P.A.W.S. - what are they, cure, duration

You didn't understand me.

Let me make it clear: I'm 38 years old. I started watching porn at 24 on VHS and DVD. And I started using porn on the internet at 28.

I'm currently 38. I'll be 39 in 20 days. I was born in January 1982.

I have had a hard time communicating here in English.

I have problems using forums because of that. Because of the language. I speak Spanish.

 

I think it is very good because it can be of great help. Although I do not suffer from any mental symptoms and have never suffered from PAWS it is good that you share with those who need to recover.

It seems that kids who grew up using porn can experience PAWS.

However, my case is very different. Even though I have a happy life and feel good in general I can't deny that I have an addiction to pornography. I like pornography a lot and that's not good.

I would like to leave it behind for at least two years of my life.

 

Found this video, which may be of interest - it may indicate a growing awareness of the kinds of issues we're facing...?

"A roadmap for future research into Problematic Pornography Use" -

The narrator sounds kind of "low energy", but bear with it.

 

yes because they are more susceptible to changes and damages in the nervous system due to traumas and artificial stimulation (in this case, PMO)

 

Hi all,

This year, 2020, is being challenging to me, besides all the shit going on in the world, I quit alcohol addiction 3 months ago and was wondering if my body and mind can clean 2 addictions at the same time, or it is a huge burden to my organism?

 

alcohol? a walk in the park compared to hardcore PMO

 

Yes, 12 months alcohol free is a piece of cake, but PMO, a different ball game altogether.

 

I‘m Alcohol free as well. It’s about 19 months the last time I drank alcohol. It’s even recommended to get out all your addictions at once. There is no sense in cleaning one room full of trash bags while you start to hoard trash bags in the other room.

 

The past 4-5 days have been easier in terms of symptoms. Yesterday was a bit of a return to form but overall the past week has been much better. I hope this is a sign of new things to come. I'm 2 weeks short of 14 mnths so it would fit with the notion that month 14 can be a turning point. Don't want to get too excited though. I've been burned by optimism one too many times and know that it isn't smart to get overhyped about anything.

 

Thanks
It makes sense

 

Anyone else find that if you were to drink alcohol it doesn't have the usual positive effects like it used to before the PAWS?

 

Hey clown! You still have to give me a call! Internet warrior!

No addiction is truly the same. They activate some of the same nerve cells, but also many others. Each addiction activates different parts of the brain and receptors. Also, different parts of the CNS and PNS. Opioid, GHB and benzodiazepine withdrawal can be muuuuch more severe than porn withdrawals. I just think porn addiction is harder to overcome because it is intertwined with our basic sexual instinct. Heroin works on opioids receptors and benzodiazepines on GABA receptors. Very different than PMO addiction. Yes there is some overlap, like the overactive amygdala and stress hormone release, but these addictions and drugs all work different, feel different and have a different healing timeline. I read in this article that opioid withdrawal causes delirium and hyperalgesia. Benzo's can even cause severe psychosis, seizures or death.

So better read some more on the subject matter son! You really started late with your addiction and your brain was pretty much formed the way it has to be. If you start young and your brains are way more plastic, you can get a massive addiction and withdrawal if you have a genetic predisposition.

Anyway, last night I slept like a baby and have a really great day. It's like I am on a constant dopamine high. Full of confidence, motivation and no brain fog! Is the withdrawal over? Or is this that window and wave pattern?

@sanBuenaventura
Just be happy you never had withdrawal, it's horrible. If you had it you would have killed yourself. I saw you whining like a little b/tch in some threads, while saying you felt great. Stop bothering us here f0ol. Many have you on ignore mode anyway. The fuuuck outta here if you keep bothering us.

Anyways, I feel very good today! Nofap is the shit!

 

Hey guys,

just wanted to give a quick Update. I'm currently entering the 15th month and while there were really good days over the last months - I'm stuck in a pretty wild wave at the moment. I mean by now I definitely should now what is going but PAWS sometimes let you question everything. I feel so brain fogged the whole day, I have troubles to find the slightest motivation to do anything and it often feels like I made no progress. I know that this is not true but if your in the middle of a big wave and you just had 7 f*cked up days in a row you can't even imagine what the good days just 3-4 weeks before felt like. I feel like I'm constantly get tricked my own mind. The only thing that I'm doing "wrong" at the moment is my sleep pattern. I had a pretty solid sleep pattern of going to bed at 11pm-11:30pm and this week I had several evenings where I stayed up until 2am. I work on 2 days where I have to get up really early so on the days prior to working I really had troubles sleeping early so I just tend to sleep 5 hours those days which results in me taking a nap after work which then leads to 2am night sessions again. I told myself to get back in bed at 11pm the coming weeks as I feel like this the absolut right time to sleep and everything after 11pm just takes a toll on you. I just realized this by writting his text hat 00:30am...

I also spend a lot of time just browsing the web, not in a mindless way. I was actually buying some tech-things with the money I saved up and did a lot of research but this also tends to not improve my symptoms. So for anyone feeling particular bad, don't spend to much time in front of a screen and go to bed early. No matter if you're in PAWS or not, this seems to be very important for your overall well-being.

