P.A.W.S. - what are they, cure, duration

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Fenix Rising, May 12, 2019.

  1. humbleone

    humbleone Fapstronaut

    @zander13 don't blame yourself for don etc deleting posts. Its such a shame the felt they had to remove their inspiration

    Im coming up to almost 3 years on this journey, I can't seem to break free, PAWS is a killer, I can go months and months monk mode with no respite, and then end up having sex etc, and then get plunged back into the depths of hell, seems like no way out sometimes
    MeTP, Freeddom_Taker and zander13 like this.
  2. winningover

    winningover Fapstronaut

    Hello everyone and thanks @zander13 for tagging me. It was a wakeup call that I needed to perhaps post something of an update here as its been a very long time. Many a reasons for me losing interest in this forum. Primary reason would be that I am not battling PAWS like I used to after 31 months long streak. Second, people I was in touch with, like Phoenix Rising (who started this thread) and Don Quixote have left so I couldn't find anyone else here ahead of me in the streak to take the useful guidance. Thirdly, I also wanted to experiment if taking a break from this forum would be in any way useful.

    As of my update, I would say that I have recovered from PAWS very very very slowly. The only thing that I still struggle with is social anxiety and I am not sure if its due to PAWS or PTSD. I find myself inclining towards PTSD because I have been through considerable trauma in last 31 months and something has to stick from all that. My social anxiety has definitely improved though from where it started but I haven't seen any improvement in that for last year or so therefore I am seriously thinking of starting therapy for that. I haven't taken any therapy at all throughout the process and recovered on my own and with a lot of help from this forum.

    I was still sufferings from my worst symptoms all over again about 6 months back but somehow they all evaporated completely and haven't come back to haunt me until now. It was quite a weird experience because when I really thought the worse was behind me, I just started having PAWS of month#1. They lasted for about 2 weeks after leaving me perhaps for forever. Nobody knows how recovery actually works in your physical brain although there is a lot of theory but nobody really knows. So @zander13 , when I read your last post above, I could relate some of the thoughts that you must be having after 27 months. We have no option but to keep going and trust the process. The experience that I had or the experience that you're having is quite unique and makes us feel so lonely out there out of all the recovery stories. I was here on this forum 6 months trying to find answers if I could start having worst PAWS after 24 months. But I felt alone and scared but I read other experiences of ppl in recovery having their unique PAWS experiences. So we are all together in this unique way because when plasticity of the brain kicks in, the PAWS fireworks, timings, lightings, explosions and the end result is different for everyone.

    I got covid last week, but it didn't hit me significantly thankfully. I have recovered almost but the fatigue and breathlessness remains. I will write a more detailed post in a while soon. In the meanwhile, I would suggest people here with unanswered questions to start reading this thread from page#1. There isn't any of the recovery or PAWS related aspect which has not been discussed here extensively. This thread is pure gold. Even though many of the long termers have left, their content will remain here forever.
  3. DerJogge

    DerJogge Fapstronaut

    I completed 27 months and it feels like I’m actually making progress. It’s a slow progress but it’s progress. I started to spend more time out in the woods all by myself searching for fatwood, having little carving projects and basically spending time outside even on dark, rainy and cold days. I never could have thought of spending 6 hours in the forest 1-2 years ago. I also feel a lot more self-sufficient and I actually enjoy spending time on my own. I often feel loneliness in a way of missing a female companion and seeing other couples always induces some form of pain but it’s actually more motivating then demotivating. I understood that being alone serves a great purpose that nothing else can substitute. Being alone and making yourself happy is a key concept for living a happy life, at least for me. I think this is the hurdle that I have to overcome and to work on while my brain is doing the rest. For me PAWS has become liveable. There are things that I enjoy and although my brain is still fluctuating a lot there is small degree of consistency.

    I‘m also going through cycles but in the last 1-2 months they seem to soften up as it’s hard for me to identify where I‘m currently at, which at least for me is a good sign. I think I still need some months to go for my sleep to resolve. I started trying to implement a tight sleep regime again because I remembered that every time I felt good in the past I usually went to sleep at the same time everyday: 23:00 / 11pm. Bad sleep, fatigue and derealisation are still my worst symptoms.

