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Own Your Life

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Ender Atreides, Feb 17, 2020.

  1. Ender Atreides

    Ender Atreides Fapstronaut

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    Never underestimate the choices you make; one simple choice can determine the outcome of your entire life. And if you think that's bullshit, then you're not looking hard enough or you've managed to have never met someone who is addicted to heroin, has gotten into the same kind of toxic relationship repeatedly, or has been working the same dead end job their entire life. Life is choices, and the wrong ones can fuck you up. And for most of us here we need look no further than ourselves to find the truth in this.

    A bit if background on myself: I come from a broken family, alcoholism and arguments the daily norm. I grew up afraid, anxious and never having stood up for myself. One day about two years ago I made a plan to stop letting that run my life and take responsibility for who I was. I traveled, lived across the world for a year, and all but overcame just about every problem I had, including porn addiction. I worked out constantly, learned a language, I became the person I'd always dreamed of being. Life was good.

    Now here's the kicker: when I came back I was stupid enough to believe that if I let myself back into that environment I would be just fine. Nope.

    A year later I'm 25, living at my parents' house again, depressed, just out of a toxic relationship, striking out with girls I'd actually like to date probably due to the subtle insecurities they sense (ah, to be checked by the opposite sex), and to top it off: back on porn. All the positive habits I made have pretty much disappeared and all the negative ones have come back.

    I've spent a lot of time afraid, ashamed, anxious, uncertain about where to go and procrastinating on the things that would move me ahead. Simply put, I was stuck. That is until last week, when fate as a woman fucking intervened as she so often does to get us into fucking shape and froce us to get our life together.

    You know the type, fellas: beautiful body, long hair, conversations you get lost in, every moment feeling like a fucking privilege just to be around her. Long story short, things were going great until... my insecurities took hold, I said some things I shouldn't have, was a little too whiny and not as confident as I should be and it drove her away. I pushed it, got ghosted, and then,I drank --- a lot. Hated myself for quite a few days about that and really let myself have it and questioned why, why, God why am I here again in this same place???

    The answer, of course, is me. I'm the reason. Me, and only me. And this realization stuck like a fucking dagger in my side. I have nobody to blame but myself.

    Now, I came to the right decisions and decided to change my life again, talked to a friend, made goals, started to get more consistent in positive habits, all the things you'd expect. Wasn't until today though that it really stuck when, of all things, I was watching porn.

    I came across a video and wow did I have the weirdest fucking epiphany I've ever had. Nothing out of the ordinary, man fucking a beautiful woman in a chair. Simple.

    The thing is... this guy looked like me. I mean a lot like me, but maybe in about five years, with better muscle tone, and he's the one actually having sex with the beautiful woman. And here I am just watching him. Watching what he's accomplished. Watching how attractive he is and the life he's created in being able to be with this person.

    Now, I'm not condoning porn by any stretch of the imagination. I would never want to live that lifestyle, but what I realized is he's actually living and I'm like a shadow. I'm feeding off of the things others are doing for a quick fix.

    We all do this. And not just with porn, but our fav Instagram models, YouTubers, musicians, actors... We constantly are dreaming of what it must be like to live that person's life instead of just fucking living the best life we ourselves are capable of.

    Seneca said that "it's not that we have a short time to live, but that we waste a lot of it," and gentleman, I have wasted more hours than I can count in this life, not only with porn, but by simply not living up to my own ethics, goals and expectations for myself, even when reasonably put. As for me, I'm done with this self-fulfilling prophecy.

    So, I'm creating a new habit. Every month, I'm going to sit down and think about what I could do to change my life for the better; think about the real steps I could take to improve myself and get where I want to be and imagine that person and what it feels like to be him. And I'm going to do this unthinkingly with discipline and just do the work and let go of my ego. I'm writing a list of what I want to accomplish and what I'll give myself when I do. And gentleman, you better believe I'm gonna fucking do it.

    As for me, I'm going to live the best month I've ever lived. I'm going to stay PMO free, wake up consistently at the same time, train how I should, study how I should, and devote every minute of my life to the cause of my self improvement. And I hope some of you join me in your own way with your own goals.

    We all make choices, guys. The wrong ones can really fuck us up, but make enough of the right ones consistently and soon you'll be so strong and disciplined that you won't even recognize yourself. That person that you dream of being isn't just a fiction: he's who you know you could be and what you know you could accomplish if you really put your mind to it.

    Stop fucking up your life and start making the right choices. I promise you won't regret it. Own your fucking life.

    -Ender
     
    I can overcome and MrFabu like this.
  2. The emperor

    The emperor Fapstronaut

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    "It's not that we have a short time to live, but that we waste a lot of it".
     
    I can overcome likes this.
  3. I can overcome

    I can overcome Fapstronaut

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    You hit home on many points. I like the way you pointed out how we waste time and totally agree
     

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