One year and no sex drive

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Cicada, Oct 1, 2015.

  1. Cicada

    Cicada Fapstronaut

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    Yo,
    on Tuesday I'll be hitting 365 days without jacking it and about 16 months without porn.

    The first weeks were hard, the first months were horny, but for the past half year+ I've had basically no sex drive. I pick someone up every few weeks but struggle to get into it and then struggle even more to keep it up. I'm more awkward than I've ever been.

    In fact with the last 5-6 girls I simply skipped sex half the time and had luke warm experiences with the rest. I just don't get into it, at all.

    I really don't want to start again since it doesn't add much to my life but at this point I think it might be the way to go to reignite. I really do want to be in the moment with some of these girls. Any similar experiences?
     
  2. nfprogress

    nfprogress Fapstronaut

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    Have you had your free testosterone levels checked and is the rest of your life going well (good exercise, enough sleep, health diet, not too much stress)?

    I hate that that question had to be my first to you, but I really don't think bringing porn back should be needed. Have you thought that maybe the girls you are picking up may not be the right ones for you? Perhaps you might like to date for awhile and possibly build toward a relationship if you find some chemistry there? It might just be a point of maturity where picking up girls isn't so exciting anymore and you crave something a bit different.

    From my experience, you can't force chemistry. You can get horny and want sex, but that is different.
     
  3. Spidey2Dope

    Spidey2Dope Fapstronaut

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    I've heard that some people feel like they are in a flatline until they have sex then everything comes back. I can't really tell by your post if you've had sex or not. Maybe try getting it on with one of them to spark it back up.
     
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  4. numpty

    numpty Fapstronaut

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    Maybe they are not your type?

    In my understanding if your brain doesn't like what it sees or it doesn't feel it has a connection it won't fire the rocket up?
     
  5. Cicada

    Cicada Fapstronaut

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    This is what I've been thinking as well, but I'm not too happy with it lol. I was hoping that getting off porn and focusing on sex was gonna give me the dopamine boost I needed but since the opposite has happened, I'm a little worried.

    Other aspects of my life are OK - vegetarian, light exercise, work from home, active social life etc.. I am bouncing back after a 2 year bout with heavy depression though, so I'm on meds since about a year and sleep isn't working great either. But then again I've never really been able to get quality sleep.

    I think a lot of things are factoring in and I just needed to get it off my chest. I'll hold off on the PMO and focus on platonic relationships til I recover properly :)

    Ye I've had sex, it's just that I've been unable to really get into it (apart from with one person, someone real close to me).
     
    Last edited: Oct 2, 2015
  6. lp123

    lp123 Fapstronaut

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    eat some eggs man. trust. have a couple every morning. take some omega 3s, you'll be just fine.
     
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  7. Cicada

    Cicada Fapstronaut

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    lol yeah you're right, I don't eat eggs or fish so I'm probs low on omega-3. Tried flaxseed oil but damn it tastes nasty.
     
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  8. numpty

    numpty Fapstronaut

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    nutrition does play a part a rather big part i must say. But oftenly it gets pushed to the back

    Haven't been eating well for last two weeks and the last week i been ill and hardly ate and lost weight. On day 29 and am thinking not much improvement down there.

    I just ate a pizza - and had other food throughout the day and then got right of a boner! Hypothetically it would have stayed up but i made sure i didn't think sexually
     
  9. atak

    atak Fapstronaut

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    Sorry to be direct but can you get it up by just touching yourself? People with PIED are visual orientated. IMHO a healthy guy should be able to shag a chick even if it is a 5 or a 6. Girls not being hot enough is not an excuse. Pre-porn era people shagged what they would get.
     
  10. Cicada

    Cicada Fapstronaut

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    LOL that's awesome buddy, pizza's the way to go yeah?
    Haha, yep, that's why I'm worried. You can still have amazing sex with a 5 or 6 - and I want to. I'm seeing some people now that I really am physically attracted to but the sex is worse than when I was learning the ropes in my teens. I'm completely disconnected.

