Hey guys! As the title suggests, I'll talk about some fetishes and there are going to be triggers. If you are easily triggered, please turn back.
So, I've been doing a lot of reading into the psychology of fetishes lately in order to learn more about me and how certain fetishes developed and I would like your thoughts. I've got quite a lot of fetishes myself but the main ones are latex/rubber/leather and BDSM(more specifically dominating/degrading women).
A lot of posts here talk about escalation and how porn helps you acquire a taste for a lot of fetishes so I wanted to see if thats true. I once had a streak of 93 days and towards the end, I remember sometimes thinking of the fetish but it wouldn't excite me as much. The thing is, I didnt know if I needed more time to completely get over it or If it was there from the beginning. Like, I could easily forget all the other types of porn but not the ones regarding my fetishes. This made me want to read more about them and understand them more because I believe all fetishes have a psychological source that you need to work on in order to make them go away. I read books and stuff on the internet and I made some connections(In my specific case) that I would like to share.
First off is latex/rubber/leather. This one had to do a lot with the substitution of skin with a different substance. You'd think its weird that someone would be turned on by something non sexual right? Well, thats actually the case with a lot of fetishes. A lot of them involve the arousal by something that is not a naturally sex oriented area(breasts, vagina). Examples of these are feet, bellybuttons, stockings, heels, the list goes on. This represents a corruption of the persons sense of intimacy. People naturally long to be close to other PEOPLE and are attracted to their sexual parts. Fetishes develop through the persons subconscious belief that they cant have intimacy with another person or that they dont deserve it. This can happen during the teenage years when the sexuality starts to mature and it sort of mixes with the persons emotions. For me this was when I was in high school and I was fat and ugly so I got bullied and I never really had the chance to have normal sex or intimacy for that matter. Coincidentally, this was when my PMO addiction began. This could have caused that corruption of the natural system. This fetish goes away with NoFap as it helps re-connect your interest to the actual person and raise your self esteem. Always know that you ARE worthy of love.
BDSM is similar as before, however, this was here from the beginning for me and it only got stronger in high school. I always wondered why I fantasized torturing and humiliating women, I thought I was a psycho. During my teenage years, due to bullying and social isolation, my self esteem was really low. I felt powerless around women and I wanted them to feel the same way I did.I wanted to feel powerful. I also noticed that this fetish is at its worst when I'm sexually frustrated(all the time lol) so actually practicing mindfulness and letting go of anger/hate helped reduce it for me. A recent experience that helped me see this was when a girl broke my heart and it sent me into a relapse. The relapse was because of a graphic fantasy of me publicly humiliating, and degrading her and I see now that that was my anger mixed with sexual frustration as before I only fantasized kissing and caressing her.
Those are the answers I found for myself. Do you guys agree with the points I made?Also, can anyone share how they think their fetish developed and how they deal with it?
So, I've been doing a lot of reading into the psychology of fetishes lately in order to learn more about me and how certain fetishes developed and I would like your thoughts. I've got quite a lot of fetishes myself but the main ones are latex/rubber/leather and BDSM(more specifically dominating/degrading women).
A lot of posts here talk about escalation and how porn helps you acquire a taste for a lot of fetishes so I wanted to see if thats true. I once had a streak of 93 days and towards the end, I remember sometimes thinking of the fetish but it wouldn't excite me as much. The thing is, I didnt know if I needed more time to completely get over it or If it was there from the beginning. Like, I could easily forget all the other types of porn but not the ones regarding my fetishes. This made me want to read more about them and understand them more because I believe all fetishes have a psychological source that you need to work on in order to make them go away. I read books and stuff on the internet and I made some connections(In my specific case) that I would like to share.
First off is latex/rubber/leather. This one had to do a lot with the substitution of skin with a different substance. You'd think its weird that someone would be turned on by something non sexual right? Well, thats actually the case with a lot of fetishes. A lot of them involve the arousal by something that is not a naturally sex oriented area(breasts, vagina). Examples of these are feet, bellybuttons, stockings, heels, the list goes on. This represents a corruption of the persons sense of intimacy. People naturally long to be close to other PEOPLE and are attracted to their sexual parts. Fetishes develop through the persons subconscious belief that they cant have intimacy with another person or that they dont deserve it. This can happen during the teenage years when the sexuality starts to mature and it sort of mixes with the persons emotions. For me this was when I was in high school and I was fat and ugly so I got bullied and I never really had the chance to have normal sex or intimacy for that matter. Coincidentally, this was when my PMO addiction began. This could have caused that corruption of the natural system. This fetish goes away with NoFap as it helps re-connect your interest to the actual person and raise your self esteem. Always know that you ARE worthy of love.
BDSM is similar as before, however, this was here from the beginning for me and it only got stronger in high school. I always wondered why I fantasized torturing and humiliating women, I thought I was a psycho. During my teenage years, due to bullying and social isolation, my self esteem was really low. I felt powerless around women and I wanted them to feel the same way I did.I wanted to feel powerful. I also noticed that this fetish is at its worst when I'm sexually frustrated(all the time lol) so actually practicing mindfulness and letting go of anger/hate helped reduce it for me. A recent experience that helped me see this was when a girl broke my heart and it sent me into a relapse. The relapse was because of a graphic fantasy of me publicly humiliating, and degrading her and I see now that that was my anger mixed with sexual frustration as before I only fantasized kissing and caressing her.
Those are the answers I found for myself. Do you guys agree with the points I made?Also, can anyone share how they think their fetish developed and how they deal with it?