Beside that I feel that there is no seretonine or any form of feel good chemical floating around. My whole perspective on everything is kinda meh,bleh and negative. I just feel numb with no joy and everything I do takes enormous willpower. I also had 2 migraine-attacks this week. Nothing compared to the migraines from the years before but still annoying. They are often accompanied by an aura, where I get blind spots all over my vision. I just have to lay down in bed, sleep and wait it out. Luckily I just had some minor headaches and was fine 2-4 hours later. Back in the days I always masturbated when having a bad migraine, this always seemed to ease up the symptoms and sometimes even curing it. I wonder if there is some connection between dopamine/seretonine or overall well being and migraines poping up. It seems like they always come when I'm already stressed out and in a very very dark mood.

One of the positive things is that time is flying by. My feeling of time is pretty much messed up but this sometimes feels like a blessing. It sometimes feels surreal that I'm 14 full months clean of everything while going through all those tragic things and still staying strong. I also manage to control myself in dream scenarios even more. I still indulge in sex while dreaming but the dreams tend to get more vanilla and after some moments I tend to notice that I don't want to orgasm and kinda quit the dream. I incorperated some new strechtes into my evening routine which really seem to help control premature ejaculation. There were times where I just instantly ejaculated the minute I saw some graphic stuff while dreaming. At the moment I'm not on the edge to orgasm once a sexual dream starts. I can slowly feel the energy building up and my intuition always saves me at the moment. Wet dreams are still a mistery to me though.

I also need to learn to not get too hyped about good days and to not cling on them, same as the bad days. But I feel this is a normal reaction if you spend months in a shithole and suddenly you see the light again. I still have to be realistic and lower my expectations. I guess my current wave of symptoms is objectively way better then all the months before but after having 2 good weeks, those symptoms hit you like a train again and let you remember where you came from.

It felt good writing all of this down, it let me put things into perspective, which is good if you are emotionally controlled most of the day.

 

Thanks for the report. It is good to hear from people who are further ahead - it does give hope and perspective, and for me re-assurance that I'm not going mad, or that things are hopeless.

How well would you say you are compared to 12 months ago? IE - what things can you do now, even on a bad day, that you couldn't do at all 12 months ago?

Also, how bad was your sleep 12 months ago, and how much has that improved?

Cheers.

 

Most noticeable change is the fact that I’m able sit down in front of my computer that requires some form of concentration. This wasn’t possible at all. I also tend to feel more comfortable in most social situations. Most of my social anxiety is reduced to a minimum. But beside that many symptoms are still present. Especially derealisation and brain fog seem to be present then ever but as I said I feel like a lot of this had to do with my habits in the woken hours. My sleep improved a lot in the last 3/4 months. Most of the times I’m able to sleep 7-9 hours straight without any interruption or waking up in between. But I still dream a lot and often carry feelings about addiction and relapses that happen in dreams into daily life. I can’t seem to shake off the feelings and emotions of going through a 3 week relapse cycle in a few hours of dreaming. But beside that I would say my sleep quality improved a lot BUT I’m still feeling tired when I wake up. I can’t remember the last time when I woke feeling refreshed and hyped for the day. My sleep 12 months ago wasn’t very deep and dreams were feeling super real and scary.

 

How much sleep were you getting 12 months ago, and have you used medication for it? My sleep is terrible - I'm pretty dependent on medication to get any, and I'm starting to worry about just how long I've been taking it.

 

Y did u watched porn after your reboot

 

I always tried to sleep between 7-9 hours and mostly did but I wake up 5 times in between that has stopped now. I never took any medication for sleeping and I would highly recommend not doing so as you most of the time get dependent on it and post pone the problem. Let your brain fix its sleep schedule by itself. I think thats a very important step of healing in PAWS. The only things I did to improve my sleep was to take magnesium in the evening and at some pretty bad times L-tryptophan which is an amino acid. You shouldn't be using that for more then 3-4 weeks though as your brain will downregulate other things if you take it too long. My best advice would be to fight through it. Eat 4-5 Hours before you sleep, stay away from any screen 2 hours before you go to bed and try to keep a tight sleep schedule. Another thing that helped a lot with falling asleep is meditation. Since I started meditating 2 years ago I have no longer the fear of being alone with my thoughts. Getting to know your inner world in daytime helps you to be comfortable with it at night time. It's easier to let go of your thoughts if you practice meditation. For me meditation is also beneficial in so many other aspects and I couldn't imagine going all this way without meditation. Disconnecting and disidentifying with your thoughts is a total game changer when your mind is going nuts. Acknowledging the fact that you have a mind and that you aren't the mind in its full totality with all its emotions and thoughts is extremely helpful. It takes time to understand this realization and by my mind I know this but the realization has to be understood every other day again. It takes time and practice but for me meditation is one of the greatest helper in beating addiction and PAWS.

 

I know what you're going through
I couldn't sleep for years, over 3 years, it's crazy, my sleep is still getting better but it's not 100% yet, I think this will be one of the last things that will fix 100%, but my latest benefit as of this last month is morning energy, it's been 4 years where I would wake up and be literally a zombie in the mornings, no energy, no vitality, no nothing, just lethargy and fatigue right from the beginning of my day, it was horrible.
This benefit for me is a breakthrough of huge proportions, I like to work in the mornings and having the energy to do so is crucial

 

Hey dude! Great to hear your story. During your first time climbing the hill, have you ever fainted because of the shortness of breath/exhaustion?