Other Resources for Self-Improvement

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Enki, Apr 5, 2017.

  1. Enki

    Enki Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys, Enki here.

    Many of us know that in order to overcome addiction, it must be supplemented by building a better life for ourselves (the reason we became addicted to PMO in the first place was to escape a life we didn't like anyway).

    "The secret to change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new."
    - Socrates.


    So besides nofap, has anyone found any communities or resources for self-improvement in various areas of their life? This can include anything from fitness, socializing, dating, spirituality, career, school, mindfulness, etc. ANYTHING you like that helps you improve. Hobbies are also accepted, no matter how esoteric. But the big four categories of focus will be social, business, school, and physical well-being.

    Let me share a couple of my own for starters. All of these are free.

    Social
    1. The Art of Charm podcast - I listen to the "toolbox" episodes of the art of charm whenever I get the chance. It's a lifestyle podcast that teaches you how to incorporate high level (and fundamental) social skills into your life. It's designed so that socializing/networking is not just something you do, it becomes an ongoing layer of your life. They also have at least three high level people interviewed each week. These guys give away a TON of value that will be too much here so just check them out if you're interested.
    2. Charisma on Command - find him on youtube. Charlie breaks down the habits of Charismatic people into bite-sized pieces so you can apply it to your own life asap.
    School
    1. Ted talks - Many of you have heard of these. It's not directly related to school, but it does help to expand your mind. This is on my "to watch list" so I can see it when I can eat.
    2. edx.org - This site has TONS of free online college+ courses taught from schools like MIT, UC Berkeley, Stanford and the like. If you want to just learn, most of the courses are free, some courses are paid ($1500 was the highest I saw). You can also get certified if you want but it can cost anywhere from $5-$50 from what I've seen.
    3. Khanacademy -
    Business
    1. The Smart Passive Income Podcast - This show gives you knowledge, resources and steps for how to create your own (usually online) business and eventually make passive income on the side.
    2. Self-Made Man Podcast - So far, I've only listened to one episode but it was so good, that I just had to add it here. The host went in depth with his interview about how to start a company.
    Fitness
    1. Reddit's r/fitness - It's a community of people who share resources and knowledge about how to get more fit. It's mostly about lifting and diet, but there are full-fledged guides over on their wiki page.
    Other
    1. [Motivation] The Ziglar show - This was the show I constantly listened to to drag me out of my depression and motivate me to take action in my life. It gave me hope for a new life and let me stay on nofap longer. It's also the gateway to help me find the rest of the resources here. You could say it's the self-improvement Grandaddy.
    2. [Skills - Varied] Lynda.com
    3. [Being a Man] r/everymanshouldknow
    4. [Being a Man] The Art of Manliness Podcast
    I don't have time to get into the nitty gritty details now, but if I get enough feedback (and reminders), I'll continue to add more value and provide links to this in the near future.

    P.S. I use the "Podcast Addict" app on Android to listen to any podcasts I like. I can get up to 9 channels and download as many episodes as I want to listen to. Again, this is all for free (unless you decide to dive deep and buy their courses).

    ==================
    Resources shared by community
    Disclaimer: Although I have heard and consumed some of these resources, I have not personally checked all of them myself.

    Books
    1. The Secret - Rhonda Byrne
    2. See You at the Top - Zig Ziglar
    3. 16 Laws of Success - Napoleon Hill
    4. Think and Grow Rich - Napoleon Hill
    5. The magic of thinking Big - David J. Schwartz
    6. The magic of believing - Claude M. Bristol
    7. Rich dad poor dad - Robert Kiyosaki
    8. The new psycho-cybernetics - Maxwell Maltz
    9. How to win friends and influence people - Dale Carnegie

    Credit
     
    Last edited: Apr 18, 2017
  2. The |E|volutionary

    The |E|volutionary Fapstronaut

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    Hey Enki. A couple of your points were cut off and didn't show entirely. Thought I'd let you know because you're making a good thread here.
     
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  3. Enki

    Enki Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the heads up.

    Each time I post, I only set aside a few minutes of time so I can focus on taking action in my life; the post will most likely be cut off while I'm editing it. However, as long as I keep getting alerts about this thread (likes and comments), I will continue to come back to it and add more value to it.

    Glad you can find value from this :)
     
  4. The |E|volutionary

    The |E|volutionary Fapstronaut

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    Great minds and all that, mate. So I'll join in with you to make this thread a sort of round table for self improvement. There really is value in this discussion if we direct it properly. Expect me to contribute as well.
     
