Overcoming for good this time!

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Overcomer777, Apr 29, 2019.

  1. Overcomer777

    Overcomer777 Fapstronaut

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    Hey there!

    Started looking at porn when I was 13, I'm 34 now, almost 35 and I have never stopped for longer than a month.
    I thought it would get better when I got married but it didn't. 8 years later into our marriage and it is destroying us.

    I have tried many things to stop - accountability and filtering apps / software, accountability partners, etc.

    I realise now how serious this is and it has brought me to NoFap :)

    Ready to overcome PM this time for good!!
     
    Live and Grow7 likes this.
  2. Overcomer777

    Overcomer777 Fapstronaut

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    Any advice would be welcome!
    I usually fail when I am stressed or feeling down.

    I have read about the HALT triggers - Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. But it's usually stress that makes me gravitate towards that release.
     
    Live and Grow7 likes this.
  3. andi1987

    andi1987 Fapstronaut

    Hi,

    just to clarify: How often do you watch porn and for how long?
     
  4. Overcomer777

    Overcomer777 Fapstronaut

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    Hi Andi.

    It varies. Some weeks once or twice for about 30mins. Other times 7 times a day for hours in total.

    When I abstain for a few days or a week it becomes easier - up to a point. But as soon as I fail, I lose control and watch daily for 2 or 3 weeks.
     
    Last edited: Apr 30, 2019
  5. Live and Grow7

    Live and Grow7 Fapstronaut

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    Hey welcome! I'm terms of advice I would say examine your life and see what are your main areas of stress. The HALT thing certainly is true and those are the points when our willpower is lowest.

    I'm like you, I tried all the blocking apps and stuff. It never seemed to help or I already knew how to get around them so I always found my way back. My current streak feels like my best yet since I'm finally turning to community and keeping a close eye on my habits and triggers.

    I think one of the most important things to do is examine when are the times you're most tempted to relapse and fap. Start filling your time with activities and coming up with alternatives or limits to reduce on the amount of time you have to rely on willpower to overcome a tempting moment.

    Our willpower is finite and having to lean on it for too long will usually just cause us to give in because that feels easier than holding out. Look to accomplish things everyday or as much as possible.

    Setting and accomplishing goals also gives our brain a dopamine response and that will help you stay satisfied and focused. Look at things you want to do and accomplish whether that be cooking more or working out or whatever.

    This is something I know you can accomplish. Proper planning and precautions go a long way with staying clean and relying less on willpower.

    You've got a great resource here and plenty of people with plenty of experience.
     
    Overcomer777 likes this.
  6. andi1987

    andi1987 Fapstronaut

    I just can agree to this. Try to find out what your "favourite porn time, mood etc." is. For me its like 02:00 p.m.; around this time my urges are strongest. Also look what kind of stress it is or what causes it?
     
    Overcomer777 likes this.
  7. Florida Freedom

    Florida Freedom Fapstronaut

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    I can relate to your story, I know there is a place of victory for you. (and for me) I am starting with small steps in my daily routine. This fight is worth fighting, not just for ourselves but for our wives who deserve better than what we have given them so far. Keep fighting!
     
    Overcomer777 likes this.
  8. Overcomer777

    Overcomer777 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the advice and support guys!
     

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