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Overcoming Other Addictions

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by KrmGrn, Nov 19, 2014.

  1. KrmGrn

    KrmGrn Fapstronaut

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    Those of you who have overcome other addictions, how did you do it?
     
  2. krashTest

    krashTest Fapstronaut

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    I can only reference quitting smoking, which I successfully did. I'm trying to apply some of these principles I learned in dealing with my other addictions.

    Nicotine has addictive qualities, however my mental state is what perpetuated the addiction.

    I enjoyed smoking. I wanted a cigarette after sex, after a meal, with my morning coffee, when I felt anxiety, during work breaks, pretty much within all the routines in my life. But I wanted to quit. I had many reasons to quit, but after several unsuccessful attempts, I was at a loss. I didn't have the will power, which made me feel worse. I felt inadequate. Guess what I did to remedy that feeling? I lit up another cigarette.

    Then it dawned on me that will power is not the answer. In fact, I felt that relying on will power was in many ways self-defeating.

    Here is an example of why. I've known a few people who quit smoking using will power. They reference it like it was a titanic struggle. A battle they had to overcome. Some of these people quit for months, even a few years. But what I found in common is that there was a lingering feeling. A feeling that they miss smoking. One person who had quit for months said they had the urge to smoke everyday but wouldn't give in. As a result, they felt miserable. Why? Because they had to battle this feeling everyday. They may win the battles, but they hadn't won the war.

    This is no way to live.

    There were several factors what helped me overcome smoking. But the most significant one was understanding that I'm not losing anything. It wasn't so much about convincing myself of this fact, but rather accepting it. Smoking was such a part of my life that it felt normal. Quitting the habit didn't mean I was giving up on the enjoyment of a smoke after sex. It didn't mean I was giving up on pleasure having a smoke after a meal, or with my coffee, or as a relief mechanism when I feel anxiety.

    They only thing I lost is the control it had on my life. I lost the need to think that I need some substance to enhance my life. My needs were influenced by my addiction. I lost this influence, this control over my decisions and choices.

    But when the war ended, there were no battles to fight. What I lost in smoking, I gained in freedom.

    I've been smoke free for about 6 years and I don't even think about it.

    On a side note, I think some of the principles from the 12-step program are helpful as well. The 12 steps applies not only to people who suffer from substance abuse but also from sexual addictions. Some of these steps have given me a different perspective and tools to help me overcome my current afflictions.

    I wish you the best.
     
    Last edited: Nov 20, 2014
  3. KrmGrn

    KrmGrn Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for sharing that, and congratulations on quitting smoking!
     
  4. krashTest

    krashTest Fapstronaut

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    Cheers, thank you!
     
  5. teaandbiscuits

    teaandbiscuits Fapstronaut

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    Have you got a specific addiction in mind?
     
  6. ds112358

    ds112358 Fapstronaut

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    I had addictions to watching binge watching TV shows, and also play games. I used to spend 4-6 hours a day in front of the TV or my laptop. But the thing is, they weren't addictions by themselves like I thought they were. Porn was the catalyst.

    When the brain is addicted (to porn, alcohol, smoking or whatever), it needs to keep the dopamine 'high'. I needs to be entertained all the time. This had become a huge problem for me.

    But after quitting PMO, and after I started focusing on my life, those 'addictions' disappeared by themselves. I still watch TV or play games when I have free time, but it is no longer compulsive. If I have more important things to do, I can easily concentrate on that.

    I'm not sure if it is similar with more dangerous addictions like alcohol or drugs, but quitting PMO can definitely be the catalyst you need to get your life on track.

    Good luck and best wishes,
    DS.
     
  7. KrmGrn

    KrmGrn Fapstronaut

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    @teaandbiscuits I'm just curious about other addiction success stories and how people did it because maybe there will be some wisdom or strategy that could help here.

    @ds112358 Thanks. That's great to hear.
     