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  5. Enki

    Enki Fapstronaut

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    Glad to hear it!

    After reading your signature, it seems like we're on the same page. I like it. My goal is to evolve every single day and leave behind the weak shell of a man I once was. Currently, I'm searching for people to share that journey with.
     
  6. The |E|volutionary

    The |E|volutionary Fapstronaut

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    THAT is what I like to hear (read in this case)!

    What got you started on your journey, if I may ask?
     
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  7. Enki

    Enki Fapstronaut

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    Well, there are two "starts" to my journey.
    The first was when I got really deep into a depression and felt no way out, so I worked hard, pushed through and gained a lot of success through nofap.

    The second start was a year ago, when I realized that throughout all that success, I felt a lot of pain. Mostly because I didn't really know how to handle relationships (sometimes even basic friendships) or feelings that well. I usually ran away from them by improving ANOTHER area of my life instead. I realized that people will not always be there for you, and even the friends I thought I had were not really going to be there for me when I needed them.

    That's why I wanted to transform every single day and become a strong man myself, and attract strong people to me in the process.
     
  8. The |E|volutionary

    The |E|volutionary Fapstronaut

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    As I am starting nightmare mode nofap, I can say that there is a certain--put it this way. I'm preaching to the choir, given the nature of the forum (anti-pmo/porn addiction recovery). That said, when you can beat something that's been part of your make-up since you hit puberty you feel a certain sense of...greatness? Is that fair to say? That's similar to my beginning as well. I 'officially' began walking the path in winter 2015, but I've been working my way there/improving since what? Eighteen, maybe nineteen years of age?

    I cannot express enough how much I agree with the words in bold. In fact, that there was part of my epiphany that got me into self-improvement and evolution. It was one of my FIRST areas of improvement -- even back before I became dedicated to constant improvement! Back when I was still negative. Still a loser. You just...you're so right that me agreeing with you will make you less right, only by me trying to adequately describe how correct you are. HUGE kudos from me, man. We gotta swap stories here because I promise you, if you hear some of the first lickings I took that made me realise what you said is the way to go, you'll think I'm trying to suck up. I warn you now: No sucking up here. I promise it's just coincidental. Oddly coincidental, but coincidental.

    You cannot rely on anyone but yourself. That's why it's SELF-improvement. Do don't it for Billy Bob, that hot girl on the cheerleading team, or Chris Evans. Do it for the person staring back at you in the mirror. Depending on circumstance, they could be fuel. You know. Become a better fighter to keep that bully at bay. Grow a spine and develop assertion to put your co-worker in their rightful place. Create an air of charisma and swagger to draw the ladies in and keep them coming. You get the point. When you realise...mate, when you realise just how much power awaits those who walk the path, it's--I think I need a macro image of Pacha. Someone, get on that!

    I can tell you right now that if that's your goal, you're on the right track! Starting out, I wanted to bring other people into the fold, but I decided against that because I began this thing solo, so I can do it solo. That's not to say that connecting with like minds (as you and I do in this very thread) is a bad thing. On the contrary. It's just not a necessary thing. I've read a post on reddit (yes, I know), in the r/selfimprovement section (trash). Some fellow said that if you improve for yourself you'll fail, and that you NEED someone to improve for. And it's like, "whoa dude! Stop!" Talk like that is the opposite of self improvement. It's not evolution. It's devolution. Every day I strive to achieve perfection. A life without improvement? What the hell kind of life is that anyway?
     
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  9. Enki

    Enki Fapstronaut

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    Nightmare mode?

    I believe you. There is no way in hell this is just a coincidence. After reading your post, I've realized that the only people I know who want to evolve and grow stronger are the people who have realized this. They "want it as badly as they want to breathe" because they know that if they are going to survive, THEY DO NEED TO IMPROVE AND GET STRONGER. Relying on other people will not always help them get there, at the very least in the beginning.

    Exactly my current project. And it's not just to bring in the ladies either. This is actually a necessary skill to bring people to you. It helps you LEAD. I think of women coming to you as simply a side effect of your leadership and strength. That's also exactly why I put social resources (Art of Charm, Charisma on Command) as the first on my list.

    I agree with you about doing self-improvement for yourself and I agree that the saying "you'll fail if self-improvement is only for yourself" is BS. The only thing I would like to add that is different is that, at a certain point in the self-improvement process, you realize that you're severely limiting yourself if you don't learn how to deal with people.

