Opinion on real world women you see

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by bigbuford, Feb 5, 2017.

  1. bigbuford

    bigbuford Guest

    How many of you guys would recommend just not even looking at a pretty women and not even talking to them in a romantic interest until 90 days PMO free have past? I keep having my mind jump to women and still staring and saying to myself imma talk to them yet not. Also does seeing pretty women and thinking like a few second release any unnecessary dopamine that kills your reset? What are your perspectives on this idea and trying to avoid the sight of women you may be interested in or find attractive? Also on the idea of not even approaching women until you reach 90?
     
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  2. NickyP

    NickyP Fapstronaut

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    Here's how I see it:

    The problem we have is is a substance addiction...It is the specific pathway between PMO and dopamine. You will continue to release dopamine when you do exciting things in your life. Our mission involves strengthening those dopamine pathways, while eliminating the PMO -> Dopamine pathway.

    Women are NOT the problem. Be careful you don't blame women for what is happening. If you have a complex about talking to women, do not conflate that with quitting PMO. Face the triggers as they come WITHOUT fear, not full of fear.

    Some examples that come to mind about the fine line between triggers.
    -An alcoholic can handle the sight of a beer can, but may not choose enter a bar full of it.
    -A new vegan trying to go plant based can look at meat, but may not want to enter a beef kill plant.
    -a PMO addict can talk to a woman, but will want to avoid a strip club, a whorehouse, or a massage parlor.

    Let me know if that's helpful my friend. Posting here is the most important thing I do for my own PMO addiction.
     
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  3. bigbuford

    bigbuford Guest

    Just know I do not blame women for MY problem. I should of meant that I will not talk to them in terms of pursing anything past common interest and just friendly terms also.
     
  4. NickyP

    NickyP Fapstronaut

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    Right on! I didn't mean to pass judgement or assume anything about you.

    So I'll suggest as a general rule that you do not let yourself think about getting into someone's pants until they think about getting into yours. You will have much more success anyway, btw!

    Again, I do think I'm right that the pathway of dopamine release from friendly/witty/smart/hot girl in front of you is completely different than the addiction release from digital display PMO.

    On the other hand, there are sex addicts for whom the real life pathways are damaged.
     
  5. Buddhabro

    Buddhabro Fapstronaut

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    I feel the ultimate goal is to increase actual human interaction and not just sexual gratification. Talking to women as people and not sexual objects is key. Porn programs the mind to see them only as a means to an end. Breaking this habit will have to be dealt with sooner or later.
    Have no fear!
     
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  6. Honestly, I think it's unrealistic and ascetic to do that. What could you possibly learn by isolating yourself even further? PMO is isolating enough as it is.
     
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  7. bigbuford

    bigbuford Guest

    Shoot one thing I would learn to do is to treat women friendly and stop looking at them as objects. Right now I can't even look at a good looking chick without doing the thinking of "man she is pretty I really want to talk to her" even tho the PMO thing got me on a whole other planet than everyone else lol. Maybe it is also what those in my faith (Christian) would say to someone in this situation. "Stay away from women until you conquer this thing". It obviously would have its benefits tho for a guy like me in this situation. I can barely even do a week away from PMO. Until I get my mind right, it would do wonders in staying away from thoughts of relationships at that level.
     
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  8. bigbuford

    bigbuford Guest

    Let me make sure to emphasize I do not mean talking to women at all, just approaching them outside of necessity for the sake of romance or keeping relationships towards that. I'm also pretty bad at knowing when and how to approach them in public. I could say or try to in private but from what I read about how women feel thats a no no.
     
  9. Ericinomaha

    Ericinomaha Fapstronaut

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    Bigbuford, I wondered something similar today. When I was in line at the post office, I saw an attractive woman walking away. She was nicely shaped, and I wanted to slip away and MO. In every day life, with women wearing yoga pants, short skirts and showing cleavage, I find it impossible to not become aroused. I have no intention of avoiding interaction though. I'm married and intend to stay that way, so there's no real need to interact anyway other than casual conversation. Best thing I've found is to just try to look away. Focus on your goal and remember why it's better to quit.
     
  10. Christopher123

    Christopher123 Fapstronaut

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    I avoid going to malls and beaches because I too find it impossible not to get aroused from leggings,yoga pants, and short shorts.
     

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