One Year

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by sodona, May 7, 2015.

  1. sodona

    sodona New Fapstronaut

    Hello everyone!

    I realized this morning that today marks a full year of life without masturbation or pornography, and in way of celebration I've decided to share my story.

    Like everyone else, I was masturbating regularly by age 10, and when we got our first internet hookup a few years later it didn't take me long to discover the porn sites. Even then I remember knowing that I was heading down an unhealthy road, and I promised myself I'd stop someday when I got into a real sexual relationship. Little did I know it would take me 17 years to begin making a real, concerted effort to quit, and 20 years to achieve satisfactory results.

    The effects of porn that I experienced have been well documented by others. Sexual frustration all through my 20's, low self-worth, the feeling that I must be asexual or that there was something wrong with my body. One early relationship was almost certainly ruined after the disappointing `first time'.

    At 28 I finally had the embarrassing sexual experience to end all others. She was beautiful, and I'd been rock-hard the whole time we were making out, but then when the clothes came off there was just nothing. Totally limp. She was upset and thought it must be her, that she wasn't attractive enough, but I reassured her it was just me being nervous. We tried again the next day, and the next, but it was hopeless. I even remember sitting at home with some porn pulled up trying to `practice' an erection for the evening, with obviously no luck. We broke off dating by mutual agreement the next day, and I entered a deep depression. I went for a long walk with the intention of visiting a local clinic to ask about Viagra or something, and unexpectedly received a ride from a serene 80-something old man dressed in his Sunday best who talked a lot about the Holy Spirit and invited me to church. No, it's not a conversion story! But something about the talk made me think about my daily habit of masturbating to porn every night before bed. I skipped the clinic and walked home, googled the subject, and had the great AHA! moment when I found YourBrainOnPorn and all the nofap stories on reddit. That was August 2011 and life has transitioned since then into something so much more wonderful than I could ever have predicted.

    Some observations. Nofap does NOT solve all your problems. What it does is put you in a place to recognize them for what they are, and start fighting them. A week in I began noticing I had much more energy and interest for life. Things had more color, people had more personality, and girls were more interesting and attractive. Four or five months later (having had mixed success, a couple of 20-day runs on hard mode) I found myself actually initiating conversation with girls in coffee shops and bars, something I had never imagined. My self-confidence has gone up exponentially. I began a serious relationship in February 2012 (age 28) with the first great love of my life, and for the first time ever I experienced a healthy sexual relationship. It was transforming. We ended up being on different life tracks, though, and during the low moments I occasionally reverted to porn. When that relationship ended I relapsed for about a week before realizing that I couldn't live with myself if I went back to my old ways. So on May 7th a year ago I decided to quit once and for all. In June I met the woman of my dreams, and we just got married last month! I shared my porn story with her early in our relationship, and I highly recommend doing this, as I now have an amazing cheerleader to share my stories of temptation and triumph with.

    Anyways, that's my story.

    As I side note, for all the guys (and girls) fighting on hard mode, it IS possible. My personal best without sexual release is 69 days (haha, it's just the way it worked out), but I've gotten over 40 days several times. The temptation becomes a constant companion, but you CAN do it, especially if you remember how much it sucks to start the count over. I tried to put all my extra energy into projects, exercise, and establishing an active dating life (where there truly is no motivation like sexual deprivation). As a side note, my DREAMS became extraordinarily vivid and sometimes lucid after a week or two of nofap.

    Good luck to everyone. Keep fighting the good fight.
  2. Cojax

    Cojax Fapstronaut

    Thank you for the inspiration! I have struggled for over 1 year now with constant relapses, and today I have been wondering if it is possible at all, but you gave me hope!
    sodona likes this.
  3. sodona

    sodona New Fapstronaut


    The world is a better place because of your year of struggle. It is out of intense and prolonged fighting (always involving major setbacks and defeats) that all the great saints and heroes are made. Relapse does not make you a failure!!! Remember you are not in this alone. Every success that you have is a victory to share with others on this forum, and the light that grows in your life as a result is a gift that you will spread to everyone you meet.

    If you want, post here again after a week of victory.
  4. SimpleDave

    SimpleDave Fapstronaut

    This. This right here. Thank you for opening up and sharing your story of failure and triumph. Guys like me read things like this and realize that there IS hope. Congratulations on being one year clean (that must be an amazing thing to be able to say) and this read definitely puts things into perspective.
    GmanUK, Dizzy Lotus and sodona like this.
  5. Dizzy Lotus

    Dizzy Lotus Fapstronaut

    Thank you. Thank you a lot for this post.
    sodona likes this.
  6. GmanUK

    GmanUK Fapstronaut

    Yeah, great post. Im glad things are working out for you man
    sodona and Dizzy Lotus like this.
  7. Gilbert

    Gilbert Fapstronaut

    Really pleased for you, and congratulations on the wedding! I'm on day 9/10 now but am facing some serious urges gah D:
  8. Mike Smith

    Mike Smith New Fapstronaut

    Thank you so much for sharing... You gave me hope and i would like to hear some advices ...:)
  9. wanna be free

    wanna be free Fapstronaut

    Thanks for sharing! Awesome that you pushed through the relapses and never gave up! You did it! ... and we can too!
  10. Taqwaman

    Taqwaman Fapstronaut

    Thats what I call success! Congratzz man, live your life fully and freely!!
  11. Gilbert

    Gilbert Fapstronaut

    I wish I had your motivation! I feel physically too exhausted all the time and unable to battle through the urges and stuff usually but I hope to reach this stage at some point for definite. Congrats!
  12. rishabhv66

    rishabhv66 Fapstronaut

    that was inspiring. Thanks for sharing.
  13. revital

    revital Fapstronaut

    Love your narration and story! Hope to feel same.
  14. Thanks for your insiprational story anodos99.This story should be heard by all who think that they cant give up this addiction.I too am looking for that ''special woman" who can come into my life and enrich it.I cant focus all my attention on that though.I am trying to grow stronger,each and everyday and become the strongest version of myself so I can be the best man that my future wife wants me to be.I am just 10 days in and I have no intenion of jerking off to my fantasties and porn ever again.Good luck on this journey called life.
    Ray Breslin likes this.
  15. tomtom

    tomtom Fapstronaut

    Great stuff! I'm looking forward to my one-year-post in about 3 months.
  16. You're an inspiration bro!Everything you have said is spot-on.
    Congrats on getting married to the love of your life!:)
  17. Thanks for sharing. Congrats on marriage! Stay true to your lady!
    Dizzy Lotus likes this.
  18. powerd992

    powerd992 Fapstronaut

    Thank you, and good luck for your family, if you decide to have children, and for your life.
    I'm on day 11, I'm really starting to believe I can make it.. developing confidence, a nice dating life and removing anxiety. Those are my objectives for the next months.
    Dizzy Lotus likes this.

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