One of these days I am going to need to do this without blockers?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by skaterdrew, Aug 24, 2019.

  1. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

    Basically I have went to really extreme lengths to make sure I can't access porn or artificial sexual stimulation. I don't have a smart phone. I have my laptop blocked beyond belief and it's near impossible to bypass the blockers. I don't have tv cables or tv aerials because the tv has channels on there that could cause relapse. Instead I use a firestick which only has certain tv apps on there, not even youtube, as youtube can cause relapse. Youtube on my laptop is locked on restricted mode and can't be switched off. Amazon is blocked on my laptop and my fire tv stick has a parental control code I don't know. I can't even download more apps on the fire tv stick.

    I just feel like what I do to make sure I can't access porn and artificial sexual stimulation is very extreme. I have had it all this way since April 2018.

    The thing is I notice the urge and like for porn weakening, usually I don't even enjoy it much anymore. But something I notice is the urge to search and view it has never completely went away. Another problem is it doesn't take much PMO before the porn becomes enjoyable again.

    I just don't know how I am ever going to get to the point I can refuse it when it's easily accessible?
    Omeed likes this.
  2. Omeed

    Omeed Fapstronaut

    That is a very difficult choice/preference/correction to have to go through. I wish I could tell you that blocking it all is the best/easiest choice. You have done so much work to show how serious you are. Maybe turn that extra energy into a positive project. Maybe finding affirmations from Eckhart Tolle, you can just Google,”Eckhart Tolle affirmation.” It will work even if I misspell his first name. There could be too much thought going on in your head to keep the addict quiet enough. Have you tried dialoguing by always writing/typing out your questions along with answers? I am about to make a post on my personal journal on here of a dialogue.

    Good luck, but you are not in jail for your behavior yet so maybe you should not try to place your self into isolation?

    We have my kids phone locked, but we have the systems, family computer, wide open. It seems a lot of children are coming from more broken homes in 2019 the future. Back To The Future was 2015 with a flying Delorean.

    I need to see if my children fail, to give them consequence to be able to have them work their way into trying again.

    You can take the addict to rehab, but you can’t keep them there.

    You can take all the tools from the addict, but you may be setting yourself up for failure. I mean I guess you can go off grid possibly with no electricity, but otherwise technology is part of our life. It hurts to think that we don’t learn if we are failing, shouldn't I be doing a little better instead of a compete relapse?

    As I stated above, maybe you need to have questions and answers while writing down the answers. I use to just do them in my head, but it kept getting weaker and weaker until I just stopped. Writing basically puts it on paper or a computer screen or like The Flintstones in stone.
    Just to help disperse those thoughts to surf the web without a concise plan/timer.
  3. IR254

    IR254 Fapstronaut

    I think so, too. You'll have to figure out, if all this trouble is worth it. According to your counter, you still looked at porn a couple of days ago even though you go through all these drastic measures. Maybe all these steps aren't so sucessful in the first place? But only you can answer that.

    Also, you should ask yourself if you want to live like this you entire life. Isn't it possible, that you simply won't know how to deal with free internet again if you decide to get rid of the blockers some day? What then? Maybe it is a better long-term solution to learn how to say "No" right from the beginning? I don't know what will happen either, but it seems plausible to me.

    All in all, nobody knows what's going to happen when you keep the blockers or what's going to happen when you get rid of them. You'll have to experiment, think about it and find out. Good luck.
  4. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

    Thank man.

    Yeah But I relapsed on a safe search google image for 5 minutes. I class any artificial sexual stimulation as porn. Relapsing on an image like this for 5 minutes is completely different from edging, wanking, flicking about hundreds of different porn content for hours. This is the difference between my relapses with and without the blockers.
  5. psychedelicjelly

    psychedelicjelly Fapstronaut

    Good on you buddy. I can't trust myself either as much I don't want to look at porn.

    Until you can trust yourself you have to rely on those blockers
  6. HazyPhaser

    HazyPhaser New Fapstronaut

    I too have blockers on my phone and I canceled the internet service to my house.

    I’m still working on getting a long streak, but I think the blockers give me some space to work on the real drivers of my urge to look at porn.

    I think there will be a time when I lose the blockers but it will have to be after I have learned to deal with boredom, anxiety, or other uncomfortable feelings without trying to dig around for some time of sexual image or bypass my blockers. Every time we have an urge to try and beat the blockers we need to think about how we are feeling and do something else.
    Omeed likes this.
  7. thedarkbird

    thedarkbird Fapstronaut

    What I've repeated here in numerous threads before, porn addiction itself isn't the main issue, it's the symptom of a root cause; the reason why we're watching porn so much. In my case I used porn to numb emotions and cope with stress. So I'm working on feeling and accepting emotions, and coping with stress in other ways.

    You can quit porn and block everything that might make you watch it again, in the end you'll have to tackle what got you addicted in the first place, whatever that may be for you. Once you've got that figured out you won't need blockers anymore. I know that I don't.

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