Open relationship

Isn't wanting things easy how how you became an addict? You don't think there will be pain in an open relationship? News flash, pain is unavoidable. There will always be pain and there will always be problems.

 

Monogamy is not natural. It's forcefully crated artificial construct of society, the culture we live in. It's in our genes as species to have multiple partners. 95% of the people either cheat on their partners or satay in monogamous relationships constantly looking at other men/women, wanting, fantasizing, desiring, using porn to satisfy their need for more, etc. And that crates some pain. Very few people are actually happy with the one they have and never look, think or desire anybody else. So just embrace the way nature crated you. I'm all for open relationship. Simply because it's in our nature.

But if you happen to get in one don't delude yourself thinking that you will avoid all the pain. In fact you probably will have even more pain in open relationship. Because there is so much room for jealousy. And what happens when she decided that she wants commitment and you don't? For me it's standing up to my values. For you, since your motivation is fear based, it would be facing your fears. Even tho I support this type of relationship model, I don't think anything positive can come out of something that is guided by fear, like your desire to be in open relationship.

 

Monogamy is like dreaming of a jackpot.

There are some very rare truly successful examples, but for most people, it stays an illusion.

True lifelong monogamy can be achieved only between two very equivalent partners, who are 100% honest with each other and who build an excellent team with the exact same goals.

 

Theoretically it is a good idea.
It was the idea of the communes of the 1968's, and some of them survived up today.

But if you really try it, you will see that is in fact an immense challenge. It will result in an tremendous training of your social skills.

 

I did some research on this, from what I discovered open relationships eventually fail. It does take huge courage to be 100% honest and committed. I believe that is where happiness lies. There is enough trouble in the world without adding infidelity to your relationship.

 

Everybody who wants to learn more about the nature of open relationships I would recommend reading the book called "Sex at Dawn".

 

Yes, maybe.
But I recommend reading the own inner soul. It is always talking the truth.

 

When you are really 100% honest, then commitment is extremely easy.
You don't need to "commit", because you simply follow your instinct.

Courage is also not the issue. But you need lot of social skills and and lot of talking, organizing, leading.

And most importantly, you need to find the persons who are equally open and equally mature persons.

In an open relationship, nobody can lean back. When someone begins to let loose, then he / she will drop out, and the relationship ends.

 

Naaaa, I like books better.

 

Call me crazy but I believe in monogamy. I have no desire for a "side chick".

 

The concepts to keep a monogamous relationship are simple:

• Honesty
• Selflessness

Lies and selfishness ruin relationships. When lies creep in, trust dies, and then the relationship dies. When selfishness creeps in, appreciation for ones partner dies, and then the relationship dies.

Open relationships ultimately fail because the love needed within a relationship must be all or nothing. If there is no exclusivity then there isn't true love. Which is apparently the case even in the OP since he's just looking for ways to fuck more chicks.

The motto for most of the sexual revolution was "free love" but there is no such thing as "free love". This is because love is sacrificial in nature. Touché Jesus.

 

Books could be wrong, or hide the truth from you, or could even be fraudulent.
But your inner soul always talks the truth.

 

The truth is between selflessness and selfishness.
Pure selflessness is ruining a relationship as well.

That's true, but "all" does not mean "one single person". Otherwise you could only have one child as well.

 

Jumping Jiminy Cricket!!

 

Mutual self giving.

Yes, it does mean one single person. No, SnowWhite, the love you give your children is not the same as the love you give your spouse. Let's not be stupid.

 

All love is exactly the same. Love is love. It's just that sometimes it's mixed with other things like sexual attraction, attachment and so on. It's like water; we can mix it with many things to change the flavor, but that does not change the fact that water is still always the same.

 

So what are you saying? That the love you give to your children isn't true love?

 

No. I'm saying it's not the same type of love! There are different types of love. This is common sense.

 

No, there isn't. It's either love or it's not.