P.A.W.S. - what are they, cure, duration

This is precisely the predicament that I find myself in. I suffered mysterious health problems for years, but it was only two years ago that I found out they were caused by PMO all along. I've successfully reversed most of them through abstinence, but I'm unable to tell anybody that they were caused by PMO because of the social stigma associated with porn addiction. Not only that, but science is not yet privy to the fact that PMO can wreak havoc on your physical health, so nobody would believe me even if I did have the courage to tell them. This leaves me feeling very isolated.

 

Could you elaborate on the health conditions you have reversed through abstinence please, if you don't feel comfortable sharing this info then dw about it.

My main health issue has been a weak immune system, I would catch everything which went around and even if it was just a common cold, it would stick around for weeks leaving me bed ridden and then it would probably develop into sinusitis. Doctors never found any red flags in my blood work and I'm now starting to believe that it was a result of PMO.

I've been shielding myself from coronavirus since it started as the flu usually leaves my bed ridden for a couple months (spent the last 5/6 winters ill 90% of the time) so I was scared at what coronavirus would do to me. This has meant I haven't caught any common viruses so I'm not too sure where I stand with my immune system now after 6 months of abstinence.

I've been hoping that once I've alleviated the stress that PMO addiction and withdrawal has on my body, my immune system will go back to being the strong force it was before PMO, but kinda feel like I'm reaching with this one. Your comment about treating health conditions with abstinence definitely makes me believe more though, even if it wasn't exactly your immune system which recovered.

 

I'll link you to a post I made a month ago. I listed every single one of my symptoms here:
https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?t...d-is-actually-just-low-t.303310/#post-2911286

I also had a weak immune system, but I wasn't catching viruses frequently; I was getting infections all the time. My doctor couldn't figure out how I was only in my late twenties and always getting ear, throat, and sinus infections. That all stopped a few months after starting NoFap, and I haven't felt this healthy and resilient since I was a kid.

 

Thank you

 

I'm not improving at as fast of a clip as a lot of you seem to be. I'm a couple days short of 17 months and I still feel like ass just about every day. And I don't really have good days anymore. The "good" days are just small portions of time when I don't feel like total shite. Not a lot to be positive about right now.

I think I really, really fucked my brain/nervous system up.

 

I’m still feeling like shit most of my days. It’s still a 95:5 ratio of bad days to good days. Before that it was 99,5:0,5.

I read a lot of success stories were people described that they felt shit for two years straight and then suddenly recovery occurred. It’s not like a linear process that is similar for everyone and I don’t think you should be discouraged for not having good days by now.

 

Do you mind me asking what explanation you have given to people for your health problems, and how you recovered, once you realised it was actually down to PMO?

 

So, given that I am precisely at the 6 month mark, I thought I'd give a quick update. Bear in mind that I have been trying and failing to quit P for over 10 years, with incremental improvements to my "streaks" over that time, so this is strictly about the last 6 months, during which I have not P/M/O'd once, or even come close. During 2019 my health steadily worsened after a decade of being *relatively* OK, with regular PMO approx every 10 days; I'm 99% sure this worsening was simply due to the long term effects of continuing to PMO, and not stopping completely, sooner.

So the last time I PMOd was 183 days ago. Since then my health has been the worse it has ever been, and it wasn't great before. It went through phases that roughly corresponded to each calendar month:

End of Sept: felt "wired" with a kind of energy you get from too much coffee; sleep was terrible, muscles got sore really easily after tiny amounts of use (eg cleaning / housework). Suffering all symptoms we discuss in relation to PAWS, but not significantly worse than before.

Oct / Nov: the two worse months. All symptoms worse. Probably the weakest I've ever been, physically, mentally and emotionally. Could barely do anything. Only left the house to drive to the shops (ie couldn't walk more than a few yards at a time), and even then had to pick my moments carefully so that I was clear-headed enough to drive. Struggled to get out of bed most days. Did zero housework beyond cooking food and cleaning dishes. Mentally was extremely irritable, had a couple of melt-downs where I just broke things out of frustration at not having the brain power to do simple things (couldn't figure out how to open a bottle on one occasion, so I smashed it with a hammer...). General brain fog terrible. Watched a LOT of TV, generally couldn't concentrate enough to be able to read books.

