P.A.W.S. - what are they, cure, duration

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Fenix Rising, May 12, 2019.

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  1. Yeah, social anxiety, agoraphobia, panic attacks, worry about the future and dying, not live in the pres3nt moment but instead in a virtual world, visual snow. Basically every symptoms named on this site I've had all.
    I used to have insane nightmares for 3 years straight. Chronic insomnia, I'm either super hungry or uninterested in food.
    6 years in nofap including 3 years of insane PAWS.
    If you are severe case of pmo, it could take 2 years harmode or 3 years of slim relapses.
     
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  2. Monkeyboyab2c

    Monkeyboyab2c Fapstronaut

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    If it makes you feel better to complain then complain. I don’t like that I’m almost 500 days into this thing and still feel like trash a lot of the time. I feel I got a lot to complain about. One thing we can’t complain about is that I am no longer a slave and neither are you. You are going through it right now especially being in India. I do not envy you. However once you get through this season in your life, I fully believe you will be able to get through anything life throws at you. Who knows, the man that you become, maybe many people will envy that guy. You are voluntarily putting yourself through an incredibly terrible experience to make yourself better. Do you know how much of a bad ass that makes you? Try not to lose hope. You can endure. I don’t even know you and yet, I believe in you!
     
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  3. zander13

    zander13 Fapstronaut

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    Man I hope you're right. What you just described is very, very similar to my experience. That gives me hope, for sure. God bless you man.
     
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  4. zander13

    zander13 Fapstronaut

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    I just want to thank everyone on this thread. It seems like such a silly thing, but it really isn't. It's so majorly important to me.

    Thank you very much for the support and the love. I can feel it.

    I love you guys, even though I don't know you. We all have this shared pain and it's so fucking unique that I can't help but feel bonded to the words I'm reading.

    Thank you so much.
     
  5. zander13

    zander13 Fapstronaut

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    Yeah I'm INFP
     
  6. MeTP

    MeTP Fapstronaut

    I often feel it similar way. Like the kind of purgatory and readjusting of brain in the same moment. In the morning - hell (sometimes I need 1,5 -2 hours to realign with myself), then few minutes of old forgotten peaceful feelings and hope and then anxiety. And horrible attention disorder flying like a fucking wind, now I know its dissociation from body due to CPTSD. Inability to organize mind in simple terms, inability to extract and integrate many of useful thoughts, observations and experiences. Like I dont have solid ground inside me to build life experience and grow along with it as personality. And then I feel brain-dead.
    Fucking confusion. Until the next blink of hapiness.
    Also I'm retraining now to feel all this misery and pain to the fullest in hope of one day I will be back from the dead.
     
  7. ForeverForward

    ForeverForward Fapstronaut

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    Hello gentleman. I want to say something for those who are currently struggling.

    One thing you should always remember : this does not last forever. These withdrawals do not last forever, nor does this life we live. We will all die one day. Of course, this should NOT motivate you to commit suicide/take the cowards way out, but rather bring you comfort. If you’re ever in the thoughts of “will I ever recover? Am I stuck like this?” One day we won’t be on this earth. One day, we won’t be dealing with this. It makes you know that you won’t be suffering for an eternity.

    Imagine not dealing with these issues.. wouldn’t it be just pure bliss? While we’re here, we must FIGHT, and FIGHT LIKE HELL. Fight for the moment when you’ll feel normal again. Fight for all the great moments in this life that you have yet to experience. You’re on a mission. A conquest. And you must CONQUER. If that means abandoning society, ridding yourself of all access of digital technology, and living on an island by yourself with absolutely no way of you being able to be tempted until you recover, fucking do it. You cannot show mercy.

    Each and every one of us here has a purpose that we’re meant to fulfill. Personally, I view “PAWS” as not only a struggle to build myself into a new, but also punishment from our creator. We’re most likely the first ever people to deal with this in human history, as well as the first ever people who’ve gone deep down such a perverted and immoral rabbit hole. We will also be the first humans to ever recover from it.

    You must stay strong, no matter what. One of the worst things that could ever happen to us is for us to die, and then see what we could’ve been if we truly toiled towards greatness.
     
    Last edited: May 14, 2021
  8. jayyad

    jayyad Fapstronaut

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    One of the things I keep telling myself that keeps me going is how strong I will be once this is over, how unstoppable I will be once my penis could get hard with a real women, how valuable I will be once my brain has not only recovered but has access to its full potential. As time slips through my fingers and I’m not able to do anything about it, it just helps me realize how powerful I must be when I return. The things I viewed were not suppose to be seen by the naked eye, God did not put me here to watch those things. I understand I must suffer, it will only make me a stronger man
     
  9. KaliYugaWarrior

    KaliYugaWarrior Fapstronaut

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    Thank you brother! For me this has been really tough but I am trying my best. Everyday is truly a new day for me. I don't know what to expect good or bad. While recently, I've been feeling good mentally but physically I'm broken. My knees are giving me terrible time.

