P.A.W.S. - what are they, cure, duration

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Fenix Rising, May 12, 2019.

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  1. I have some progress to report regarding the flatline.

    During the first year of my recovery I would get these dull headaches from any source of dopamine. I couldn't listen for music for too long at a time. Once I was at a casino playing some video poker and got a headache after awhile. I generally stay away from sweets but having the occasional ice cream would give me an awful headache.

    The aches and brain fog still haven't disappeared 100% but the baseline is way higher now compared to the first year.

    My penile sensitivity is improving by about 1% a day. Overall I'm still in flatline but the nerve sensations are slowly becoming more noticeable to me. This morning in particular the frenulum has become way more responsive. For most guys it is an erogenous zone but due to my addiction I had lost all sensitivity there.

    I did indulge in some sexual thoughts for a little bit and was able to achieve 50% erection for several minutes. Really I shouldn't test it like that but I was curious to see what would happen.

    I had woken up this morning completely refreshed with no aches or brain fog. After testing myself there is now a pronounced headache deep in my skull and pressure on the third eye.

    The majority of reboot reports I've read seem to indicate that libido just wakes up out of nowhere. My experience thus far is that there is slow incremental improvement after a long flatline.

    I'll do my best to avoid further indulgence in sexual thoughts as a means of testing myself.
     
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  2. Bright Man-02

    Bright Man-02 Fapstronaut

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    So you made out of this PAWS hell or still going through?
     
  3. jayyad

    jayyad Fapstronaut

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    Do you have a story somewhere I can read? Or can you tell me what age you started watching porn and if you ever suffered no libido / PIED.
     
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  4. ForeverForward

    ForeverForward Fapstronaut

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    Since I was 12. Maybe around 5-8 a day? It was a lot. This was all the time. There really wasn’t a day when I didn’t do anything.

    It might make develop some positivity, but it’ll hinder your recovery. If it’s prolonging for that long, you’re going to want to go cold on really everything for a good while. There’s more to life than just pretty girls and having a relationship. I won’t comment on the thought of sex being good for a man or not, but it definitely isn’t during recovery of the brain. I don’t think truly anything to stimulate a man being kissing or whatever else is.

    And you’re just dealing with anxiety and depression? If you have any other symptoms, let me know. If I was in your position, I’d go cold turkey. No women. No porn, no nothing.
     
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  5. winningover

    winningover Fapstronaut

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    This is interesting. I think you have elaborated on this before as well. Is it the same feeling as before or it has changed a bit considering more time has passed since your brain escaped hell.
     
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  6. greenishmoon

    greenishmoon Fapstronaut

    Oh dude I feel you so very deeply. How long were you addicted and how long have you been off?
     
  7. Indigo

    Indigo Fapstronaut

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    Good stuff, dude. Congrats.

    Did you have sex in those years of recovery? How about now, any sex without physical or mental consequences?

    Thx
     
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  8. winningover

    winningover Fapstronaut

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    Hey man, I was about to write you directly about my current condition but its good that I write here for everyone.

    My 02 years are completing in about two weeks i.e. at the end of April. This includes about 08 months of hard mode which I am still continuing. Sadly, my PAWS are still ongoing and I haven't felt any recovery in last 06-08 months. If I go back to around Aug 2020, I felt around 50% recovered but from there onwards, I just haven't felt any recovery or any of the symptoms getting better or going away. It just have been quite frustrating and difficult to be honest especially since I am doing hardmode. So to summarize, my recovery from PAWS is on pause for last 08 months for no particular reason I can find. Social anxiety is still killing me. Forehead pressure whenever I am working on a difficult problem or trying to socialize. Anhedonia is gone. Heart rate/breathing is better but not perfect esp in social scenarios. Fight/Flight response is like 20:80 in favor of flight. Eye contact problem is gone. Relationship with wife going down the hill because of hardmode.
     
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  9. zander13

    zander13 Fapstronaut

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    Thought of this analogy:

    Porn addiction is akin to a cut or wound. (Funny that I used to pick my scabs as a kid).

    The moment you start leaving it alone for a couple days, it begins to itch.

    The urge to scratch the itch is especially strong in the beginning phases of the healing process, though the itch never goes away until the wound is fully healed up and scar tissue has taken its place. And even then, small urges to scratch occur until long after the scar tissue has taken the wound's place.

    Each time you give in to the urge to scratch the bastard, the wound deepens and the healing process get's restarted (not always to the beginning, though the deeper the wound the worse the restart, especially with the truly deep ones, which are not only reset, but are usually exponentially worsened by any touching of the wound at all).

    The deeper the wound, the more pain endured during recovery, and the longer the recovery will take.

    If the wound is left alone for a long period, and then scratched forcefully and severely, the wound get's deepened more than if the itch had been lightly scratched on a daily basis. The reason for this is the the wounded skin becomes tender during the healing process, leaving a painful, open door that would otherwise be covered, thus exposing the full depth of the wound. If the exposed core of the wound is then violently itched, true, deep damage occurs, though you are never beyond the threshold of recoverable.

    Scratching around the wound doesn't alleviate the itching sensation, though you often do so because the urge to scratch can be so potent at certain intervals.

    In essence, the scratching sensation can only be alleviated through the actual itching of the wound.

    Also, during high pain intervals, it is very difficult to think of anything else other than the wound and how painful and itchy it is. It is nigh near impossible to be immersed in the life around you while this wound of yours is pulsating with pain and itchiness. This is something you will truly despise about the wound's existence.

    Itchiness often accompanies healing pains, though either can appear without the other.

    Depending on the severity of the wound, your whole body is affected by it. Energy is lost in the restoration, whilst other processes are altered as the body searches for homeostasis.

