P.A.W.S. - what are they, cure, duration

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Fenix Rising, May 12, 2019.

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  1. Humanexperiments

    Humanexperiments Fapstronaut

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    Im not sure how alcohold impacts the reboot. It definitely impacts the brain for many days after if you drink a lot though, so I try not to drink too often. Basically the PAWS symtpoms feel worse than normal, and I get horrible anxiety.

    I have most of the PAWS symptoms like depression, anxiety, brain fog, cognitive impairment, low libido, very few emotions, and the list goes on. Even though I have «everything» I feel like I have nothing. Life feels meaningless and awful, but the hope of recovering keeps me going. Im closing in on 3 years no porn, but not hardmode. MO only a handful of times over a year ago, to see how it would impact me.
     
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  2. Dave G 123

    Dave G 123 Fapstronaut

    Hey, 3 years is really good going. What are your energy levels like at this stage?
     
  3. Humanexperiments

    Humanexperiments Fapstronaut

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    Thanks mate. Energy levels are not too good. Im deep in paws and have to force myself to do most things.
     
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  4. humbleone

    humbleone Fapstronaut

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    Just want to say regarding the getting complacent, that happened to me around 15-16 months mark, and I ended up relapsing on and off for next 6 months, stay strong all the way to the finish line, if such a thing even exists

    I'm currently 5 weeks monk mode. This year my total time so far is 5 months monk mode and 5 months intermittently dating, sex and mo, and some pmo.

    Some basic timeframes are

    March 2019 - November 2019 - monk mode (circa 8 months)
    November 2019 - one off 24hrs sex with girl and alcohol/cocaine (1 day)
    November 2019 - October 2020 - 90% monk mode, 10% hard mode with about 4 weeks of sexting/tinder (no mo or pmo, no orgasm at all) (circa 10/11 months)
    October 2020 - December 2020 - multiple sexual partners (maybe 5-6), pmo, tinder etc etc
    January 2021 - April/May 2021 - monk mode (circa 4 months)
    May 2021 - August 2021 - intermittent pmo, sex, mo, dating, p-subs
    Sep 21 - now - monk mode (circa 5 weeks)

    Just want to say every time I go back anywhere near sexuality I get sucked back in like a magnet. The above timeframes are rough and from memory, would have to go over my posts to get 100% accurate timframe.

    Overall I feel as though if I go 6+ month streak Ill get to the best place since starting this journey. Will close this year out with 6months or 50% monk mode

    Everytime I go back to sexuality, it gets dark pretty quick, in every sense of the word. Everything changes, my thoughts, perspectives, paradigms, emotions, symptoms. Really is dangerous, and advise anyone reading to use my data to learn from my journey
     
  5. Humanexperiments

    Humanexperiments Fapstronaut

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    Ive come to a point in life where I would rather die than relapse to porn, and I really mean it.

    I dont count sex as a relapse, but it most likely slows down recovery. For me masturbation feels like a waste of time, and just short term pleasure. I have experimented with it many times in previous reboots. Its also to close to PMO for my liking. «Real og no deal»

    I look forward to posting my recovery story in the future, hopefully around the 3-3,5 year mark :)
     
  6. WhitePanther

    WhitePanther Fapstronaut

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    I'm now on 5 months and 2 weeks.

    My life has totaly changed for the better so much. I have small periods of PAWS with depression but they get smaller and smaller in frequency. However I have recently started to integrate tantra/taoist philosophy regarding my sexuality and last night i'm watching a online course regarding this. There was no genitals or interrcourse but people with very little clothes demonstrating techniques etc.

    After just watching a total of 3 minutes I could feel my dopamin receptors flooding me with dopamin the same ways when I used to watch my porn binges. I turned it off.

    Today I woke up and have had the worst depressive day I can recall. Insomnina all night, anxiety through the roof and brainfoog. Somehow I'm scared that I just threw almost 6 months rebooting out of the window because of this. Seriously 3 minutes of not even direct pornography, it goes to show how unbelivable sensitive our neural pathways are when rebooting.

    I just had to get this off my chest. Today has been a really frustrating day and alot of sadness. I wish you all the best beating this addiction. It really has been one of the biggest struggles of my life.

    All the best,
    W
     
    Brain Fog, fusion47, AuwL0ng and 3 others like this.
  7. Dave G 123

    Dave G 123 Fapstronaut

    I've done similar things. I don't think you have thrown away 6 months of recovery; maybe a little setback that might affect you for a week or two. The main thing is that you saw the problem and did something about it - that was what I would classify as a "bloody victory" rather than a defeat.
     
  8. humbleone

    humbleone Fapstronaut

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    Dont ever think that watching 5 minutes of x, or 10 minutes or y resets 6 months of abstinence.

    I have relapsed enough now to know the impact. You will essentially feel like shit, like you did in the beginning for a few days or a week tops, but then you are back to where you were before you 'relapsed'. This refractory period gets quicker and quicker, to the point I assume when you're healed this is basically 0
     
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  9. Monkeyboyab2c

    Monkeyboyab2c Fapstronaut

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    This is just a general question for everyone? What are some of the crazy thoughts that float around your head when you are in the middle of a wave that seem like total nonsense when you are out of one? I’ve gone from points of complete and total nihilism to being certain that reality was going to unravel right in front of me. For me they seem to go way beyond negative self talk. Just wondering what your guy’s experience has been like.
     
