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Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by noonoon, Jan 3, 2018.
At what age do we start to warn our children about the dangers of p and m?
What do you say?
Good question. I was fortunately spared that decision - by the time I realised any of this myself, my kids were already at university!
If they were young now, I don't know when I would want to bring it up - I guess it's like most things of that nature, sooner rather than later; if they're too young to take it in, it'll just go over their heads and you'll have to repeat it at some later time. Obviously, having said that, I also realise there is a risk in making them aware that such stuff exists, which in itself might make them curious, and with some sort of internet-enabled device in every room of the house, it could turn into a Pandora's box scenario. Then again, if they don't find it out from you, they'll find it out from their friends.
Apologies for the waffle - hope you got my point, namely that I really have no clue?
If I had kids I would inform them about PM when they have their own computer. Maybe at the age of 11.
Telling them not to do it will only make them want to do it more.
Telling kids the dangers of something really helps them stay away from it. Just ask the majority of grown ups who went through the DARE program as kids.
I can't tell if you are being sarcastic or not. Not familiar with the DARE program.
Lot of kids these days are exposed earlier...
Yeah, it's sad. I guess you just gotta take your kids back in time. No Internet or cable until they're 13 and have them home schooled. I guess that's the only way.
You can do internet and Netflix but keep a filter on the computer
If I ever have children we’ll have to be an amish family
Yeah, that works and keeping the computer in the living room. But you can't give them a phone.
This is what I am doing but they have friends at school who have parents with different rules... or less control...
Yeah, I hear ya. I have a 7 year old sister and I hate it when she brings her bratty friends home. I would suggest trying this product.
"Can't give them a smartphone"
I guess when things your kid starts watching porn or masturbating --there might be signs. Like does your little boy spend too much time in the bathroom or too much time in his room,especially with internet. Maybe try checking the browsing history time to time or getting your internet usage details from your ISP.
A frank open conversation would be the best imo. Tell them about the dangers of porn and masturbation when you're giving them the birds and bees talk,which I think every parent should give to their kid.
If I had a son, I would give him THE TALK in a friendly way, making sure he feels comfortable while at the same time treated as an equal to understand the significance of what's being talked about. I'd tell him about the dangers of porn and masturbation too. And that he should not watch porn and masturbate safely and within reasonable limits and not to think of women as only sex objects while doing it or in real life. Talk to him about importance of love and all that . I guess that's the best anyone can do.
It would be more or less the same for a girl too I guess.
But yes, I think every parent owes it to talk to their kid about it,for their kid's own good. Being uncomfortable as a parent is not a good enough reason for your son now, to be in his 20s and addicted to PMO,jerking off to fetish porn etc..
Well man.. I guess.. at 14-15 years old, but the danger is that they may be curious about PMO and .. become addicts.
Tell them as soon as you give them their first owned devices or you assume like they are acting weird when you find them alone with a device.Warning:do NOT accuse them that they were doing this.This will only mess up your relationship and lead them to act more 'weird'.
I'm 15 and in my home pornography is something unspoken of because my parents are religious and they assume I'm still a little kid. Because of that look where it led me.I'm on this website looking to change my life because I'm a shameful 'Addict'.Every child is much more capable than they thought to be.I did not know there were going to be consequences to my actions when I found out about masterbuation and pornography.Learn from other's actions and don't fall into the same trap.My parents do not know I'm even involved in this sort of life.
TALK TO THEM BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE.
Why are people saying 11-16 is a good age.... How many PAs started at 7-9?
Also... We have 10-11 years old kids here on NoFap who have been addicted (their words) for over a year.
I started talking to my kids already.
My youngest is 6.
Just even about sex in general.
Make comments about stuff they see on TV... Is a simple tool any parent can employ.
I think you should talk to your kids.
If you don't they will get their education elsewhere.
And you can't be a friend when it comes to talking about sex.
They think it's 'grown-up' and want to be like a grown-up if you come off too friendly.
Be matter of fact.
It's very plain, it's simple, it's sex. (or sex adjacent - IE porn)
Don't be scared,
And if you don't know something, don't ignore it.
Say that's a good question, let me think about it and get back to you.
You don't want them to be too scared to come talk to you later.... They may try to Google their answers.... And that's a mess.
Keep it simple and short and in many small conversations.
Break it up over time.
They have to mentally digest.
& with small children -
anytime they bring something up, you ask "hmm that's interesting, say, since you brought it up - so I can properly answer your question, can you tell me what you already know about it? /or what made you ask? /or think about it?"
Get more information.
(question their question)
That way you can address where your kids level of learning or interest in the subject is, without giving away more than they want or would need for the subject.
(so they don't go outwardly seeking more new questions - instead are coming to you for answers)
But yes @noonoon I do think that parents have a critical impact on a childs development and whether or not they develop early addiction or skills to cope and or have educational tools at their disposal.
Talk to your pediatrician! Masturbation itself is completely normal - will probably get flagged for this, but not all masturbation is sexual. Pornography blah, blah, blah - for me there is nothing to discuss on this subject. If you need to you can always download spyware, set up filters etc. Bottom line as I see it is talk to your children. There are age appropriate discussions, not sure see first sentence. School counselors are generally more than happy to share information with you, you can also reach out to victim's advocacy group in your area that most likely already come into your schools, if here in the US, to discuss, safety.
So how old were u when u started? And was it through phone, family computer, etc?
And good for you for getting out quickly how horrible this shot of for you.