Only people with 30+ days can post here!

that's one kind of meditation itslef

 

I REALLY like this approach. It feels way more positive and thus sustainable in the long run than constantly relying on whipping yourself into shape. Sure, every now and then it can be a good thing but generally speaking if you want to build a good life, you have to live a good life daily.
Self-care and self-respect rather than self-destruction and self-flagellation.

Basically that is also what helped me get to 6 years free and going strong.
I actually went DEEP into the pain that drove me to do all of this because I really wanted to understand it and see what else was out there for me.

I wish you tons of success with this and that you stay curious

@ruso exactly, that makes the decision to be in it for life so much easier. It becomes part of your lifestyle rather than having to whitknuckle it all the time. Well said.

 

Oh, and my piece of advice as someone that has been free for 6 years at this point...

It's so many things that I have changed and developed over the years.
One thing that I see in the community a lot and have already seen it years ago is the neverending need for shortcuts and quick-fixes.
That's simply not what gets you where you truly want to be and actually worsens the problem. You could even say that kind of minset is exactly what got you into this mess. And it won't be what gets you out of it.

So get to the root of it all instead.
Learn about psychology, learn about trauma (even though we don't like to think about it (which is exactly the nature of trauma lol)), how to handle it, master it and build a good life for yourself free of unnecessary weight that you've dragged around for years.

That's very vague I know but that's my brief statement

 

Thanks for your positive vibes, encouragement and well wishes Sir W, much appreciated.

 

First thing to do is read the nofap guide. After that watch iamlicid nofao videos. Find that one thing for which you are ready to give this menace up. After that, download Qustodio parental control on all your devices. Make sure someone else makes your account so that you don't get to know the password and email of the account. Do not listen to music. Stay away from bad friends. Make sure that you never use mobile devices when alone. Change your sleeping position or room. And do everything to keep it going

 

30 days,
-don't count days,
-have a motivation to not pmo other than not to pmo and wanting to be better version of yourself. when real urges hit you, that motivation flies right outta the window.
-always expect a failure to be possible around the corner. never get complacent.
-reconnect to life as it was when you where a kid and colors were bright and the sun shining

 

ULTIMATE STEP: Eliminate triggers to THE MAXIMUM!!!!

• Get a full-time job...
• Fix your character traits.
• Clean up your language from bad words and PMO-related things.
• Find a lot of things to do in your free time that doesn't have triggers (P.S. movies and games won't do, sorry )
• Use abbreviations to explain PMO things, so that it doesn't trigger you or others. Also do not speak about PMO related things explaining the processes in real situations etc (even text can trigger someone)
• Keep a counter to have more regret to lose the big number. Make it into a game.
• Fight with all your strength, when the addiction forces you to do PMO, by whispering into your ear... Don't give up even if you already watch or do, you can stop before you haven't O. Stop with this mentality - "ah, what's the point, I already did it, let's finish it and start again." NO! STOP! it even if you already opened it and watched, STOP! and GO AWAY! without finishing. This will power up your willpower.

 

I was on a loop of not getting much past 28 days but this time I haven't used PMO for 40 days plus.

The main difference this time is that I did not do internet dating.

In the UK the lockdown is lifting a little so I can go to group hikes and outdoor events to exercise my social muscles and speak to some women in real life, as my way of trying to get a date.

I found that with online dating I would see all these half naked pics of women, exchange some messages but a lot of them were onlyfans and other cons. So I would get all turned on by messaging these women but with no date or real sex to show for it.

Being turned on I couldn't get to sleep so I would either use porn or cams or the porn substitute of looking at the pics of the online dating girl and get off to those fantasies.

This time - no online dating. No PMO