Over 100 days PM free! Lessons learned

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Gandalf the White, Nov 28, 2019.

  1. Hey,

    Not religious myself so can’t relate to the sin part.

    But it sounds like a good first step is to identify why you have insomnia.

    Are you using electronics late/in bed? Screens tend to wake us up.
    Or are you stressing about anything? Maybe meditation.
    I've very bad at getting enough sleep myself, what works for me is to leave all electronics outside my bedroom about 8-9 hours before I'm getting up.
    Then reading a book or newspaper (printed, nothing electronics) really gets me to not think about a bunch of other things.

    Whatever you do you have to get out of the mindset of using PMO as a stress reliver.
    It's very common.
    It was/is for me as well.
    But it's obviously a vicious cycle.
    Force yourself to be rational, knowing that if you skip PMO, go to bed early, read and relax you will quickly start to feel clearer and more focused.

    I used to stay up till 3-4 am when I had to get up at 6 am, edging to porn.
    Obviously edging for 5 hours and then orgasming, sleeping poorly for 2-3 hours and then getting up made me feel absolutely miserable.
    Couldn't focus, couldn't properly be social.

    So I see where you are coming from.
    But you have to break the cycle one day at a time. Stay busy until you go to bed, read a book and try to sleep. It should come with time.
    If you do all that and you STILL have insomnia you should see a doctor.
    But I would try the above first because nobody sleeps well if they are watching screens, PMO'ing and not going to bed.
     
    slb_123 likes this.
  2. Enigma897

    Enigma897 Fapstronaut

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    That's an extremely good post gandalf, thanks for it!
    Do you have any advice for me as a 17 year old who has always been single but since i've been going on good streaks (8 days is A LOT to me but i know i can definitely do better) i'm very keen on talking to girls my age and generally starting a healthy relationship rather than one-night stands (i don't use dating sites since im not even 18...). What do you think mate?
     
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  3. First of all, great first step trying to get rid of your PMO addiction. 8 days is no joke, congrats on that, keep up the good work.
    The habit only gets worse and the consequences more severe, you are taking responsibility a full decade earlier than I am and I can't truly express in words how much I wish I would have done that and how much better the last decade of my life would have been if I had gotten my act together at 17 instead of trying now at 27.
    Dating, sex, general peace of mind and being more content with who I am. The university years and how much more fun and interesting they could have been.
    So take it from somebody who can't go back in time, keep doing what you are doing:)

    I checked out your journal, you are doing a good job logging honestly.

    Having said that, I won't pretend I have loads of advice to give to somebody in your situation and at your age. Because personally my dating mostly occurs via tinder and similar apps.
    I'm guessing you are still in school? Or are you working?
    I'm finding that setting goals is always a good thing, even for more everyday tasks. Otherwise it can easily happen that a month or six or twelve disappear without having actively worked towards changing something.
    In my case i set some goals regarding sleep, training, eating.
    I also indirectly set a goal to start dating which I did via tinder and similar apps/sites.

    It has helped me grow and has helped a lot with my PMO journey. Without focus on sleep, training and dating I wouldn't have gotten the streak I have now.

    You already seem to be in a better position than most, you are taking charge of a bad habit and you are looking for serious meaningful relationships.
    Maybe set a goal for asking a person out within a time frame (a crush or just somebody you think is a nice person).
    Work on your confidence and the rest will most likely come somewhat automatically.
    So maybe exercise, eat well, sleep plenty, if there are areas you are insecure about such as dressing right, certain skills or whatever then work on those.

    I feel like I'm a much more confident person now than I was 80 days ago because of my streak, because of dating, because of getting in better shape, because of doing better at my job since I sleep more etc.
    And once you start feeling better about yourself that generally shows and makes other people feel better about you as well.

    That's quite a rant, and fairly generic. Not sure if it helps at all. In short, keep killing the PMO streak and you will get there I think:)
     
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  4. Fada1

    Fada1 Fapstronaut

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    I hope to get where you are soon. Thanks for the motivation
     
    Gandalf the White likes this.
  5. Thanks for the kind words Fada1.
    Like I tried to make clear in my post. I was far gone.
    If i can make it this far, anybody can.
    Having said that I am humble to the fact that I'm not "done" or "cured".
    But it's a start. And I know now that anybody can get here if they just try to focus on getting past one day at a time and set up some helpful habits.
    Best of luck
     
  6. Huge success on your part! You really motivated me to stay on track. I love the layout of the post, it's very neat. Totally agree with the fact that you need to take care of your entire life, not just PMO. Hope to read more of your posts in the future.
     
    Gandalf the White likes this.
  7. Thanks Tommy means a lot! Stay the course it will make you feel better for sure:)
     
    Tommy1235 likes this.
  8. Congrats my friend!. It's so motivating to see how are you overcoming this addiction and the steps that you took to make it possible.
     
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  9. Supination

    Supination Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for sharing!
    The feeling before you're going to have sex while having PIED is scary as fk so i feel you! The first time i had sex with PIED i Also took a pill(tadafil which does the same as cialis\viagra) "just in case". It does help mentally and gives peace in mind just as you described.
    Although you might want to avoid it in the future and heal naturaly in order to avoid devoloping dependency on pills.
    Keep up the good work, Hope you keep updating us with your improvement :)
     
    Gandalf the White likes this.
  10. PowerfulSRE

    PowerfulSRE Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for sharing!
     
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  11. Thank you! Feels good, just got to make sure not to relax and keep focused.
     
  12. Ogoor

    Ogoor New Fapstronaut

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    Congrats! Great results.
     
    Gandalf the White likes this.
  13. Thank you, appreciate it
     
  14. Thanks Homo Deus
     
  15. Agree, I definitely want to get to a point where I don't need the pills at all.
    I think I'll try without very soon and see the difference. Not a good idea to be dependent.
     
  16. Thanks Awakened appreciate the kind words
     
  17. Thanks for sharing, keeping busy and out of the house seems like great advice but it's easier said than done. I could just hang out in the gym but there are tons of hot girls there so it's not really going to keep my mind straight or my gf happy :confused:.

    I'm just starting out and had a hell of a time making it to 7 days before spiralling back down. Read a lot about it, I think having the count of when you started taking it seriously might also help not absolutely ruin motivation when you lose the streak.

    I've been on the journey (taking it seriously) for 30 days, and I'm currently at day 1 again.

    Also how do you turn on the day counter?
     
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  18. VanGuy

    VanGuy Fapstronaut

    Awesome post man.. thanks so much.. “numbed” by porn is a phrase that jumped out and also glad to see that you say you can’t ever go back.. I totally agree.. I’ve gotten to 90 and 72 days in the past and now consider myself 100% unable to mildly consume etc.. I also do small steps at a time.. aim for 5 days and mark it off.. then as I mark it off my progress builds rather than seeming like a far off target.. anyway thanks again for this post
     
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  19. llortaton

    llortaton Fapstronaut

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    My Journal
    This happens to me regardless of nofap tbh... I have model-man looks at 15! :D
     
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