Dec / Jan: small improvement in energy and overall symptoms - occasionally managed to walk to shops. Christmas helped - food, drink etc, although stomach problems all got worse as a result, going in to January.

Feb (and early march): Felt terrible again - almost as bad as Oct/Nov - no idea why. I'm guessing this is part of the "windows and waves" phenomenon, and the randomness of recovery? Anyway, started to panic a little, not so much about "will I ever recover", more like "how long is this going to take!?".

March: slow, steady improvements in all symptoms - managing to walk to shops at least once a week, do a little cleaning around the house (and I've got a LOT of catching up to do), and at least start to think about working again. Can generally function a little bit better doing everything, but am far from recovered. I have a huge list of things to do, but for the foreseeable future I can only nibble away at the small jobs, while I continue to spend most of my time each day recovering, mostly on my sofa.

I have no idea how long further recovery will take. I feel I'll be doing well if it is only another 12 months before I'm able to function more or less like "normal". Will I see slow but steady improvements from here on, or will it be two steps forward, one step back? Obviously I hope every day for a sudden return to normality (or close enough) - some days that feels like it's happening, but I quickly tire out when pushing my limits. I need to be able to work at some point, but that still feels like it's way off. Maybe the end of the year, at the earliest.

Overall: lack of physical activity has resulted in a lot of joint pain. This isn't new to me in itself, but it has been a lot worse, and I've just had to put up with it because I've been too exhausted to walk / stretch / exercise properly. I now face what is effectively a period of rehab on that front. I'm also gaining more perspective on how far gone I have been from a sexual PoV, from the age of 11 until now, in terms of how I see women and my interaction (or generally, lack of) with them. On one level, I do see them as human beings, but I have also seen them purely as how hot they are, and spent most of my life like a dog on heat. This is perhaps for another thread, but I have spent a lot of the last 6 months feeling regret, and almost grieving for the kind of life I could have had if I hadn't had my face stuck in a magazine or screen for the last 30+ years. I'm feeling this more now than ever. I'm also just realising how extreme I let this become, and I have a lot of work ahead to close the reality gap, although the other option is to not try, and just have a totally sex / woman free life - which right now is way better than going back to P. But that is a bridge to cross later in my recovery, I think.

And of course, there is the perpetual fear of a relapse. This time a year ago I was only a little better than I am now, and it only took 4x small PMO binges over the summer to make things worse, especially the last one - 1 hour of PMO and I was f*cked. I reckon those 4 sessions have cost me a year of progress in terms of recovery time. So I am terrified of a lapse. I'm also haunted by the feeling that I have only managed to get through 6 months hardmode because I have been so ill and exhausted that most days I have zero urges to deal with anyway, so in that sense it has been easy. There will come a point (one day...) where my energy is much better, and the urges will return. That will be the real test. On a more optimistic note though, I do feel that because I think about P so little now, and am maybe getting a better and healthier perspective on life, that maybe I am managing to shift the needle in a permanent kind of way.

What comes next? We'll see!

 

I haven't told anybody the truth. I'm not sure if I will ever be able to, at least not until the social stigma surrounding PMO addiction lessens considerably. That could take a while because not many people are brave enough to step forward and openly talk about it. I don't really have any secret to a successful recovery; all I did was abstain from PMO, make sure to eat healthily, and gradually incorporate physical exercise into my lifestyle until I built up enough stamina to make it a regular part of my routine.

I know exactly how you feel in this regard. I got addicted somewhere between the ages of 12 and 14 and didn't realize until I was 31 that my PMO addiction was causing all my physical and psychological problems. I'm 33 years old now and constantly lament over the fact that I threw away a lot of my teen years and twenties on PMO. I was able to sustain a relationship with a girl for almost three years in my early twenties, but I frigged that up because of my PMO addiction and also because I was an obnoxious lout who liked to drink a lot. The only thing I can take solace in is the fact that I'm an entirely different person to what I was a decade ago, so I guess that counts for something. But at the end of the day, I still can't help but feel like I invested a lot of time into something that did nothing but rob me of my youth.

