the dopamine rush it gets from the intense stimulation of the pixels that desire us like crazy. We are no different from the heroin addicts who steal whatever they can get their hands on to feed their addiction. We are no different from the crack addict who gets his fix and lays on the couch while his eyes roll back in his head as he avoids life and the real world. Only we steal time. We steal from the future. We look at heroin addicts and feel sorry for them. We abhor the fact that they waste their one opportunity at life and become a living shell of a human being, on their way to an early death. Maybe our addiction isn't so obvious. Maybe it isn't quite as lethal, at least in the same way. But it is deadly in other ways. It deadens us to the world around us. It deadens us to the present. It deadens us to the future. Years, years can go by as you wipe your load off of your stomach and look at yourself in the mirror wondering what is wrong with you. Years out of the one and only life you will every have. But, and this is huge, it can change. There is nothing wrong with you. You're not immoral, you're not a pervert, you're not the disgusting individual you think you are. You're a drug addict, plain and simple. Your brain that is addicted to dopamine can be weaned off of it. It isn't easy, I still struggle, but you can change your brain. The neural pathways that are so worn down from the traffic of porn and fap and hiding and shame can, if unused, become overgrown and impassable. New paths can be made, and from constant use become just as worn and easy to walk as the old pathways. These paths can be whatever it is you love in life. Exercise. Writing. Learning. Reading. Helping others. Working. Anything you really enjoy and that you feel makes your life better and what you want it to be. So take it one day at a time. Live good 5 minute periods, or hour long periods, or 24 hour periods. Make it a 30 day challenge or a 60 day challenge or whatever works for you. As I've read before, good minutes add up to good hours, good hours add up to good days, good days add up to good weeks, and so on. Live open. Live clean. Share. Get help wherever you can. Find like minded individuals. Use whatever you can find as motivation. Turn off your fucking computer. Quiet down your life and think about what you want and not what others tell you to want. Screw them. They've sucked enough life out of you. Do what you want to do now. The only person in your way is yourself. You can change and do whatever you want. Sorry about the long post. I don't mean to preach because I struggle and don't have all of the answers. What I think I have is an outlook from someone who is older and if I can share that with the guys on this site who are younger and it gives them more insight about what the effects could be if they spend too much of their lives looking in the mirror wondering what is wrong with them, then maybe someone will waste less time of their precious life. It is given with honesty and a hope that it will be a beneficial perspective to those that are young enough and have many years ahead to do great things in this world.
     
  2. _Owais_

    _Owais_ Fapstronaut

    Getting help from our elders gives the most positive results in our life & we need our elders..."A GUY WITHOUT EYES IS BLIND & A PERSON WITHOUT GUIDANCE IS SAME"our elders have experienced the bitterness & goodness of life so they just want the new ones to stay away from this shit....
    Really its an amazing thread...
    HATS OFF MAN...thx for sharing :)
     
  3. fan_of_all_might

    fan_of_all_might Fapstronaut

    105
    132
    43
    Great post bro, thank you for sharing this. Honestly I'm getting to that point where I'm young but not that young (27). I'm starting to notice repeat patterns and the thought that this will go on forever is fucking scary. Being lethargic, ashamed, submissive to life. It's easy to talk yourself out of the pain this addiction causes you. Waiting for you next fix.

    But if we don't feel the pain we won't want to change enough. Hearing regrets is a great way to remind yourself of the pain you're ignoring.
     
  4. IAmLegion

    IAmLegion Fapstronaut

    1,632
    29,802
    143
    Plus ultra man.

    PLUS ULTRA!!!
     
  5. Scotsman

    Scotsman New Fapstronaut

    3
    2
    3
  6. Innervision

    Innervision Fapstronaut

    Absolutely inspiring! Thanks for sharing. Time is ticking, my friends...
     
  7. Reborn_

    Reborn_ Fapstronaut

    206
    253
    63
    Crazy post, absolutely phenomenal.
    I'll have to make a list of good motivational threads so that I can add this to it.
     
    bixxlow likes this.
  8. whoami33

    whoami33 Fapstronaut

    278 days ago i tried to motivate myself but underlying thought was, does it worth it ? I mean i know porn free life worths it but does this challenge here and now worths it ? I probably would relapse (just out of years of experience) so does 7 days or 40 days of prevention help, when all i would feel in these days would be pain the relapse and binge and more pain ?.

