Over 20 virgins?

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by pauts, Feb 1, 2014.

  1. bellevuefreak

    bellevuefreak Fapstronaut

    There is nothing wrong with being a virgin. I am 39 and still a virgin. I applaud those who wait until marriage. I truly believe that society places too much emphasis on sex any way. I also believe that you should wait until after marriage to have sex.
  2. Thackeray

    Thackeray Fapstronaut

    I admire the honesty in people here. A lot of folks keep hush-hush with regards to this and if they let on that they happen to be a virgin over the age of 20 it becomes a topic of humour that leads to embarrassment, when it should be a respected choice for one to decide what they want to do in life.
  3. ChrisHaven

    ChrisHaven Fapstronaut

    Much respect to all those who abstained from sex till they got married-by choice. However, despite abstinence, most men still use porn and masturbate on a daily basis. Having sex wouldn't stop us from doing so, but I believe that if you greatly desire to have sex, it BEATS fapping and porn use hands down.

    I'd rather be a 30 year old who has had lots satisfying sex, feels bad about not abstaining, but realizes that sex isn't that big a deal, than a 30 year old virgin that craves sex, is addicted to porn and uses abstinence as an excuse.

    I fully support and applaud men in this day and age who choose to abstain, but if you want to have sex and don't know how to go about doing it,you should figure it out and not use porn and masturbation as outlets.

    The truth is, almost all men will eventually have sex. Just enjoy it more with a real person than you do with yourself or a screen.
  4. 1Daat_2014

    1Daat_2014 New Fapstronaut

    I'm a 34 year old virgin. I'm not religious, never had a girlfriend, never been on a real date. I've never really even had an extensive conversation with a woman face to face.
    My biggest issue is that I'm an extremely shy person and I lack confidence.
    I know in my case it is most likely too late for me and I'm okay with that.
    I would never tell someone that I am a 34 year old virgin in real life because they would make a big deal about it.
    XPiRED likes this.
  5. Raynethemagi

    Raynethemagi Fapstronaut

    The reason I am a virgin is because I was always afraid of what my family would think if they were to ever find out. Lol...that's pretty much why I am a 24 yr. old virgin. However, I can't say it never could've gotten to that point, because it almost did.
  6. Former_Fapper

    Former_Fapper Fapstronaut

    I started jerking off at about the age of 11. And I lost my virginity when I was 17. I'm now 22, had sex with 5 girls, and had sex about 120 times, but now I wish I was still a virgin, because now I find myself in an ugly place of comparison when I have sex with a woman. Because I have others to compare to. You guys are lucky to have your virginity. And when I find my future wife insha'Allah, I'd desire her to be a virgin but I feel like i have no right to it because I'm not one anymore. As I wouldn't want her to had sex before, I'm sure she wouldn't want me to had sex before. Makes you feel dirty and a woman who's had sex many times before, she also feels dirty. I know it's hard to condition yourself not to desire sex all the time since we live in this sex-centered society. But know that there are so many ways to release that urge without genital simulation.
    Write on youtube "Sacred Sexuality Project" and start watching them videos from the oldest onwards. Guaranteed it will help you a lot!
  7. IAmSirFapsALot

    IAmSirFapsALot Fapstronaut

    I lost my virginity when I was 25, to an older woman who took advantage of me. I regret it so very much.
    The reason I was that old was lack of self esteem, depression, self hatred, fear of intimacy (though I thought it was what I craved), and the fact that I was too shy to talk to or try and meet girls. I was a douchebag online, pretending to be someone I wasn't.
    Porn and masturbation were all I had for sexual release. It damaged me.
    I wish I had never started masterbating ever! I wish I had of kept my virginity until meeting my now wife. It would have been special. That's what I used to tell myself I was waiting for. I didn't realize just how much my masterbating was ruining my body, my mind, and consequently my life.
    So many regrets. The biggest regrets are not waiting longer before losing my virginity; and looking to Masterbation as a comfort for so many years. My life and my mind would be so much better and more sound if I had never EVER masterbated.
    Seriously guys, and girls if your here too, I suggest keeping your virginity until you find someone very special.
    Don't fuck up like I did.
  8. BushidoWarrior

    BushidoWarrior Fapstronaut

    I am a semi-virgin. I had sex with a woman when I was about seventeen, but I didn't O, nor did I stay in very long; I couldn't keep it up for longer than about 20 seconds. I remember I had been binging on PMO earlier that day and was in a shitty mood.

    My experience with women has been almost non-existent. It was always they who initiated the offerings and I who found a reason to push them away. This isn't to say that they were throwing themselves at me: to the contrary. I was the fat, white, pasty nerd in class who always had trouble fitting in. It wasn't until I hit about 16-17 that I started getting slightly more attention. It might have been because I was doing footy and jiu-jitsu, and weights and heavy bag-punching. I gained a bit of muscle and stopped looking like such a huge dork.

    But the woman thing has been always something I've sucked at. Not only was I a nerd, I was extremely eccentric and prone to heavy, heavy mind wandering. There was nothing more anxiety-provoking to me than things like school camps or athletics; anything like that. That was where the boys and girls tended to get fresh with one another, and I just knew that nothing good would ever come of it for someone like me. Being from a country school, if you were not a jock who did keg stands every weekend or a musician capable of inhaling weed like a vacuum cleaner, then you were pretty much fucked in the pussy department.

