One of the Most Important things I've learned through NoFap

@segaiolo91

I've been through some HARD breakups and have been turned down more times that I could count. The most important thing is to find some guy friends and do things that make you feel good about yourself. I found that exercise helps me, but not just any exercise, old-school calistenitics, pull-ups, yoga, capoeira, and working on movement. Also, being social and joking around with people really helps too. You need to throw you out of your mental space ASAP!!! Spend your mental energy on your friends, family, work, and personal life....things that deserve your attention. I used to always think the problem with my romantic life was always 100% my fault. It's not.... there is a lot of luck involved in that stuff... it's not just the man's responsibility. There's a portion that's a woman's responsibility. If they are complete human beings (which they are), then they are responsible for holding up conversation, texting you back, treating you with respect (even if they don't like you) as long as you have been respectful with them. Some people will treat you bad no matter how well you treat them. I suggest you go out and get on with life. If she is really good for you she will come back around but only AFTER you forget about her. Not BEFORE. You move on FIRST then if she comes back around you can decide if she is good for you.


http://lightwayofthinking.com/top-5-lies-pick-up-artist-mens-dating-advice-communities/

Check this out.... I get the feeling that you may be burdening too much of the fault. With compassion I slap you in the face and tell you to get on with your life.... I wish someone would have told me the same things when I was struggling like you.

 

@Reece83 , I agree with some of what you say. I agree that it's more important for men to have a goal in life (doesn't necessarily mean a job/money per se) that is bigger than getting a woman. This "soul mate" stuff is a badge to be earned not just given to someone who you have a lot in common with. Also I agree that you shouldn't look to women (or other men if that's your thing) as an authority to give your power over too.

However, I disagree that all men need to be competitive. Some guys are not, and if you're not then it's OK not to be. Also, it's ok to want to bond with women. They are more than receptacles for our penises and should always be treated as such. Would you like someone with the mentality of "just %&#* the b*tches and let them worry about the relationship" sort of attitude talking to your sister, mother, or daughter? I highly doubt it. You would want him to treat her with respect.

I will add my 2 cents to what you said and let's see if the reframe is a little more balanced.....


1) respect yourself and take care of your life and your goals FIRST

2) if you find a woman who you like, treat her with equal respect and expect the same from her.

3) Bond with her as a human being.... you and she are human beings FIRST.... you are men and women SECOND.... sexual creatures THIRD don't forget that.

4) then go and *$(# her with wild abandon if that's what you both want.... don't hold back your heart, head, or soul in this endeavor. That is a TRUER manliness IMO.


I understand what you are trying to say and you have some REALLY GOOD points but I feel as though your response is still being fueled by some sort of distorted view caused by pornification.... I used to think the same way. Now I don't. Make up your own mind. Give up PMO for 30 days then see if what you wrote above changes at all.