  10. wfcasdvwervdsv

    wfcasdvwervdsv Fapstronaut

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    I feel absolutely rotten after my recent relapse. I'd actually forgot how bad it can get but now I'm feeling it again. It feels as through I've wiped out any recovery from my 13 month streak, but I really hope that this horrible feeling is temporary and I will get back to where I was before I relapsed. I'll probably give it a month and if it still feels I'm at the start, I might have to go on an antidepressant because I can't deal with another 13 months + like that without any relief in-between.
     
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  11. humbleone

    humbleone Fapstronaut

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    Interesting I have the reality unravel infront of me feeling, as though Im going to collapse into nothingess
     
  12. Legacy of Lost Soul

    Legacy of Lost Soul Fapstronaut

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  13. KaliYugaWarrior

    KaliYugaWarrior Fapstronaut

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    Has anyone tried collagen supplements for joint pain
    ?
     
  14. I'm closing in on two years since I started my journey, 20+ months of which I did complete semen retention. It's clear to me that there is still a lot of healing left to do.

    Yesterday morning I woke up late feeling completely groggy, it was almost a reminder of my old drinking days. All day I felt lethargic and I had one of my worst workouts in recent memory. Just no energy, it was a chore to half ass it through my sets. Skipped my morning meditation and when I got home I hit the bed immediately. Contrast to this morning where I woke up sharp at 4am, had an intense workout, and was in the zone in my meditation. The brain is still doing its thing while it is healing.

    I lose sight of that sometimes but that is what is truly going on: our brains are trying to reverse years of abuse, actually a lifetime in my case.

    I've been masturbating as long as I can remember and I'm in my forties. My physical, mental, emotional, financial, and spiritual development have all been corrupted by my addiction which was brought on by childhood abuse.

    I don't log on to this site or peruse the other nofap sites much anymore. Finally I've accepted that this will not be a one year or even two year fix, I've got a lot of healing left to do. When I first started doing semen retention I was desperate to get to the finish line as quickly as possible because I wanted my dick to work so I could start fucking random thots again.

    Now I just want to be normal. I credit meditation for giving me proper perspective.

    Nothing to do except continue on with recovery without complaint.
     
  15. Vicbar93

    Vicbar93 Fapstronaut

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    Yes Collagen protein powder and bone broth, No real affect from it to be honest
    I tried it to see if it would help my stiff knees. Tumeric and black pepper is worth a try
     
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  16. Red Moon

    Red Moon Fapstronaut

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    26 months in the Flatline and counting...this doesn´t end...
     
  17. MeTP

    MeTP Fapstronaut

    Hi bros. Update from me.

    Although I experienced many positivity and flow of life since my last post here, actually I returned to not-so-functional state, because there is still issues to resolve. I don't put myself in position of PAWS anymore, because my situation is more complex than putting all into PAWS frame. But it's not my main point.

    My point is, that because I finally have been guided to and faced with threshold of my whole physical being which meant - either I have to come back to masturbation and ejaculation to release tension to reduce sensitivity and gain attention back or I have to still hold it and be oversensitive to everything, ungrounded and with screwed attention span. All was about inner tension, muscle spasms, ADD, fucked up sleep. None of this was option for me anymore so third way appeared.

    For one more time TRE exercises appeared in my life - lying on the yoga mat, my body just started to do this exercise 4 days ago and this is what grounds me the mostly and simply. What's more important, I reclaimed my sleep by 70 % but this 70% percent is about 10000000 times better quality of life and restful sleep. I started to have dreams, I'm more in the body and body started to push me to life, instead of holding me back, I'm not oversensitive to cold temperature and I feel like by body is more warm. I can sleep nearly normal since 4 days, day by day without exception. I sleep 8 hours not 10 and I wake up naturally.

    TRE is the most simple way of releasing excess energy and relaxing psoas muscles and pelvis area, where stress is being stored much, thus disconnecting us from body, life and daily aspects. Before I was like bottle of champagne, constantly under pressure, ready to explode, with having strange tensions in my head. You know this.
    This is not magical wand, but it can improve sleep and thats the most important and sensitive area that I believe should be improved as first - I have more than 16 years of insomnia issues and bad sleep behind me, and problems caused by inability to have restful sleep. Also I quit coffee.
    Don't give up folks !
    TRE® (Tension & Trauma Releasing Exercises): Full Instructions with Dr. David Berceli (OFFICIAL)
     
  18. Mahalac

    Mahalac Fapstronaut

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    You all sound very pesimistic to me. I began my journey 20 months ago, had some relapses (maybe 10 of them), had sex with gf few times. I can say that I feel like completly new and advanced person in comparison with the time I fapped every day for decades. We all made pretty big damages on our brains and we just need more time to heal. Keep strong, brothers.
     
  19. Selfdiscovery

    Selfdiscovery Fapstronaut

    20 months flatline?? Do you get morning wood, Any day? And what about when performing with a real person,did it responds and get quality erection??
    Really it's very complex addiction and society needs better awareness and information to tackle it and it's post effects.
     
    UWSDave likes this.
  20. Eternal Struggler

    Eternal Struggler Fapstronaut

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    20 months is pretty much the minimum someone go through paws lol I barely watched porn and still had to endure 2 years of this hell

    at this point its not even a reach to say that porn PAWS is the worst, I mean, even heavy drinkers are cured from that shit in less than a year
     
    fusion47 likes this.

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