One step at a time..

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by BobbyD, Oct 5, 2018.

  1. BobbyD

    BobbyD Fapstronaut

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    New around the forums but I've been lurking! So far 20 days clean and i have to admit i feel GREAT! Sleeps always been an issue for me but its starting to come easy. Also admit at times i feel like slipping up but i find myself on the forums in those times. Reading all these successful stories gives me the will power to hold off for better days.

    Have never heard of nofap before but started to notice i would get very depressed after pmo. there were dark times i felt like life couldn't go on for me anymore.. I started to noticed the times i would not masturbate were wonderful.. So i started searching about depression and masturbation. Thankfully i found nofap. Its so much clearer now!

    Self diagnosed pied but I've had trouble in past relationships with ed and de. in my entire sex life ive yet to orgasm from a BJ that wasn't borderline abusive. Nothing crazy in the sense of fetish but extremely fast movements of her head and i always thought it was just how i was, im starting to wonder if pmo has done that as well. always found it hard *pun intended* to date. I would have intercourse and not orgasm and finish myself off later because using a condom would never work and the thought of STDs scare the hell out of me..

    My aim is the full 90 days no pmo mo.. im single at the moment but have been talking to a female on a dating site so im not sure hardmode could work out but im pushing for a full reboot anyhow.

    Thanks for all the support the forum's given me already

    Sorry if my lingo is off this is all so exciting and new to me. Who would of thunk it. being excited not to orgasm lmao
     
  2. The Lone Ranger

    The Lone Ranger Fapstronaut

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    Congrats on a good start and good luck ahead!
     
  3. BobbyD

    BobbyD Fapstronaut

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    Thanks lone ranger.

    Update: going on 24days and the temptation is worse than day one. Im not even interested in porn or MO i just feel i need to release.. I've been talking to a few women on dating apps thing are going great but one stopped replying and im not sure how i feel. Maybe i should give up on dating apps for a while..

    I've been single for awhile due to pmo and i haven't had been in the mood so to speak to try and find a significant other. The last few weeks friends and family really want to set me up and i been avoiding it. I feel somewhat ready but not sure how it will conflict with nofap. Like it or not im being set up on a blind date in the next week. We're both attending the same party. Im intrigued to meet her from what i hear we'll fit together great.. Its not stressing me out to the point of relapse or reset but it is VERY overwhelming. Not sure how to handle nofap and a relationship since pied was a problem with my ex's that i used protectionwith. I haven't decided easy or hard mode. All i know is no porn for 90days minimum (feel i could go forever now) and no MO for atleast 30. Which i feel i can go much longer since i don't feel in the mood to pleasure myself without porn however the feeling of needing a release has become an issue. Not sure on the sex part as the opportunity hasn't shown itself..

    I started very young but i feel i can beat this beast *no pun intended*
     
  4. Clean Plate

    Clean Plate Fapstronaut

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    I agree on the latter. Work on yourself first. I have been on dating apps like pof because Im ready and confident in my self recently but I still have to learn to chat with the opposite gender. Which ones are free like pof? Match.com, Eharmony and others require you to pay to chat. I'm not that desperate but I wouldnt drop a dime just to be able to chat online. Ive read reviews about which ones are scams and such.
     
  5. BobbyD

    BobbyD Fapstronaut

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    I hear you i wouldn't pay for these apps myself. POF Badoo and tinder are my goto. Lately pof has been my primary but these girls make it hard to form a connection its so one sided. I ask questions i get a quick reply. I ask a deep question i get a quick reply. Then they have the balls to say they dont want boring conversations haha. Women are weird. I myself have problems connecting with women over text so i know its a learning curve for sure!
     
  6. Clean Plate

    Clean Plate Fapstronaut

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    I havent experienced that myself but I speak to them in a genuine way but sometimes it takes forever to reply. Sometimes I do get a quick reply and if you say something and the women process it they wrong way they get butthurt about it and dont reply. It is a learning curve for sure. Hey, we all start somewhere man!
     
  7. BobbyD

    BobbyD Fapstronaut

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    So today is 30 days... i told myself 30 days no pmo no mo. After 30 i figured mo without porn. Im not sure what to do.
    Now i know i said im done with online dating. the thing is same night i said that i had this beautiful girl start messaging me. It got fast pretty quick.now ive been initiating dirty talk(blame it on being backed up lol) anyhow i know she wants to meet and things could get hot quick.
    This is my dilemma. Enjoy mo ALONE or let her deal with the big load from 30days of abstinence?? Shes been texting me and its all i could think of all day. I know i could resist pmo and maybe mo but i know i cannot resist a woman. Which from day one i said was fine.

    I may be venting or just confused, maybe just a little horny and not sure if i could be making a mistake either way?

    Say if i mo today and met her in 3-4days would that be enough recovery time? I read that some guys need to wait a week before o again.
     
  8. Clean Plate

    Clean Plate Fapstronaut

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    Honestly your recovery will benefit from not pmoing and sleeping with a real women. Thats the thing about this addiction man its related so much to us unlike heroin addiction. You will overload your dopamine system if you m or sleep with her and you have to be willing to face the consequences (the chaser effect/urges). Its your call man.
     
  9. BobbyD

    BobbyD Fapstronaut

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    You're right!! I've been thinking about waiting its just nice to hear what others think/experience themselves. See the thing is since day one, i figured sex if it presents itself was cool. BUT As the times been going by i like the way im feeling more and more its just getting better.. im more confident, secure, much more energy and strength. My stamina has always been great as i usually work out 3hr or more atleast 5 times a week. The thing is now im never tired! Ive always had an issue with sleep. I could just lay in bed for hours in the dark and not sleep then i would wake up tired. Now i just lay my head down and i pass out quickly. I figure pmo caused this. She seems really cool maybe i should just let her know whats going on!? Honesty right lol

    To be honest it just feels good to express myself on here since friends and family dont know what im going through. Its crazy because i was REALLY depressed for sometime and they never knew it..

    I think ill take sometime tonight and read success stories as they helped me the first few weeks before i even wrote on the forums.

    Thanks fellow nofappers. Its great seeing all the support you guys have for each other
     
    Clean Plate likes this.

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