    To answer your question - no - or more to the point, I don't think so since it hasn't happened in a long while and I don't have the urge anymore. Tbh I rarely even get morning wood and nightly emissions are down to once every six weeks or so. I used to use and that could get the juices flowing but I've been mostly clean for a year now.

    Putting all of this into writing I think I'm seeing how more complex issues - both current and residual - are affecting me at this point in my life. I think it'll take a while to bounce back.

    I'll get on that omega-3 biz. Thanks for the support guys, means a lot.
     
  11. Thechosenone

    Thechosenone Fapstronaut

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    @Cicada
    Hey brother. I'm a vegetarian too, here's what you do: Get Almonds, Walnuts, Pumpkin seeds and Cashews. Everyday have a combined handful of all of these and it'll give you the support your diet needs. Id also suggest taking a look at your protein intake. What helped me a ton was to keep this habit of eating nuts, having a glass of milk, 2 slices of toast and a bagel with cheese & humous everyday without fail.

    nuts; 5g protein
    milk; 9g protein
    2 x slices of brown bread for toast; 8g protein
    bagel by itself; 10g protein
    slice of cheese; 15g
    humous; 5g

    Thats about 50g which is decent. You need to have 1g / kg you weigh - as a minimum. if you weigh 60kg you need 60 grams. Milk is your friend. I also started eating omlettes which are high in protein and omegas. 10g/egg in 3 egg omlette = 30g which is loads!

    Do this for a few weeks and you'll notice a difference in energy and mood! nuts contain antioxidants! Keep at it mate! bst of luck!
     
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  12. numpty

    numpty Fapstronaut

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    Pizza is full of carbs... food rich in carbs gives more energy than protein and fat...

    Try some carb rich food
     
  13. You mentioned meds? The side effects of some may cause this.
     
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  14. Fighter834

    Fighter834 Fapstronaut

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    Many antidepressant medications carry a side effect very similar to what you're explaining. You really should speak with your mental health provider or primary care provider about this issue. It's very likely not related to PMO but your antidepressant medications. There are alternative antidepressants that may work better for you.

    Your friendly nofap pharmacist ;)
     
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  15. Cicada

    Cicada Fapstronaut

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    Solid advice man, I really appreciate it. I'll get on those nuts and dig out my hummus mixer :)
    Yeah you would think that antidepressants make you happier but you're only really sedated. I'm seeing my mental health provider this week and will definitely bring it up.
     
  16. Spidey2Dope

    Spidey2Dope Fapstronaut

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    I can't get it up by myself :(. I need either porn or doing foreplay with my girl in order to get an erection. I relapsed last night unfortunately. I really want nofap. I have terrible anxiety and I always wonder if nofap will work then I get stressed from anxiety I PMO. Shit sucks man. I really need to just stick with it and just rewire with my girl.
     
    atak likes this.
  17. Hi, Cicada, take some sun baths also.
     
  18. Calm

    Calm Fapstronaut

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    Full vegan here, way to go man! PM me with any questions!
     
  19. nfprogress

    nfprogress Fapstronaut

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    I couldn't agree with this post more. Sexual side effects very much like you are describing are more than a little bit common. I looked at a few studies on the one I am taking and the studies were spot on (DE in my case and I could absolutely see how many guys could lose a lot of drive and not be into it). Also very strongly agree that there are alternative anti-depressants to look at with your doctor. At the same time, I know how very dangerous it could be to switch anti-depressants when you have found one you can tolerate and that has your life back on track (there is a big risk of withdrawal with many of them too). So changing medications may not be a path worth actually going down. But I'd put substantial money it being a part of the issue here (always consider causal nexus rather than single cause).
     
  20. FullPotential

    FullPotential Fapstronaut

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    for some particular reason u gave a disadvantage of nofap,u have no sexdrive how can that be possible i am here struggling to get past atleast 4 days and u gave me a shock,do u feel like impotent or what,please reply
     

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