    I also signed myself up for the gym and I noticed that I barely feel any social anxiety anymore. Some feeling of uneasiness but nothing like a strong stress reaction which I had in the past.

    My best recommendation for anyone would be trying to live life despite of PAWS. It takes a certain degree of energy to get yourself out in the world but since I have that energy I‘m feeling way better although I still have very dark and hopelessness days.

    This post of a guy that came out of PAWS after 30+ months is one of my anchor points since a few weeks as he is exactly going through the things I am going through and I can only highly recommend reading his success story and ignore that it revolves around weed. I am an ex porn/Sex/drug addict and I still see barely any difference beside my symptoms and psychological phenomena’s. Maybe for derealisation, as I don’t read about that in here very often.


    If anyone is interested in reading Dons old post which he deleted then he could use the wayback internet archive to go back in time to a date where Don was still present in this forum. Just google „wayback machine“ and Play around with it to figure out how it works.
    DC1234 and Dave G 123 like this.
  4. Dave G 123

    Dave G 123 Fapstronaut

    Thanks guys for these posts over the last 24 hours. It really means something to know that I'm not all alone in all of this. The questions I keep asking myself every day are: "How long is this going to take!?" and then on my worse days: "Is recovery even possible?". I hope it is.
  5. happygilmorescaddy

    happygilmorescaddy Fapstronaut

    hey fellas always read this thread, but havent posted before. im getting all the usual paws. 2 years in recovery , 1st year couldnt get past 1 month, second year had about 3-4 minor slips, this year plan is zero porn completely. PAWS is shite, feel like ive got the mood swings of a pregnant lady sometimes lol. the brain fog is the worst, when u actually try and think and just cant, theres a part of your brain that just doesnt work yet. so my quesstion whats everyones best tips for self care. I do exercise, intermittent fasting, try minimzise processed food as much as possible, i started TM and thats been epic so far . I found it really hard to take risks socially and meet new people, i use to be able to do it as a porn addict easier. I think thats my next step is taking the plunge and meeting new people even though it feels uncomfortable and feels like my foots in my mouth the whole time.
    anyway cheers lads keep up the good work
    MeTP likes this.
  6. Sleep. Check and improve your sleep patterns if needed.
  7. Monkeyboyab2c

    Monkeyboyab2c Fapstronaut

    Thank you so much for posting that guys story.
  8. Ezpz

    Ezpz Fapstronaut

    Hello guys, i have been lurking around on this forum again of late. Some of you may remember me from a while ago as i use to be very active on this forum looking for answers, like you. It has been a 5 or 6 year journey so far, who knows as ive lost track or how long its been at this point.

    PAWS is something that still plagues my existence. My relapse after 16 months of no pmo broke me into pieces. The thought of starting again, i could not do take. Ive spent the last year and a half struggling to try and get some sort of streak going. I am on 7 days now, i have not relapsed this year and of course i do not plan to.

    Its nice to come back to this forum and see that i am not alone in my struggles. I will continue my struggles for as long as it takes, because there is nothing else to be done. My hope is that i can get back to my previous efforts of 16 months and beyond.

    I will probably start being more active on these forums now as some form of hope. I would also like to say that im on ssris to try and cope with the withdrawals. I can probably elaborate on that another time.

    Hope all continues to stay pmo free
  9. Just an update:-

    I am 262 days free from PM( & any O due to PM) without any relapse.Whatever ejaculations I had during this are either due to wetdreams and try to rewire with wife.I am feeling much better than from where I started.I have better energy ,more time, slightly better concentration and patience.Recently I have started to feel normal but that last only for 5-10 minutes and fade away. I feel self motivated to do better in this life changing journey.