    Also, I had trouble smiling at people, looking at them in the eye, or just being jovial and friendly in general. Social skills never entered my repertoire effortlessly; it took conscious, painstaking effort over many years.

    XPiRED likes this.
  9. I'm an over 20 virgin because of my belies and don't use porn but joined this site to help me with my struggles with masturbation
  10. Im 23 and still a virgin... it sucks!
    I have had a few chances in the past, but every time I was with a girl, I got ED

    Took a few times for me to do some research and realize that the massive amount of time I spend watching porn was the cause of my ED. Still struggling with porn addiction.

    Main reason I want to stop PMO is so I can actually meet more women, have a good sex life and eventually get a girlfriend.
  11. bizzlelop

    bizzlelop Fapstronaut

    word for word your the same as me, i'm 23 as-well, but I've stopped flapping for 2weeks so far and want to completely stop, the benefits are obvious and life is worth living.
  12. abra

    abra Fapstronaut


    I'm 23, lost my virginity this year. Never intended to keep it for wedding, but I was shy and couldn't take the ooportunities. Maybe my post is offtopic, but I see some indirect questions asked here that may be answered :

    - to people who are shy and are unease at talking to girls : practice !*Think of it as an activity like any other, at first everyone is bad at it, some get faster than others but everyone needs practice ! You feel fear, you will need courage but almost no social fear can't be overcome with time.

    - to people who feel no desire at first : force yourself a bit, give it a try, see if the desire doesn't get up. If no, stop it, but really, desire may be at ground zero at first and then awake.

    - to people who think sex will seem awkward : yes and no. The feeling is new but it is also the very natural continuation of getting close (for instance kiss, preliminaries, penetration).

    - to people who are virgin because ED with a new person : it happens to everyone. Pressure, stress, will to perform are things that kill the inner desire, give you a chance and try several times with the same person before giving up. You can find and give pleasure in other ways before you are ready.

    - general piece of advice for sex : be present with your partner. Feel with your 5 senses, breath deeply, feel your muscles, feel the pleasure. With a bit of practice, it solves most of the problems (ED, ejaculating too early or too late). Of course, go on with noFap/PMO.

    I also didn't know that there were still people who would like to wait for the wedding. I find it a beautiful thing.
  13. Zaka

    Zaka New Fapstronaut


    I am 21 years old guy from Finland. I have never even kissed a girl. The problem is not that I am "ugly" but I am too shy to talk to girls and never really had a chance to, because I spend most of my time alone or with my parents. My mother died 3 months ago :( . I have always dreamed to find someone but it seems impossible for me. I hope this NoFap helps me with my shyness, it already has helped me a bit and I feel more energic. I often go jogging/running which helps too :)

    Hopefully someday, who knows... :confused:

    Excuse my english if there is errors...
    Last edited: Apr 20, 2014
  14. Piotr

    Piotr Fapstronaut

    I'm almost 28yo and I kissed girl only once. It's probably because of social anexious problems (I'm very shy person) and addiction to porn (lack of motivation to find a girlfriend).
  15. sertobe

    sertobe Fapstronaut

    Lol I thought this thread was about 20 virgins. I was thinking who's going to deflower all them ladies haha.
    XPiRED likes this.
  16. JJnofap

    JJnofap Fapstronaut

    currently 21 -- had failed sex at 19 and a few more times at 20 then finally figured the PMO thing out and have had successful a handful of times

    similar situation to you; girls liked me all through high school and I would play along with the games and feel infatuated and shit but I was totally cool with no kissing or anything for some reason and they would lose interest. Hmm wonder why
  17. Tschoo

    Tschoo Fapstronaut

    21, soon 22. never had sex but kissed twice; once with 16 (what wonders alcohol can do!) and with 18 (you probably know all these after school holidays for which you pay horrendous amounts of money, for a week of teenagers getting thrown together like a cage filled with testosterone).
    My problem is that I really got no idea how to even go about having sex or even remotely close things. I mean I can think of how I have sex with women that I find attractive, but I got no idea how to close the gap between my fantasies and an actual woman. This whole inter-social run-around confuses me and I don't really understand why and how people get laid. It's indeed a mystery.
  18. BlackStones

    BlackStones Fapstronaut

    I am 19 and I do not share the exact same problems but I know I will if I continue to struggle with my addiction. To the fellows above me who are struggling with social anxiety and some other stuff, I hope that you guys all find assistance on this website. I know that I am trying to immerse myself so that I can beat this addiction.

    I wish you guys the best of luck. Being a virgin isn't really that big of a deal, at least imo.
  19. iRichard

    iRichard New Fapstronaut

    I am 23 years old and I am still a virgin. I am not that great of looking guy and I look kind of intimidating to girls, so I decided what the heck I should just do the NoFap 90 day challenge and see what happens. And so far it has been 9 days since my first fap and I am battling the urges not to fap. I am afraid I might relapse or something.
    Last edited: Apr 25, 2014

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