over 20 days but less than 30

i don't know the exact number of days.

The urge is strong and real. I'm trying a lot of mindful meditation according to which its a "sensation" and it will pass. The objective is to look at the "Sensation" without any feeling of like/dislike.

Its easy but in practice, its quite a task.

I understand that if i even open and type anything, see a pair of nice breasts or any other seductive body part, the end result will be bad.

The last time when i tried, i would look at only "pictures" but would not take it to an orgasm. This time i'm trying a different approach and it has got me quite far and without as much discomfort as the last time.

But, I'm happy that i took this step, again, Buddhism says that "suffering" is inevitable because of my past karma, which is true from all the porn i've seen, not porn just pics of whatever my likes are and then masturbating. The illusion was created by me alone. And obviously it will hurt.

I don't know what did i just ramble but I hope everyone gets over this. This falsehood and suffering which comes out this so called "pleasure" which only lasts a few seconds.

Just need to be mindful.

 

i have put up info on my approach this time on my other posts, i cannot really understand where i can put everything in a journal for it might help someone. I am doing fine, it is a moment to moment fight.