    Having said all above ,I must admit that withdrawals are still potent and alive. like pain in lower legs,back,left knee,mood swings,brain fog and I'm in exhaustion and fatigue state most of times.My stomach still feels bloated even if I take really good diet without anything from processed industry.Withdrawals are real and this is the worst of all I think.i don't had any other addiction ,so I'm not aware what withdraws are .I was just going through like that thinking why I feel like this.For first 2 months when I started this streak I felt really good.may be those times I was regular at yoga & exercise but then I became irregular.Except those 2 months ,all these 8 1/2 months I felt horrible.That worst these withdraws are.Mainly after a wet dream or ejaculation it becomes worst and haunt me for 3-4 days then things get a bit better.Specially ejaculations whenever I try to rewire with wife effects more than any wet dreams.

    Second ,my sleep quality is still a big issue.i daily take 7-8 hours sleep but still don't feel rested and refreshed.

    Thirdly my PIED ,PE & ED still persistent with almost zero libido.Most of times I'm in fatigue and exhaustive stage.I tried almost everything to recover PE but later realised that I have ED and that must be improved first to do anything.Intresting thing is that when I was addicted we used to have sex.I was not very hard and had ED & PE issues but still we had sex but strangely after quitting PMO I'm unable to have sex at all.I ejaculate within seconds without any piv and it's persistent.Its very strange.So I reduced the frequency only once a month but I want to rewire myself to normal sex with a real person.Lets see how it goes.i want to cure it desperately.

    I'm still going through withdraws and I'm committed to cross the line this time and prepared for whatever time it takes.Overall I feel better now and I'm motivated.I have no other issues like anxiety , depression or anything except to those I listed above and I believe all are only because of this prolonged PMO addiction for 19-20 years.I started M at 17 then P at 24 and hight speed P at 30.I am 36 now. Means all these years I Oed numerous times doing all this shit.And it's not easy to recover and unwire a long addicted brain like this.I am aware of it.I am taking that atleast it'll take 20-24 months for me to get normal considering prolonged addiction.And I'm nowhere near recovery ,I have walked only 1/3 path probably as on day.

    This thread and mostly long time recoverors have really helped me to understand what's going on and how it all goes even though we all have different durations and conditions.lets see when I'll cross the line for which I'm determined.

    Thanks to all.
    Freeddom_Taker and Dave G 123 like this.
  10. KaliYugaWarrior

    KaliYugaWarrior Fapstronaut

    Brothers, do not take that poison (vax) unless you have strong immunity... I've been suffering really badly since I took it. I already had tons of issues and with no muscle, the psoriasis that has happened because of that shit is burning me. I can't sleep at all. It has spread to my arms and thigh. My entire back is covered with it. I've tried every alternative treatment but a lot of them are time consuming and I'm so bloody tired of finding a cure now for this with least side effects. I wish that shit would have just killed me instead.

    Anyway, Ijust wanted to inform you lads, choice is yours.

    Until next time.
    clapas and TBOTE like this.
  11. TBOTE

    TBOTE Fapstronaut

    Everyone here should take this as a warning. The media would say this such case is rare, but it's not whatsoever. Speaking of rare, everyone here should check out @theysayitsrare on Twitter. It's an account that reposts thousands of testimonies from those who have taken it, reporting issues just like this one. Anastaci91 is an amazing group chat on Telegram which also holds plenty of video/photo testimony.

    Reminder that all of these vaccine companies are corrupt. The information is easily obtainable. The funniest of them all is Pfizer, which is I would say the most taken shot in the world possibly, had to pay a $2.3 billion dollar settlement because they lost a case on health care fraud.


    (This is literally the Department of Justice website).

    If you look into it, every single vaccine/pharma company has real issues, not just Pfizer. It kills me to see that when this issue is confronted, it becomes a political matter and people will automatically attack you to defend it, considering their political side supports it. This shouldn't be such thing whatsoever.
    clapas and KaliYugaWarrior like this.
  12. Dave G 123

    Dave G 123 Fapstronaut

    Can we leave our politics at the door and keep this thread on topic?
    humbleone, HiLoNeo, Ezpz and 3 others like this.
  13. UWSDave

    UWSDave Fapstronaut

    The media and our leaders also want you to believe that Long Covid, a horrifying disease that can be much worse than PAWS, is rare too. I know people that have been left with permanent neurological problems as a result of Covid (and in fact I always wonder if I had a weird case of Covid at one point too and that's what explains some of the problems I attribute to PAWS).