    The scar tissue left over can seem unsightly to an untrained, outsider's perspective, unless the outsider is someone with empathy, or is someone who has scars of their own and, henceforth, know how trying the process can be. Respect is given immediately.

    To scar is tougher than the skin surrounding it, though, ironically, it is easier to open than the softer, untouched tissue.

    The existence of the scar allows you to truly appreciate what's it's like to not be wounded. Life becomes richer because of this awareness.

    (To Don)--Sometimes you have to relearn how to live without the itchiness and pain, since so much of your current self was built around recovering from the wound without, once, itching it. Also, the other pains of life make themselves known now that the deep wound is no longer occupying all of your attention.

    You may learn that the wound was, at first, created because you didn't want to feel those other pains. But now you are a much stronger person, and are able to address those pains with your newfound appreciation for how minor they are compared to the one that made that giant fucking scar.


    Not very poetic. I'm still a dumb mother-effer because of my symptoms, but I think this helps me make sense of this bullshit.
     
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  10. winningover

    winningover Fapstronaut

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    02 years of no porn & no masturbation which includes last 08 months of hardmode and continuing.

    I have no idea what sleeping with my wife would do to me. Further, because of PAWS, I am in no mood to have sex. I just want to continue my hardmode until I recover.

    Yes, the head pressure does interfere because it is followed by brain fog, anxiety and fight/flight response. This occurs almost always in a social scenario. It's like my social anxiety kicks in one symptom after another culminating in fight/flight response in the end.
     
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  11. Dave G 123

    Dave G 123 Fapstronaut

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    I've got to say, sex could hold back your recovery. Have you talked to your wife about what you're doing, and what you're going through?
     
  12. winningover

    winningover Fapstronaut

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    Yes, the last time I had sex with my wife was 08 months ago. If you remember, I started nofap to cure PIED. After it got cured, I obviously started having sex with my wife. Then God blessed us with a beautiful daughter. I used the pregnancy and delivery time to go hard mode to speed up my recovery process. Yes, my recovery has been gradual. Not all of a sudden.
    Yes man. Obviously. Read my story in the signature below of my earlier recovery from PIED.
     
  13. greenishmoon

    greenishmoon Fapstronaut

    I hope it goes like you say.
     
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  14. winningover

    winningover Fapstronaut

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    So basically, what you're saying is that you did 02 years normal mode followed by 02 years hard mode ? And after that you felt normal ?
     
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  15. DerJogge

    DerJogge Fapstronaut

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    As my cognition and energy levels are at a really bad point right now. I‘m feeling a lot of peace by just reading those words. Thanks Don for coming by and giving us all some courage and motivation. It's highly appreciated mate
     
  16. Indigo

    Indigo Fapstronaut

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    Yep, same here. Feels like Alzheimers and CFS at the same time. Wish I could be on some deserted green island for a couple of years. Society's demands are not really beneficial for recovery. I feel like a slave in our civilisation
     
  17. greenishmoon

    greenishmoon Fapstronaut

    It would be more concerning if you didn't felt anything about it.
     
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  18. My original hypothesis regarding PMO addiction was that if one has gotten to the point of suffering from ED or PAWS then 100% abstinence is the only remedy that will work. The more I read the testimonies of others, the more I am convinced this is true.
     
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  19. Indigo

    Indigo Fapstronaut

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    Could be. I'm not sure about practicing Karezza and stuff, though. I think the main culprit could be orgasm, after all. Maybe Karezza is producing rather non-addictive substances in the brain, depending on the degree of exercising that. I dunno. All I know for sure is that this is the most absurd thing I ever had to go through. I've always been very aware of a healthy lifestyle. And now I get punished like I drank litres of benzol in the past.

    Once I'm through this f... sh..., I will see life in a very different way and maybe I will be able to regard my former addiction as a gift then.
     
  20. Cyberpunk3000

    Cyberpunk3000 Fapstronaut

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    Hi all
    Is there any hope for someone who started having PIED/PE around the age of 22 but kept pmo'ing until 29,all while being in a relationship and would need head to get an erection and barley lasted few mins. Lost libido around 24-25. And a broken or nonexistent Refractory period. The only reason being couldn't connect the dots and was like a zombie jus going through the addicition without even realising it, as porn being the culprit. Most seem to identify and relate it to porn within a year or two of PIED.
    Currently 1 year off porn(mo'ed 6-8times in the first six months not to porn) and 6months no pmo. Off social media(though I was using insta for a while but never used it for fapping ever) but yes I do follow some models but mostly for my hobbies and for memes and stuff but I am off that as well)

    Faced all the severe PAWS symptoms and still trucking through. But the worst is insomnia for me. Despite being very health conscious (no alcohol, smoking nor drugs or weed) ate healthy,worked out 5-6times a week during my Pmo days and as well now, which is last 5-6 years. But never figured out what was causing my problem.
    I have added more healthy habits apart from exercise and eating heathy. The only place I fall apart is sleep. Always been my Achilles heel for almost a decade, it has a correlation in my increase since my porm use when I was 18-19.
    Jus ordered melatonin to reset my circadian rhythm. Hoping to correct that aspect of my life as well.

    Do you guys think, there is anything left to salvage from my situation? Sometimes I feel I will be back to normal sexually and spirituallly and sometimes I feel like am the most severe case and it's a lost cause. As I have pied,pe,no libido and refractory period for such a long time and starting the recovery only a year back. As of now, No sign of random erections to the slightest, NO libido but morning wood returned ever since abstinence but not 100%. Firmness and glans being soft with Maybe 70% firmness and would lose it right away.
     

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