Over 20 virgins?

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by pauts, Feb 1, 2014.

  1. Saserman

    Saserman Fapstronaut

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    I'm a virgin between 20 and 25 years of age. I never had a girlfriend and never had sexual contact (not even a mouth to mouth kiss), although I did have several opportunities from school and university. My main reasons are because of faith and culture. My faith says that men shouldn't mix with women outside of marriage, and my culture practices arranged marriage (but not forced). This isn't something that was forced on me however, it's something I'm convinced is the right way of doing things, so I'm perfectly comfortable and proud of being a virgin. But I'm not comfortable with not getting married ever lol

    At the same time though, I'm very shy and I would also consider myself a rather quirky guy. Maybe that's why girls didn't really care either.

    I started fapping at an early age, but looking at porn at around 17. I think this suppressed the feeling of wanting to get a girlfriend or married for a long time. I wasn't very attracted to real girls for all this time.... Until I started nofap. Now I reallllly want to get married lol. I consider this a good thing. One of the reasons I started nofap is so that I would be "ready" for marriage. So far, I'm really glad I started it and I definitely won't stop.
     
  2. Treason

    Treason Fapstronaut

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    Last edited: Apr 7, 2014
  3. Saserman

    Saserman Fapstronaut

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    Just wondering what SSA stands for. A Google search gives me "social security administration" which doesn't sound right
     
  4. sethj11

    sethj11 Fapstronaut

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    SSA stands for Same Sex Attraction.

    I'm a 26 year old virgin, also for religious views on the nature of sex, families, and love. PMO complicated all that, too. I also deal with SSA, though I am attracted to women.

    Alex07, i can relate when you say that you want to be celibate, but your feelings tend to undermine you. For years I tried to hide everything about the way I felt about men and women, denying it, trying to kill it off, only to have that one nice person enter my life and I would develop very intense feelings for them. It's difficult, but I believe that we are in charge of our feelings, not the other way around. If you ever need to talk, let me know - I'm always available.
     
  5. heyheyrj

    heyheyrj Fapstronaut

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    I'm a virgin because I don't have a girlfriend and I don't really want one in the near future. Like, I can be positive alone. And when I saw '40 Year Old Virgin', I was like, "WTF, that's cool." So, yeah.
     
  6. Thackeray

    Thackeray Fapstronaut

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    28 years old and the same. The opportunities I've had haunt me. It's like I fear intimacy and would rather make love to my hand. Porn is factor in why I am where I'm at. One of many, I assure you, but a factor. A wank is an easy option. Getting the real thing is sometimes hard and even if presented on a platter dish, your mind is so warped by porn, everything is wrong. I once had a rather larger lady :) lying on top of me and was about to finally release myself from this burden of being a virgin. Did I. No. I wimped out. Even touch seemed alien to me during that encounter. Another time and another girl (sister's friend) who I fantasied over and over, came round and I found her on my bed. I had a rock solid boner hidden in my trousers, but didn't make the move and she seemed disappointed and wandered off. OUCH. Porn again seemed the easy option. I pasted her face on pornstar bodies and jacked off. How fucked up is that. More reason for me doing nofap. 8 days in now and it's proved helpful so far.
     
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  7. Saserman

    Saserman Fapstronaut

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    From what I read, the first time you actually do it can be extremely awkward because you have no idea how to do it and you get this anxiety especially if your partner isn't a virgin. I haven't experienced it yet however.

    So perhaps it's actually this reason that you kept wimping out, and not actually porn
     
  8. asian-adventurer

    asian-adventurer Fapstronaut

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    I'm 34 and I'm proudly a virgin. I believe sex is best enjoyed when married with someone you love deeply, and without any fears or worries for negative consequences such as guilt, devastation, sex addiction, unprepared pregnancy, and unfulfilled dreams.

    Sex should be treated with respect and sanctity. It's not only the fulfillment of physical animalistic desires, but it impacts the mind and spirit. When done under wrong circumstances and motives, it can cause extremely devastating consequences.

    When done under the right circumstances, it is fulfilling, enriching, and even motivating and empowering.

    There's no need to hurry to experience sex if the couple are not yet ready for any of the consequences. It can be just a waste of energy and a cause of problems and devastation if the couple are unprepared.
     
