Online Dating: Dedicating Time Every Day

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by 1978, Jul 14, 2019.

  1. 1978

    1978 Fapstronaut

    190
    244
    43
    I've come to realise that the most important aspect of trying to make positive changes to your life is to have a routine. It's not about doing something to an extreme and suddenly achieving amazing results. It's about consistent regular action.

    If something is worth doing, it's probably worth doing as a regular routine. Take exercise for example. I have an app on my phone called Home Workout, and every morning (unless I'm ill or I'm planning to do other exercise later in the day) I do about 30 minutes of exercise using that app. It's about making it a part of my daily routine, the same as meditation, brushing my teeth and having a shower. It's just something that I do every day.

    The same is true with my online dating efforts. I set aside 1 hour every evening to do online dating. It doesn't matter if I don't get any matches or replies for several days, or if I haven't had a date for several weeks. All that matters is I am putting the time in every day.

    The purpose of this post is not to start a debate about whether or not online dating is a good idea. I've decided it is. If you've decided to go a different route, that's your choice and I wish you the best of luck with it. But whichever path you take, make it a regular routine.

    If something is a regular routine, it's not negotiable. You don't have to decide each time whether you are going to do it. You just do it each day because it's what you do each day. It's that simple.
     
  2. DeperateForNormality

    DeperateForNormality New Fapstronaut

    3
    6
    3
    Can't agree more. A quote from a book that I have found helpful to think about "You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems". Keep working at it!
     
  3. 1978

    1978 Fapstronaut

    190
    244
    43
  4. Zapster21

    Zapster21 Fapstronaut

    216
    1,253
    123
    Ehh...what? I have been on online dating for 3 weeks. Meet with 5 different girls and had at least 3 dates with 3 of them.

    And I haven't used more than maybe 10 mins a day. So easy to get dates...

    Don't really understand how you can call it a waste of time...
     
  5. DeepParkWater

    DeepParkWater Fapstronaut

    255
    175
    43
    Be careful with the instragram bait
     
  6. Zapster21

    Zapster21 Fapstronaut

    216
    1,253
    123
    I live in Denmark. I consider myself an average looking guy. Off course I am not overweight and I think about putting great photos in my profile. Then when I match I train on how to get girls to reply. This means commenting on something personal on her profile. This means nothing about sexual stuff or writing "Hey what's up" (That's an instant attraction killer).

    Then when I go on dates, I'm not really that desperate, because I know I can go on another date in a few days if this one fails...

    My results: 5 dates in 2 weeks, sex with 2, kissed with 3, 1 I decided to reject, and the last I am having a second date with.
     
  7. Zapster21

    Zapster21 Fapstronaut

    216
    1,253
    123
    What? Of course, real girls meet up for dates via online dating. What country are you from?

    Have you ever dated girls? It's not like the first thing I do with them is sex.
    No I go on a first date, where we go for a walk, take a drink in a bar or play minigolf. Sex is something that happens after 2nd and 3rd date.

    My only aim with my post was to show you that you are wrong about online dating. It's possible to find real girls on there. And you saying it's impossible to get sex without paying, tells me a lot about you...
     
  8. IAmLegion

    IAmLegion Fapstronaut

    1,456
    26,910
    143
    This thread escalated pretty quickly.
    Calm down you two.
     
    RiverSmoothStone likes this.
  9. Zapster21

    Zapster21 Fapstronaut

    216
    1,253
    123
    Sorry I will remove myself from the discussion :) But my point is still that online dating is possible.
     
    RiverSmoothStone and IAmLegion like this.
  10. IAmLegion

    IAmLegion Fapstronaut

    1,456
    26,910
    143
    Good man :)
    I concur ^^
     
    1978 likes this.
  11. Fide Leo

    Fide Leo Fapstronaut

    7
    35
    13
    It seems to me that both of you have different conceptions about relationships and that's why you don't get to understand each other. Online dating works, otherwise there wouldn't exist such things. Now, there are disagreements about whether online dating is right or wrong as there are disagreements as whether promiscuity is right or wrong. In many societies, and I take that Summer Adventurer belongs to one of those, promiscuity is rejected and considered as immoral. And this has as one of many effects a consideration that online dating is bad. People think that 'normal' girls would not want to look for guys who they barely know to have sex, and censure those practices. However, there are other societies were promiscuity is accepted and somehow considered as normal, many European countries have that sort of view. Their view of relationships is not so attached, and perhaps dating and getting laid would be easier, perhaps it won't.
    In my opinion it is better to stop considering online dating as a bogey. Read about biology and psychology, human nature is different than the accepted western-religious-based morality. And also you should be clear about what sort of relation you want to have. If you are just looking for some fun, without wanting to get any serious stuff, online dating might help, follow the conventions. But if you are interested in having a deeper connection with another person, not just wanting to get laid with this person, then you might find that online dating is not the appropriate thing and you should look in other directions.
    Try to be more tolerant.
     
  12. Zapster21

    Zapster21 Fapstronaut

    216
    1,253
    123
    Thank you for your post. I however believe that connections can be formed via online dating. For me it's not about getting laid. I want to find a GF in there. And I strongly believe that is possible.
     
    1978 likes this.
  13. 1978

    1978 Fapstronaut

    190
    244
    43
    To be single and not doing online dating is rather like being unemployed and not using job sites. Sure, there are many shitty jobs on job sites, but some good ones too if you take the time to search for them. I went on a date last night with a woman I met on Tinder. I wouldn't have met her if it hadn't have been for online dating. She was perfectly nice, nothing wrong with her at all. It's not going to lead to a 2nd date because we didn't click, but that just the way it goes. Dating is a number game. Just keep using the apps, keep arranging dates, and eventually I'll find someone I naturally click with.

    Of course, it's good to make efforts beyond online dating too - join groups you're interested in, chat to women you meet in day-to-day life.
     
  14. 1978

    1978 Fapstronaut

    190
    244
    43
    Wrong! The woman I went on a date with last night I matched with using the free version of Tinder. And I've been on dates with women using the free versions of POF and Bumble. And most of these women have been perfectly nice people.
     
  15. 1978

    1978 Fapstronaut

    190
    244
    43
    The trick is to not spend too long on each profile. On the swiping apps, you just swipe left or right based on the first photo. On the non-swiping sites, just take a quick look at their profile, send them a quick message, then move onto the next one. No time to waste looking at lots of photos.
     

Share This Page