Overcome Shyness and stop Wet Dreams?

Im realizing always anew how much i missed in my life. I did a nice graduation which allowed me to get the permission to study pharmacy here in Germany, but when im talking with some people there i realize that im inferior in many aspects to them. The girls there speak much better Turkish there, im native Turkish but my turkish is not that fluent, some of them are not even Turkish but they speak it better than me. Than there social skills. I dont know why, but earlier in my life i was always a bit sencluded, people sometimes made fun about me which somehow also caused this. I dont actually know how it come to that, but yea, im working to overcome this since so long time. People would made fun about my clothes earlier in school, in mosque when i was a child some of these kids were really aggressive and mean, they would hit me. Sometimes i provoked it, but wtf, there guys there were so psychos some of them, i was a young chap, maybe 8-9 years old, they were much older and would hit me. so i didnt like to visit mosque after. When i got older, i visited another mosque with my friends. The people there were kind. But i already would escape in video games or some other shit. I think i was addicted to them for a long time. Then people would made fun about my interest in anime, later they watched it by themselves, i dont know i couldnt change anymore that much to an extrovert after all what i experienced, i locked out my heart from people. I wouldnt thell them anything about me, because i was so insecure to getting bashed for something. It was a really hard fight for me, i didnt grow in good company, but maybe im exaggerating, i still had my friends outside of school and i would be normal towards to them. Still im not satisfied with my current state. My mother wouldnt allow me to go on school friends partys when they invited me, because she didnt trust them and she feared that i would lost my path ( cigarettes, alcoohol). Also my teeths got shifted after years of braces, which stressed me out too, people made comments about my teeth. I lost the hope with my teeths because orthodontist said a new brace wouldnt make it better because my mouth was too big for my little teeths. So i weared a loose bracked to press all the teeths to the left and only one big teeth gap remained, this gap was filled by a dentist. Before the graduation ceremony i got them fixed thankfully. But at the end they were friendly towards to me, but i was sad about not being more social.
Yesterday i learned for a exam and then started to think about my school class mates what they were doing. I stalked them on instagram and became kinda jealous.. One of them was as example posting gym pictures, im a bit buff too but had to pause for like 1-2 week because im constantly stressed about my important exams. I dont know but at the end i went very late to bed... and got a wet dream. Wet dreams always happen if im stressed, get less sleep, im angry about something, stressed out about exams etc..

They make me feel groggy and need much more time to remember and build sentences. Its so SHIT. Then after the exam i started to talk to my fellow students and again, sometimes when im telling stories the words i need dont come in to my mind. I hate it, and it happened at an important day.. why did the wet dream had to happen at a time like an exam day. I love going to university because i see my fellow students. But this wet dream shit really reduces my charisma. I feel like i missed half of my life for not learning my native language properly, one girl said im too quiet. First she showed interesent in me. Now im talking with another girl, healping each other with our studying. Some girl already flirted with me, i just have to get more confident. One girl asked me to sit together in bus when our semester had a trip. i refused but of sheer anxiety, and next to me were other boys. I was anxiety because i feared that i would bore her in bus as for not being interesing enough/ not having interesing hobbys and even cant speak my native language properly. She is from an arabic country and speaked also turkish, i was really impressed.. she can speak and read arabic, speak kurdish and also some turkish. She was cute because she started some small talk with me on turkish, i really fell in love with her. But my anxiety made me act akward dismissive. Im also having in my mind the last fap and so on. Maybe this NoFap shit became a obsessive-compulsive disorder for me.. IM NOT FAPPING SINCE 5-6 YEARS MAYBE, ONLY WET DREAMS COMING AND FEELING LIKE RELAPSES. But i always taking the easy path saying: ,,ah i had a wet dream, so im not charismatic enough to speak with her "