overcoming rejection anxiety?

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by cryptifly, Jul 24, 2015.

  1. cryptifly

    cryptifly Fapstronaut

    I've recently been hit in the face by the realization that I have a crippling fear of rejection, something that has it's roots deeply entangled in everything I do, think, or say. I'm going to start working through this but I'm curious if anybody has any experience in overcoming rejection anxiety. If you do or know anyone else who has, what pointers would you give someone who is taking the first steps to overcoming it? Any and all thoughts are welcome, of course.
  2. EarthDragon

    EarthDragon Fapstronaut

    I've been rejected by girls for like 100-150 times. After 50 you won't even bother anymore. My advice is: keep it real.
    1: Don't attribute any good personality traits to girls who you don't know. Doesn't matter if she has the hottest body, doesn't matter if she has an angelic face, it doesn't even matter if she is nice to others. Talk to them. Get to know them. They might not be good for you.
    2: Don't take yourself too seriously. Your success doesn't determine your value as a human being. If someone doesn't want to know you? That's fine. If they want to? Even better.
    3: Don't anticipate anything, lower your expectations but raise your standards. When you seem to like a girl, and you're genuinely interested, keep it real. Don't imagine kissing her. Don't visualize how your kids would look like. Don't think: maybe she will be my wife. Forget that shit, there is time for those thoughts but much much later. All your goal has to be is to chat. You shouldn't be looking for a gf, that just makes you nervous which is completely unnecessary at this point.

    If you keep getting rejected, you might want to think about yourself as well. Clear these questions in yourself:
    1 Who I am?
    2 What do I stand for?
    3 Based on what morals do I want to live my life? Why? How can I learn about it? How can I practice?

    It's not about going to the gym or practicing PUA or some other stuff. It's about identity. That's what you want to work on. Good luck!
    Yorokobi, bean and cryptifly like this.
  3. frankied

    frankied Fapstronaut

    Talk to a few girls everyday for a month and ask them out on dates, you will conquer your fear. And take it step by step, if you are to nervous at first, just ask them for the time, then every time you get more comfortable you can be more congruent and put yourself on the line if you like the girl.
    cryptifly likes this.

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