sohardrn
Fapstronaut
@Dares Greeneye replied on a thread in the “Abstinence, Retention, and Sexual Transmutation” section titled “ Shut out/down a girl at the gym...” on May 12th, 2022.
He was talking about staying on semen retention and not engaging with women for the sake of ogling them, but instead making 2 seconds of eye contact to open the “window of opportunity” so that if they want to open conversation, they can. At the time he was looking for other ways to open the “window” so to say. Without looking at them directly.
Personally, the way I do things is I take initiative and open conversation myself. I usually crack a joke, get them to laugh, and laugh myself to loosen any tension. I usually don’t think about ways of showing openness outside literally engaging by way of taking the initiative and starting a conversation. Recently I’ve tried making eye contact and smiling at people I’m passing while taking a walk, but usually I’m deep in thought or deep in my music and just sort of avoid them.
I was curious if you had any advice or found some better or other ways. Could you note any experiences that come to mind where you made eye contact for 2 seconds and something happened? If so, that seems like a very easy habit I can ingrain in my life that could help me tons.
Part of why I’ve been PMOing recently is because as I’ve turned 20, I’m worried about missing out on relationships. I’m worried another 5 years will pass and I’ll be alone, or that there won’t be any girls worth being with around. After 100+ days of no PMO, I installed Reddit and started scouring these AskRedditAfterDark threads to learn about people’s relationship experiences. From there I spiraled and found these r4r casual relationship subreddits and relapsed there. Since then I went to those r4r subreddits a few times and even tried using different dating apps in different ways with different rules for myself. I would still say “okay, after 100 days I’ll reward myself by asking out a girl I like.” I’ve finally decided that dating apps are just softcore porn. They reignite the same dopamine pathways for me that fire up when I’m on a porn site. I haven’t peeked once and I fight the urge to fantasize as it comes up. I’ve been focused on getting shit done and self-improvement a whole lot recently. Increases in confidence, pride, and self-worth. I’m shooting for 30 days right now, but I promise you I’ll hit a 100 again before you know it.
But again, if instead of telling myself “at X milestone I’ll go out and engage with girls because otherwise I’m missing out and shutting myself out from a whole lot of opportunities.” I think it would be much better for my mental state in this journey if there were subtle things I could do that allow a girl to open up conversation with me. Once that habit is ingrained in me, it takes the burden off my shoulders and allows me to focus on semen retention. All while allowing any girl who has interest to strike a conversation without fearing me due to a stern demeanor. I’m brown so not only is my face a little stern when I’m not smiling, but there’s also a deep rooted mysogony associated with my people’s culture which I hate.
I think I can get by and get rid of the belief that I’m closing myself off from relationship opportunities, and make myself less shy in general if I begin to just make eye contact for 2 seconds and smile at girls before getting back to what I’m doing so they at least have the chance to engage with me. And so I can more easily focus on the tasks in front of me, instead of hyperfocusing on how to make this girl like me and like being around me.
Anyway, I’d love to hear @Dares Greeneye or anyone else’s thoughts on this. How can you open a window of opportunity without compromising yourself? Or if you’d instead just open actual conversation when you’re interested in a girl how would you do that? Or if you focus on semen retention or sexual transmutation (the latter of which I’m super interested in), how do you convince yourself not to fall to FOMO or the fear that you’re missing out on something in your twenties?
He was talking about staying on semen retention and not engaging with women for the sake of ogling them, but instead making 2 seconds of eye contact to open the “window of opportunity” so that if they want to open conversation, they can. At the time he was looking for other ways to open the “window” so to say. Without looking at them directly.
Personally, the way I do things is I take initiative and open conversation myself. I usually crack a joke, get them to laugh, and laugh myself to loosen any tension. I usually don’t think about ways of showing openness outside literally engaging by way of taking the initiative and starting a conversation. Recently I’ve tried making eye contact and smiling at people I’m passing while taking a walk, but usually I’m deep in thought or deep in my music and just sort of avoid them.
I was curious if you had any advice or found some better or other ways. Could you note any experiences that come to mind where you made eye contact for 2 seconds and something happened? If so, that seems like a very easy habit I can ingrain in my life that could help me tons.
Part of why I’ve been PMOing recently is because as I’ve turned 20, I’m worried about missing out on relationships. I’m worried another 5 years will pass and I’ll be alone, or that there won’t be any girls worth being with around. After 100+ days of no PMO, I installed Reddit and started scouring these AskRedditAfterDark threads to learn about people’s relationship experiences. From there I spiraled and found these r4r casual relationship subreddits and relapsed there. Since then I went to those r4r subreddits a few times and even tried using different dating apps in different ways with different rules for myself. I would still say “okay, after 100 days I’ll reward myself by asking out a girl I like.” I’ve finally decided that dating apps are just softcore porn. They reignite the same dopamine pathways for me that fire up when I’m on a porn site. I haven’t peeked once and I fight the urge to fantasize as it comes up. I’ve been focused on getting shit done and self-improvement a whole lot recently. Increases in confidence, pride, and self-worth. I’m shooting for 30 days right now, but I promise you I’ll hit a 100 again before you know it.
But again, if instead of telling myself “at X milestone I’ll go out and engage with girls because otherwise I’m missing out and shutting myself out from a whole lot of opportunities.” I think it would be much better for my mental state in this journey if there were subtle things I could do that allow a girl to open up conversation with me. Once that habit is ingrained in me, it takes the burden off my shoulders and allows me to focus on semen retention. All while allowing any girl who has interest to strike a conversation without fearing me due to a stern demeanor. I’m brown so not only is my face a little stern when I’m not smiling, but there’s also a deep rooted mysogony associated with my people’s culture which I hate.
I think I can get by and get rid of the belief that I’m closing myself off from relationship opportunities, and make myself less shy in general if I begin to just make eye contact for 2 seconds and smile at girls before getting back to what I’m doing so they at least have the chance to engage with me. And so I can more easily focus on the tasks in front of me, instead of hyperfocusing on how to make this girl like me and like being around me.
Anyway, I’d love to hear @Dares Greeneye or anyone else’s thoughts on this. How can you open a window of opportunity without compromising yourself? Or if you’d instead just open actual conversation when you’re interested in a girl how would you do that? Or if you focus on semen retention or sexual transmutation (the latter of which I’m super interested in), how do you convince yourself not to fall to FOMO or the fear that you’re missing out on something in your twenties?