    Last edited: Nov 20, 2014
  8. teaandbiscuits

    teaandbiscuits Fapstronaut

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    I'm sorry to say that I'm unable to offer any success stories, although I too would be interested to hear any if people have them. I'm addicted to many things unfortunately - I started another thread describing how I feel that (for me at least) having some success in one area, i.e. getting one addiction under stronger control, usually has the effect of my craving for something else going up. For example, if I go a few days without PMO, then I'll find myself thinking "I'm in the mood for a drink, let's call up some friends and go to a bar" (nothing wrong with that, right?) however for me it's never just "a couple of beers", it will always turn into a huge drinking session, chucking back shots, etc.

    I suppose one thing that I can mention that's a bit more positive...

    Some time last year, I ended up staying in a really quiet part of the countryside for a month, where there was really very little to do, so I ended up exercising all the time. I could go for 30 minute swim then come out the pool and go straight for a 10 K run five days of the week. I combined this with not smoking cigarettes and minimal alcohol consumption (1 or 2 glasses of wine per week) and I felt incredible. And the thing is, the pleasure of getting fitter and stronger was so strong then I actually stopped WANTING to drink and smoke, because exercising made me feel even better than partying did.

    Then I moved to a big city and everything went downhill very quickly.

    HOWEVER - perhaps there is some sort of light at the end of the tunnel there.
     
  9. teaandbiscuits

    teaandbiscuits Fapstronaut

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    This was very interesting to read. Let me share one thought with you though, if I may:

    I have read somewhere that the extent to which something is addictive is linked to the immediacy/ speed of which the brain receives gratification, rather than the extent of how pleasurable the activity is. So for example, smoking cigarettes is addictive because (let's say) it takes about 10 seconds for the nicotine to get into your lungs, then into your blood stream, then the reward centre in your brain feels nice. However something like heroin is even more addictive because it's injected straight into the blood so the brain feels it just 2 or 3 seconds later. And similarly, snorting cocaine up the nose results in a very quick reward for the brain, which is why it can potentially be not only addictive (long term) but 'moreish' (wanting it again very soon after the first time).

    I'm not sure if any of this is scientific fact or maybe I've got mixed up or maybe it's a combination but I think it sounds conceivable.

    Anyway, the reason I mention this is because I think that an addiction such as binge watching TV shows doesn't have the same 'hit', if you get what I'm trying to say. And as you said in your post, you think that porn provided the brain with the 'hits', which it then got used to having, and in the absence of porn you'd go on computer gaming sessions or tv watching sessions because you were craving entertainment.

    I think you and I are quite similar in that I can relate to what you describe in terms of craving something to fill the void, but I think perhaps I'm a bit more self-destructive in terms of the things that I use to fill it with. My biggest problems are smoking and drinking - and the two usually go hand in hand.

    I think I might try and just allow myself to enjoy December, christmas, new years, and then really commit to spending January 100% free of everything: porn, alcohol and cigarettes. Then starting February 1st, I'll see how badly I'm missing one/ all of them and then make a decision from there whether or not, for example, to resume alcohol again but on a more controlled level.

    EDIT: And just one last thing by the way, when you said this:

    "But after quitting PMO, and after I started focusing on my life, those 'addictions' disappeared by themselves. I still watch TV or play games when I have free time, but it is no longer compulsive. If I have more important things to do, I can easily concentrate on that."

    ... that is precisely what I want for myself. Very inspirational to read. Hopefully if I too finish with PMO, then in the future I'll be able to enjoy a sociable drink without the desire to get totally wasted because my brain won't be constantly craving the gratification (currently being perpetuated with PMO)
     
    Last edited: Dec 12, 2014
  10. Whatever

    Whatever Fapstronaut

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    SINCERITY (or clarity, awareness)

    Perseverance (or Will, determination)

    Consolidation (or focus, concentration)


    and Steadfastness or faith, trust
     

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