Awesome. I'm checking in. I've made it to Khumbu Icefall now! (Am I doing this right?) Best of luck to everyone!
I'm checking in for the last two stages that I missed xD. I should have checked in Oct 29th but I was busy. Anyway I'm now at... *Western Cwm* and Nov 19th will encounter a randomly selected challenge! I'll use Random.org to make sure that it's truly random!
I'm now at *Camp |||* Very exciting! I'm ready for the continuing challenges because I can do it! Just because my dad's abusive has nothing to do with me. It has everything to do with his own inadequacies and glitches. I'm an amazing person just the way I am and into what I'm growing into. I will continue being amazing regardless of what happens financially, career wise, socially or morally. I refuse to base my self worth on anything other than unconditional love and acceptance. Because we are are unconditionally lovable and amazing. Keep up the fight and make sure you know that the real enemy is inside your head, telling you that failure is inevitable, that you might as well give up, that no one will care what you achieve. This is not true at all. Failure only is inevitable if you allow yourself to fail, failing only occurs when you stop trying. Have you stopped trying? I don't think so. Someone will care what you achieve and that someone is yourself, you don't need external validation for what your doing. Your own internal validation is completely right! You ARE better off without it, you ARE worth enough to stop cowering behind it, to face your fears as the truely amazing person that you are. Let me tell you something, fears work by tricking you into doing something that hurts you by making empty threats. That you're this or your that and therefor to give up! If I were to tell you I were afraid of heights and I wanted to get over that, what would you tell me to do? Why face them, again and again until I'm no longer scared of heights! This is exactly the same thing you must do with these fears. In case you don't know what deep fears are here are mine: Being abandoned by everyone I care about, just because of who I am Never completing The Project and if I did who would care about it? Never having the perfect relationship with my dad. The last one is a deep fear that I will move into reality. I will never have a perfect relationship with my dad, he has his own issues, that have nothing to do with me that makes him unable to care for me the way a father should. I therefor will morn his death as my father and welcome him as a parent. I won't ever have inside jokes, just father and son memories, having a fathar figure that I can model off of when I'm a father, meaningful converstaions, deep connection. However I will gain peace of mind, as a parent, I expect him to treat me kindly and courteously, I don't expect close emotional bonds or good father son memories. I'm lowering the bar and as such no longer blame myself for his issues, for his inability to form a strong relationship with me. I am who I choose to be. I am here. I accept and move on. I do not worry or stress about the unchangeable and am ready for the next challenges.
Hey! I was going to go up to the next level, but today is the 30 day challenge and my random number (from random.org) was 7. It required 120 days for me to survive the challenge. I'm only at 72 so back to base camp! Hello peoples! How is everyone, ready to get to the top? I'm here with you! Next 30 day checkin Dec 19th.