    I'm not saying some people don't have side effects from the vaccines (as they do from any vaccine), but it's all about risks and benefits. Heck, you can look back at my post history and see that I was initially apprehensive about it too. But I'd much rather take my chances with a vaccine than with Covid itself. If a vaccine can mess me up given my fragile state, then I'm sure the actual disease would do much worse.

    And yes, big pharma is bad, but I'm not so much worried about their vaccines being actual poison than I am about the fact that they make sure only rich countries can afford them, and people in the rest of the world are on their own.
  14. Dave G 123

    Dave G 123 Fapstronaut

    There are very few places to talk about the long term effects of excessive PMO - in fact barely anywhere at all. Many people come to this thread looking for answers about why they are dealing with life-changing problems that they barely understand, and for which no-one outside of Nofap has answers; they already have to wade through an absolute ton of text in this thread alone, to find the parts that are relevant. Posts like these are simply diluting the useful, helpful stuff with stuff that isn't.

    Accuse me of living under a rock if you want, but I want to protect this thread, and prevent it from being hi-jacked by something that has little relevance to PAWS. There are many other places to talk about vaccines, COVID, and pretty much anything else. So, in the spirit of giving a damn about people who are suffering serious long term health problems caused by the porn-industrial complex (like me), can we keep it on topic?
  15. Bright Man-02

    Bright Man-02 Fapstronaut

    Guys! who is taking supplements during PAWS for energy and focus? like vitamin b-12, and how is it helping with energy???

    I am exhausted to the bone and don't know what to do, I am extremely down right now and have hard time even writing this paragraph.

    Is every PAWS sufferer disabled like me or mine is tougher?????????

    Sorry for the such a negative vibe, but could anyone help???
    Dave G 123 likes this.
  16. Monkeyboyab2c

    Monkeyboyab2c Fapstronaut

    All I know is every time someone posts something about the vaccine one way or the other this forum goes dead for a couple of weeks.
    Dave G 123 likes this.
  17. Monkeyboyab2c

    Monkeyboyab2c Fapstronaut

    Hey Bro I’m sorry you are going through this. I don’t supplement with anything really. I drink Kombucha every day which I say is for gut health but mostly I just like it. I do deal with crippling exhaustion from time to time. It’s a lot better than it was but in the beginning it was pretty awful.
    I know you don’t feel like doing much at all but I know for me walking helped a lot. It helped me clear my head and gave me something physical to do that wasn't too much for my system to handle. The goal of going further every day or making it up this hill or that hill for the first time felt like real progress in a recovery that seems unending.
    I totally understand if you are not there yet. I’m just letting you know what helped me.
    Dave G 123 likes this.
  18. humbleone

    humbleone Fapstronaut

    Yeah agreed.

    Im still here nearly 3 years on lol, this is the craziest journey of my entire life, I couldnt have imagined 5 years ago that this was even a possibility.

    Im stuck in perpetual PAWS - its wayyyyy better than in the beginning, but mostly because its humbled me and brought me to my knees, and Ive built lots of coping mechanisms, I feel truly sorry for anyone who had to do this journey whilst having to hold down a job etc

    I just cant seem to build up another streak, its almost becuase I know if I go 90 or 180 days Ill still feel like shit, theres no motivation

    I keep doing 30 day streaks; relapse to one night stands and sex.
    Freeddom_Taker likes this.
  19. Ezpz

    Ezpz Fapstronaut

    Been there. I spent most of last year struggling to come to terms with my relapse after 16 months pmo free and knowing that it will take longer than that to recover.

    For me the shitty withdrawal symptoms cause all of my relapses. So it becomes a cycle of constantly seeking relief of pain. I started this journey 5 years ago, never thought id still be struggling with these symptoms.

    Not much we can do really but continue to push forward.
    Dave G 123 and Freeddom_Taker like this.

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