    Let's hope this ends and someday we all can celebrate. This truly is our own Shawshank Redemption. We have to bear it and try not make things worse. Peace
     
  10. Mzmz2627

    Mzmz2627 Fapstronaut

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    Hi every one
    Guys I have big problem
    Since 132 days when I started NoFap most of days I sleep 3-4 hours sleeping
    Most of days I'm waking up 3.30 am and I can't sleep again
    Any one face that before bcoz it is really difficult

    Also I have serve depression and anxiety
    Please I need help
     
    Last edited: May 14, 2021
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  11. sikreodds97

    sikreodds97 Fapstronaut

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    Welcome to post acute withdrawal aka the flatline. You will suffer and it will be the hardest thing youve ever done, but after its finished you will feel absolutely amazing.
     
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  12. DerJogge

    DerJogge Fapstronaut

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    We’re so many people going through PAWS by now it’s crazy. This really seems to be a whole new phenomenon hitting the masses sooner or later.
     
  13. Mzmz2627

    Mzmz2627 Fapstronaut

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    Do u already healed?
     
  14. jayyad

    jayyad Fapstronaut

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    I just want my dick to fucking work already, have a 10/10 girlfriend, fucking VIRGIN, and I can’t have sex with her lmfaoo. My life’s a joke
     
  15. Mzmz2627

    Mzmz2627 Fapstronaut

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    My big problem right now is serve insomnia , depperssion and anxiety it's horrible
     
  16. Cyberpunk3000

    Cyberpunk3000 Fapstronaut

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    I was exactly like you. Until day 190. I decided to try melatonin but a very low dose. 300-500 mcg. I have been sleeping a lot better and my anxiety and depressive mood has alleviated a lot. It's a vicious cycle. A lack of sleep will cause terrible mood. You have to take it at the same time every night. And you need to sleep and wake up at the same.time everyday even on weekends. Seems to be working for me the last three weeks.
     
  17. MeTP

    MeTP Fapstronaut

    Guys yesterday I felt like I will die. It was really Dark Night of The Soul.
    Yesterday I went through most crazy episode. During day I was close to relapse.
    In the afternoon, after bad day of being dissociated and tensed I was literally two breaths away to scream that somebody call the emergency because I'm dying.
    I was really convinced that I'm dying. Luckily I was at least aware to just breath and not act on emotions; thought that I'm experiencing rage mixed with furious frustration and desire popped up in my head and few moments later came real calm. Rest of the day was calm.
    This addiction, starting from 10 y.o. MOing, hijacked seriously my brain that I sense the biggest and most scary part of addictive neural path finally died. It feels like final attack of frustrated monster finally came to have his prey on me.
    I don't know I someone of you remember LOTR moment when Gandalf said "Shall not pass" to Barlog. I literally felt the same. After that fight, Gandalf fell dawn with Barlog into abyss, to be reborn as Gandalf The White. I don't expect something like that but I guess next days may be hard.
    It was this furious and I was convinced that I'm dying.
    Guys - be prepared for everything.
    [​IMG]

    I found out that I never developed resources to cope with stress and leaving addiction left me naked and ungrounded to any kind of stress. Orgasm is obviously like grounding cord to every tension. I was helpless like a kid to life situations.
    I reminded yesterday that moment of nervous breakdown I had when I was 19 and lying on the ground powerless for days - I was then unaware of being scared that I will die. From then, every stressor and every moment of helplessness, every moment of weakness of the body is equal to death sentence. It's triggering trauma. This is the reason I was fighting hard to stay active and do anything with life and running from problems. It resulted of my overall burnout and need to surrender to all that I was running from. I hadn't resources to cope with life, I trusted no one and I even not trusted myself because there was always something sabotaging my life, like inner traitor waiting to sabotage my life. Fuck this is crazy.
    I woke up today only a little bit anxious, unlike as in the previous days. I feel better.
     
    Last edited: May 15, 2021
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  18. MeTP

    MeTP Fapstronaut

    Indeed @Mzmz2627 these kind of sleep disruption are probably PAWS. Improving sleep is one of the most important things, but you have to go through some rough time with insomnia and mood altered due to lack of proper regenerative sleep stages. I would advise you to attend therapy or seek professional help. But all in all, try going routinely sleeping at the same time, avoid screens 2 hours prior to sleep. These should help. Rest you have to find, but distorted sleep is really fucking up life. I experienced distorted sleep half of my life and it taught me painfully how important sleep is. Rebooting means retraining and finding missing links, together with rough time of discomfort.
     
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  19. Mzmz2627

    Mzmz2627 Fapstronaut

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    But for me it's first time in my life to feel that
     
  20. Cyberpunk3000

    Cyberpunk3000 Fapstronaut

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    I
    I couldn't agree more with every statement here. Last 15 years I have struggled with sleep because of pmo habit which fucked up the brain. Insomnia during abstinence. Sleep is one the three pillars of life. Of you read Matthew walkers "why we sleep" book, you get in depth insight. Half the battle is won with proper sleep.
     
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