    You are strong to go through pain but not prefect to always think rationally and stay motivated. I not only wasted years of my life looking for perfect scenes but also for waiting for when i feel confident and motivated to abstain.

    I dreamt of abstaining from all porn and p subs and masturbation all by myself, all motivated and forever like a superhero. Something that worths making a movie of.

    But somewhere i read about 10 times rule and asking your self how can i be 10 times more productive or how can i make it 10 times more likely to happen ? The point is challenge your thinking and find new ways because your old ways are not going to be 10 times more effective.

    I knew the answer: it was using porn blockers .
    But wait: what about masturbation ? Aren’t they tightly wired together in our brain ? Well they can wire apart (neurons that fire apart wire apart).
    But everywhere is full of porn ? Yes but few are endless porn tubes or cam sites and there are porn blockers smart enough to detect way more porn sites than you knew even existed.

    But i still can masturbate to thumbnails in google images. Well yes you can do but going from 5 hardcore fetish porn videos videos in 5 minutes to one suggestive or pornographic image is progress. Garry wilson says that todays porn is not old porn and its new age porn that is problematic. I just blocked new age porn. I removed instagram i banned thumblr and reddits images servers and banned whole twitter(not anymore).

    I wanted to stop porn as i knew it. And if i found some new websites turning to compulsions i would ban them too.

    This was not a perfect way to stop but if i just did this imperfect way and took me 2 years of recovery ( instead of lets say 6 months of perfect NoPMO) then i was healed by now.

    When there is an addiction in brain its like two people controlling brain, you hate porn now but you can not trust your tomorrow self. By using porn blockers i could block and set REAL rules when my rational self was in charge and just focus on pain or craving or anxiety without asking myself 100 times everytime what if i relapse 3 4 days later ?
    And if i found a loophole? Then i could fix it instead of trying to reasoning my cravings and getting tired untill giving up.

    You need to pay a price for this actually, you may need to give up some of your favorite services like instagram or Twitter or tumblr, when my blocker(qustodio) used to block youtube videos that had nothing to do with sex but weren’t available with safe search being on i kinda paid for it. And when i rejected fantasy of leaving it in heroic way i paid for it by going against my toxic ego which wanted to make sence of many relapses buy becoming free in one try. But that was a good deal because i was getting my life back.

    Im 25 and started this streak when i was 24. After these days i have only one regret:
    Why i was an stubborn, why i rejected the solution that works for all these years that i wont get back.

    AMA
     
    Randox, ronkumar, MasterGamer and 4 others like this.
  9. Meditation Monk

    Meditation Monk Fapstronaut

    574
    1,586
    123
    Sounds good to me bud. :)
     
    Freeddom_Taker and whoami33 like this.
  10. whoami33

    whoami33 Fapstronaut

    Oh boy i wish i was 15 and had this information and 10 more years to live.
     
    exito likes this.
  11. Reborn_

    Reborn_ Fapstronaut

    206
    253
    63
    I'm very thankful I found out about Nofap sooner rather than later. Not even taking into account that it takes hard work to quit PMO, so many people don't see anything wrong with it, and hence never think about quitting.
    Btw, I scimmed through a few of the tips in your 60+ tips threads, looks very helpful. I'll have to go through it in depth later tonight.
     
    exito, Deleted Account and whoami33 like this.
  12. whoami33

    whoami33 Fapstronaut

    Also know that your reboot may take longer than 90 days. When did you started ? There might be paws
     
    exito and Freeddom_Taker like this.
  13. rp007

    rp007 Fapstronaut

    56
    33
    18
    Thank you for sharing your thoughts! It is inspiring...
     
    Deleted Account and exito like this.
  14. bixxlow

    bixxlow Fapstronaut

    22
    24
    3
    The best post
     
    Deleted Account and exito like this.
  15. Gideonite

    Gideonite Fapstronaut

    This post is really accurate.. thx for sharing it.
     
    Deleted Account and exito like this.
  16. exito

    exito Fapstronaut

    Great post , how great it is when you can learn from life experience of others
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  17. whoami33

    whoami33 Fapstronaut

  18. Find out on your own.
     
  19. One Mic

    One Mic Fapstronaut

    kropo82 and whoami33 like this.
  20. Last edited by a moderator: Nov 7, 2018

Share This Page