    In my opinion, you find your direction and work hard on yourself first, then once you gain momentum and realize everything is slow, then you should bring other people to you as well. Mentors who are decades ahead of you in wisdom, accountability partners with something else to bring to the table, and people who aren't as far in your journey as you are (so you can teach them what you know and therefore reinforce it in your own mind) are all necessary to accelerate your growth once you've worked hard on yourself, for yourself, already.
     
  10. I Free I

    I Free I Guest

    Thanks for the information . Much appreciated .
     
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  11. Enki

    Enki Fapstronaut

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    You're welcome. Feel free to contribute as well if you know of anything.
     
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  12. The |E|volutionary

    The |E|volutionary Fapstronaut

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    Finally. I can post on this shitty forum again. Big ups to the losers who muted me. ANYWAY . . .

    Exactly. Rather than the usual loser who relapses yet posts a thread telling people they will always be addicts, I'm of a new breed that seeks to improve unapologetically. Improve or bust, I always say. 99% of the new nofappers will ask when they should quit or if nofap is worth it. The thing is, by asking us those questions, they're already setting themselves up for failure. What has to happen is they have to hit their rock bottom. They have to reach the point where enough is enough FOR THEM. We cannot make them improve. That's not the way this works. They have to want it. THEY have to WANT it. I kept repeating this on r/selfimprovement but no one grasps this elementary concept.


    Oh yeah. I'm 100% with you there. This forum is mostly populated by betas, so they mostly post threads about how to score with the ladies. Nothing wrong with that. I'm all about the fair sex, however, they are a luxury, not a priority. Improvement, evolution and growth, first and foremost. I've never been one to actively pursue leadership, because I think that 99.9% of humans have no business being in any sort of power (hell, look at this forum's staff for a prime example of that). But I've always ended up stepping into that role at one point or another. I'm working on being not only an effective leader, but a DIFFERENT leader. One that isn't part of the 99.9%.


    Dealing with people has nothing to do with improving for them. You can 'deal with people' and still self-improve. In other words, yes it's a good skill to have (dealing with people). But it isn't wise to make them the centre of your improvement. Hell, humans aren't even in my self-improvement periphery.


    With me, I'm going solo, mainly because my self-improvement journey began 100% because of me. No quote, no wise words, no living soul put the idea in my head to get better. I did that. It's interesting to discuss how each of our styles differ and how they connect/relate. You're more of a teacher, while I take a more Buddhist approach (will respond if asked, but will not preach). I don't preach because 1) my ego isn't the size of a small planet 2) I don't really know shit about anything (and I'd go as far as saying most don't either), and 3) I don't need to; self-improvement speaks for itself. Unlike all the ass-backwards religious dogma in this world, I don't need rules or coercion to bring people to me (if I wanted to), because I 'preach' by EXAMPLE. People will be able to SEE and FEEL the benefits of self-improvement, of Kaioism, for themselves. The proof is me and inside of me. What's better than that!? NOTHING I TELL YOU!

    We should keep this discussion up because I'm sure we both have a lot to learn from each other. And the more we learn, the more we can improve on our improvements!
     
    Last edited: Apr 10, 2017
  13. Enki

    Enki Fapstronaut

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    I like that. Improving unapologetically is actually something that I struggle with. Maybe it's a mindset thing, but even if I want self-improvement badly, there is still a voice in my head that, although it's okay to have ambitions, don't improve too much that you make the people around you insecure. I know now that this is utter bullshit and I'm working to ignore that voice and act anyway.

    I can see where you're coming from here, and it makes sense; people who are not capable are not fit to be in power. Still, I will have to disagree here. Leadership means assuming responsibility - including mistakes, successes, compliments, and criticisms - for a given area. People who don't step up and learn how to lead often end up blaming others for their own lack of ability because, hey, they're "not the ones who brought them to where they are now. 'It's not my fault. It must be yours. Fix it, or help me to fix it.'" Also, most people aren't BORN natural leaders, they are created from pressure, necessity, or just consistent exposure. Although people don't have the business to be in any sort of power, it must be done, otherwise there can be no SIGNIFICANT accelerated progress for the human race. The people will grow into the leaders with pressure.

    This seems like a great idea in the beginning, but later on, when you've gotten to the point in your journey when you already have the skills you need, it will be time to share it with the world. There will come a time when self-improvement by itself is no longer enough. Your gifts must be shared with the world and used to create the impact you want in the world. Nobody in this world knows everything or can do everything, but EVERY PERSON that you can hold a conversation with has spent their whole life learning something and getting good at it. It would be a shame not to be able to bring them together.