  9. asian-adventurer

    asian-adventurer Fapstronaut

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    People say I'm good-looking and attractive to the the opposite sex, and I could have sex if I choose to, but I reserve this act when I get married. Hopefully soon.
     
  10. Spartan

    Spartan Fapstronaut

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    Brah, why don't you find yourself a japanese bride ? You speak the language too right ?

    Stay spartan.
     
  11. Thackeray

    Thackeray Fapstronaut

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    Porn hasn't helped though. Awkward I was. I still felt it was a sexual experience though, but without the sex of course. I've had a few experiences like that. The first being when I was very young, long before I touched porn.
    Awkwardness probably has a lot to do with it, also the fact that this chick just wasn't my idea of my first, if you get me. The only issue I have with being a virgin is the stigma. Again, another reason I'm doing nofap.
     
  12. Thackeray

    Thackeray Fapstronaut

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    I like what I'm reading. It's all a case of self-respect and love.
     
  13. OscarWao

    OscarWao Fapstronaut

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    Don't give up hope man. I didn't lose my virginity until I was 20 last year and if you had met me prior to then I would have told that you that it was impossible for me to do so. I met the girl I had sex with prior to becoming heavily addicted to porn so although I had decreased sensitivity I wasn't suffering from ED.

    The longer you go without masturbation and porn the better you will feel. You are only 23. You will have more possibilities in the future. You're not done yet. Just focus on getting over this hump in your life (no pun intended) and you will lose it and enjoy sex like you've always wanted to.

    Also, don't rush into it with anyone. You have no idea how others react once you've had sex with them. Some are completely normal and others take everything to heart. Find the girl that's right for you.
     
  14. Ihateacne

    Ihateacne Fapstronaut

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    Im sure 75% of teen guys are virgins all the way up to the age of 25. I think most guys lie i've made out with a couple girls and felt them up, but thats about it. I had a couple of friends in high school who claimed they weren't virgins until we started asking who they lost it to and they mentioned a couple of random girls from school or their girlfriends. And Sure enough when we asked the girls they said it was bullshit. (I just turned 20)
     
  15. Progressive Death Mettle

    Progressive Death Mettle Fapstronaut

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    People need to stop obsessing over this virgin/not virgin crap. Sex is something that should be enjoyed not something used to define your manlihood or value as a person. I want a BUNCH of sex before I get married. But it certainly isn't my only goal in life.

    And for the record I am a 22-year-old virgin. But that's CUMMING to an abrupt end!
     
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  16. Thackeray

    Thackeray Fapstronaut

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    Well said, man. Couldn't agree with you more. Maybe that's the problem of our modern day western societies- we're so sex obsessed that shame is cast on those don't partake in the crazed orgy that's expected of people these days. Go back a hundred years or so and it was all different.

    Be yourself and most importantly DON'T PANIC! :)
     
  17. Delirius_

    Delirius_ Fapstronaut

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    fun fact: "panic" means "virgin" (male form) in czech :)
     
  18. Thackeray

    Thackeray Fapstronaut

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    Most interesting, sir. I'll remember that one.:)
     
  19. DarkATi

    DarkATi Fapstronaut

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    Look man, it doesn't matter when you have sex. I was a 21 year old virgin, then I got married. Everyone moves at their own pace. I was personally committed to no sex before marriage and I am so glad that I kept that committment! My wife and I have only ever been with each other and that feels wonderful. I wouldn't have traded my 21 year old virginity for anything. Quality, not quantity my man! That is what matters.

    So, don't just go out and find some chick to bang with, 'cause you may very well regret it one day. Instead, wait for the right time. No worries!
     
  20. fapcultative

    fapcultative Fapstronaut

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    Wow, I am one of the elders here... I'm 28 and still virgin, and I haven't kissed anybody yet.

    The girls always considered me very attractive, but I always felt that something don't matched, that made me wonder If perhaps I was gay, but I am not too.

    Recently I have realized what happens: Simply I don't feel any kind of empathy over the 98% of the people (men and women) I would, but is against my nature (I have friends and so on...but not anybody).

    Moreover I feel I don't need to kiss or get laid with a person to show him/her my love, ...and now at my age my hormones are as a calm sea.

    Perhaps some day I could meet the right couple, perhaps not, but by now I have learned to live happy and alone, so I am not in a hurry.
     
    Last edited: Mar 7, 2014
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