I can also relate to the severity of the withdrawal symptoms that you're going through. They were absolutely horrible when I started NoFap 21 months ago. They still tend to come and go in waves, but the severity seems to lessen with each successive wave, and so does the duration. It's a long climb to the top, but it's an exponential process that does gradually get easier. I've got the pains and pressure sensations in my head today, and they're quite intense and irritating. I try to be optimistic and remember that the withdrawal discomforts are a good thing because it means that changes are occurring behind the scenes. Nobody ever accomplished anything by being comfortable and content all the time.

 

Maybe you are with your priceless experience the one to break the ice of social stigma and lack of awareness ? Kind of pioneer ?

 

You might want to give co-enzyme Q10 a go if you haven't already. I also had severe chronic fatigue as a result of PMO and along with gradually easing into physical activity, it was the only other thing which improved my condition. Don't expect miracle results though, it was just a little booster for me. I'm also exactly 6 months in, started 19th September lol.

@Mr. Kruger What month did you feel normal again and that PAWS was more of an inconvenience as opposed to life consuming?

 

I'd say it was about ten months before the withdrawal symptoms started getting better to the point where I was able to function fairly well in everyday life. Like I mentioned in my previous post, recovery is never linear, and withdrawal symptoms don't just steadily wind down like you're recovering from a cold or something. The bouts of withdrawal symptoms will come in waves, but each successive wave gets less intense, and the duration seems to be shorter each time. The initial withdrawal symptoms are the most barbaric, and once you've got those out of the way, the ones you experience a year later will seem like a minor inconvenience by comparison. I kind of like the fact that I got to battle the most relentless demons at the beginning of my recovery because it seems like it just gets easier from there.

 

That's actually a great fucking idea. Thanks man! I don't know why but my cholesterol levels are always low and Coq10 might help me a lot.

 

Yeah, I've tried Co-q10 extensively in the past. Cost a fortune and barely made any difference.

 

Congratulations for reaching one year mate! Big milestone

 

Because cfs doesn’t have a defined pathology, what works for one person is unlikely to work for another. Too bad it didn’t for you @Dave G 123, I’d defo give it a go if you haven’t already though @Masked-Debater.

Anyone else really struggling with health anxiety despite knowing that it’s PAWS when thinking rationally? Can’t shake the feeling that there’s an underlying condition which is permanent and causing my misery. It’s talked about a lot on the weed PAWS forums but not so much on PMO forums...

 

Thanks dude!

 

Actually I've used Coq10 years ago without any success but now that I'm 1 year nofap I think I'm going to try it again. At least it doesn't make things any worse.

Also, I've made an appointment Monday to get my Pregnenolone levels tested. I've tried to take Preg and Dhea in the past to help with hormones and stress response but it only made things worse. Afterwards, I spent a fortune testing my sex hormones and my Estrogen was unbelievably high so I just stopped. But I've also recently read that taking to much Preg or Dhea (which I tend to do) can cause over stimulation and that very low doses (like 2.5 mg) have helped a lot of people. So, this time I'm going to use Pregnenolone by itself in low dose and test Preg levels directly. If your pregnenolone levels aren't right then nothing downstream will be either. Of all the hormone labs that docs have ordered in the past, no one has looked at my Preg levels even though it's known that my Cholesterol is low. Pregnenolone is made directly from cholesterol and precedes all the other sex and adrenal hormones. With me there is such an obvious connection to physical and mental stress response that it seems like a maladapted hormone system has to be involved in this. Wish me luck.

 

Really appreciating this thread. It actually didn't occur to me that I'm dealing with PAWS until this week - that's how completely lost and divorced from reality I was for years. Couldn't relate to anyone or anything else. The hellish 3-5 years I've just been through have saved my physical life, and now there's just the question of what I can make out of the ribbons that are left.

 

Not going to lie I'm super depressed by my lack of progress.