    The way I see it, if your mission is to impact the world, then improving yourself to become the type of man who understands people and who people are drawn to is the next step of the improvement journey. Leadership comes after you've already built your skills.

    Humans only have enough time in their lives to perfect a very narrow set of skills (if they can perfect it at all). Impact, significance, and change come from bringing people together.

    I would like to end this by saying that I'm not trying to preach to you. I simply am stating my own view of the world because I want to learn from you and possibly add value to you with my own view. After all, we both know we don't know much about everything.
     
  14. The |E|volutionary

    The |E|volutionary Fapstronaut

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    Exactly. Other people are their own problem. Not yours. Focus on the self! Think about it like this: You felt insecure due to someone before. Their good looks, their height, their success (especially with women). Did they know, or even care that they made you feel that way? Or better yet, PMO. Do you think that those who don't suffer from this addiction care about anyone here? They don't. So if you put in the work to blossom into a badass, why should you? They didn't. Nor will the people you make feel insecure if THEY improve. The odd one out here is you, and you don't want to be a devo while everyone else is evolving, do you?


    Hm. My self-improvement has resulted in an ego that doesn't NEED to lead. Needing to lead is a sign of a large ego and insecurity, which are antithetical to self-improvement, as I'll assume you're aware of. Sure, great leaders are made and rarely ever born, and those who have earned their way deserve their props for putting in the work to get there. Still, I'm always skeptical of those in authority. I'll expand on this in a following post since what you said in the next paragraph connects to this one.


    Mega BS here. Only because, again, this journey of mine was 100% thanks to me. Not anyone else. Self-improvement solo will always be enough because that's what got me on the track. Investing in myself. For me, other people are a passtime at best and a distraction at worst. And like I said, I don't need to lead. I'm no prophet, I'm no messiah, saviour or god. I'm just a mofo trying to achieve greatness. Trying to become someone else. Trying to become...something else. I'm only recently coming around to the idea of networking with like minds, as the concept of a 'Round Table' intrigues me. A sort of union or brotherhood of people who live awesome lives, both solo and united. Who come together to discuss how to hack life, be awesome and improve. Sharing knowledge and all that. I'm not yelling at you or anything, by the way. It's not like you're telling me I'll always be an addict while relapsing or something. I'm just harsh when it comes to this sort of thing because it's tough love that got me out of my rut, and it's what I needed years ago. I told myself to quit with the bullshit and get serious. That no twenty-something should be that much of a glaring loser. That's how men -- not babies -- learn and grow.

    So while I'll have to say "no" to your bit about needing other people (as I don't and never will), I'll say that I'm beginning to see the merit to networking and connecting with LIKE-MINDED PEOPLE (key words there). As you want to learn from me, I want to learn from you. I'm sure we both have something to offer the conversation, and that's what matters. This ain't about being better or "schooling" you in some non-existent debate. Because this ain't a debate. It's a meeting place where two SI-minded peeps can share ideas and hopefully, come out better prepared against the forces of devolution. Am I making sense?
     
  15. overclocked

    overclocked Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for the resources @Enki ! I'm just getting into self improvement. I want to make more out of myself.
    I don't understand your frustration with NoFap. I mean you said yourself only a small group of people are actually improving themselves so you know this. What's the problem?
     
  16. silenteagle

    silenteagle Fapstronaut

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    Great piece of advice!
     
  17. Alan15

    Alan15 Fapstronaut

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    Best of self help/improvement books:

    16 laws of success
    Think and grow rich
    The magic of thinking big
    The magic of believing
    Rich dad poor dad
    The new psychocybernetics
    How to win friends and influence people
     
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  18. Alan15

    Alan15 Fapstronaut

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    I think you are right! I am the only problem i'll ever have and Im the only solution. Our success is not dependent on anything else but ourselves and no one will ever come to our "rescue" to help. But it has indeed a huge benefitial effect to hang around with like minded people.. Your income is going to be the average of your 5 best friends..
     
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  19. Enki

    Enki Fapstronaut

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    I've read or at least heard of almost all of these except for the 16 laws of success.

    Mind if I add these to the original post? Of course, I would give you credit.
     
  20. Alan15

    Alan15 Fapstronaut

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    Of course :D i'd like to add the secret and see you at the top, 16 laws of success is the predecessor of think and grow rich but it was 1100 pages long and no one wanted to read it because of it's lenght so it was shortened..
    Have you ever heard of kevin trudeau's your wish is your command? You can listen to it on youtube, it's lifechanging :)
     
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